Gagey - you're two... and a half.
Two makes me laugh... it's so smart, so goofy, so child, so baby, so giggly, so bursting into tears...
so intensely selfish...
Oh, little son - your range of emotions exhausts & exhilarates me. Your fleshy little heart wants control over the whole world - & yet you lack control over your very own emotions.
Today, at the fountain, you warily guarded each toy that we had brought with us. We had three ride on toys that you didn't want any other child to touch. It was a full time job for you to be in control - running out, grabbing the toys & walking back carrying them sobbing great heaving sobs as you glared viciously at every other innocent child there. You didn't even get the chance to enjoy riding them yourself because you were so busy making sure nobody else could either.
i wanted to laugh and cry as i watched you - it was so familiar to me.
i know it's because you were overtired - 'cause you've never done something so silly before -
but i have...
Oh, Father - do you love me too in my selfishness? Do you gently remind me that i lack nothing as i refuse to listen in between my howling sobs? Do you want to scoop me up in Your arms like i scooped up my little one - and whisper sweet comfort & croon words of love?
What a funny lesson you gave me today in the form of my darling sunshine boy.