Friday, October 31, 2008

So, the other day, i was looking at some blogs. There's one, it's one of my favourite blogs, 'cause the mama is so sweet (yes, i'm talking about you, lily of the valley) ~ with the long hair & pretty dresses. Anyway, she posted this "classy up-do" very old fashioned pin curls.. ."& then the next day, your hair will be in beautiful cascading curls!" So, i thought, since Neil's not home, i'll try that. i tried to hurriedly scramble it up & got bored half way through, but managed to get it all up... We had a play date later that day & my friend said to me, "wow, your hair looks... funky" ... hmmm... i was going for classic 19th century, but i'll take funky... Fast forward to the next day ~ we had accidentally slept in till 8:30... i go to take down the pin curls & they have turned into DREAD LOCKS!!

i didn't know what to do. i was in my pj's wondering what i should do with my new jamaican 'do & i hear the doorbell ring. i'm sitting there, in my pj's with half my hair up, half down wondering who is so rude as to ring my doorbell at 9am & Peyton runs upstairs, gapes at my hair & says, "mom, it's the facilitator!!" HAHA!! i pulled on some clothes, & tied the dreads back & went downstairs to what looked like a war-zone & put on my best smile. "Welcome to the loony bin". Ah, well... maybe i'll try the pin curls another time. i ended up with crazy Janis Joplin hair ~ not very homeschool mama-ish, but it was fun for one day...





Thursday, October 30, 2008

This is a nice picture too. Nope, 's not toilet paper... i never used disposable diaper liners with my other littles in cloth, but i bought some on a whim with Gage & i *love* them. We call them "poop catchah's" & that's exactly what they are. i always heard that they get bunched up & don't do much good, but we're not having that experience at all... It makes the whole cloth diaper thing a lot easier & i would highly recommend them.


(stoppin' for coffee break on our hike... we can all use things that make life a little easier :)

Wednesday, October 29, 2008



Now, *this* is a beautiful picture....

Maybe not to you...

But this picture is of PART 1 of Neil's new (in the garage) at-home office. i cannot wait till he's working from home. He has 'till Jan. 1st to finish it (when the lease runs out on the office he's in). He just started on Saturday & he's got the new window in, the walls framed & 3 potlights all wired in. He rolls his eyes when i jump up & down squealing about him working from home. He's probably picturing all our little faces crammed up against the window pane grinning at him, (he's probably not too far off...) but i'm no dummy... i know he'll need his space, & frankly, we don't just sit around all day doing nothing... (ahem... most days...) so, we'll need our space too. These days, when he's travelling too much (did he really just tell me yesterday after 3 straight weeks of travelling that he might have to go to Vancouver again next week??!! *sigh*) i picture me sneaking out there when i can grab a moment with 2 cups of coffee, one black & one with cream & sugar... & it's getting me through the day...

Monday, October 27, 2008



Neil has been working & travelling a *ton* this month. He was in Edmonton till late last night & then tonight he heads out to Toronto *again*... i'm so excited for him & i know that this is just a very short season & bum luck that he's gone so much in one short period of time, but man, i miss that guy when he's not around & i just don't even feel like myself.
So, yesterday, after i had my bath (at 4pm!!) & *finally* got out of my pyjamas (eek) i got little G down for his second nap & decided i was going to read a bit of a book my sister Jess had lent me. It's called _Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe_ by Todd Wilson.


i think he could have actually called it 'lies most moms believe that keep them from becoming homeschooling moms' ~ but maybe that's another post... or maybe that title was too long ~ hehe. Anyway, it was an encouraging little breath of fresh air for me yesterday afternoon. There's one part where he describes being an encouragement to other homeschool moms & just reading his description of how we should be on the sidelines, cheering, encouraging, being real ~ just made me realize how much i ache for that in my own life. It's funny too, because i have 2 sisters who homeschool & Neil & i both have extremely supportive family concerning our decision to homeschool, plus i have friends in my area who homeschool & who are sweet encouragement to me ~ so if i feel that, how much more do other moms who don't have the same beautiful support system i have??

So, here's my 'shout out' to any homeschoolers that read this post. You are amazing! You are doing something that is very, very hard work. i know, we could all keep going, work harder, do more, do it better, but for those of you who are in a marathon, not a sprint, keep going! ~ God gave your children the mama He knew they needed & what you are doing is *enough*.
So often i find that there are things that seem to be at first, a *good* thing... but time passes... slight changes happen, i wake up a little... & see that the thing that seemed at first to be a good thing, actually set a precedent of acceptability for some pretty unacceptable things.

Here is an example...

i'm *not* an organ donor ~ & here's part of the reason why:

Shock: Oxford Neonatologist Says Time Has Come to Consider “Mandatory Organ Donation”Also suggests that “donor death” criteria for organ donation should be abandoned


By Kathleen Gilbert


OXFORD, UK, October 24, 2008 (LifeSiteNews.com) - According to Dr. Julian Savulescu, the Uehiro Chair of Practical Ethics at the University of Oxford, and neonatologist and Oxford graduate student Dominic Wilkinson, bold steps may have to be taken to increase the supply of organs for transplant. This, they say in a co-authored article published today, could be accomplished by removing one simple impediment - the requirement of donor "death." In a separate article, published last week, Wilkinson suggested an even more radical plan – mandatory organ donation.
"We could abandon the dead donor rule," wrote the pair in today’s article, published on Oxford’s Centre of Practical Ethics’ website. "We could for example, allow organs to be taken from people who are not brain dead, but who have suffered such severe injury that they would be permanently unconscious, like Terry Schiavo, who would be allowed to die anyway by removal of their medical treatment."
Romanian-Australian professor Savulescu's most recent statements are entirely of a piece with his outspoken advocacy of the most controversial forms of human manipulation, including genetic screening, cloning, human/plant or human/beast hybrids, and the use of performance enhancing drugs for athletes. Savulescu, a proponent of the most radical form of utilitarian ethics, told the Sydney Morning Herald in August that when he was a young doctor he was a “believer,” until he encountered an unsettling image of death in the form of a corpse.
"That, for me, just made the meaninglessness of death extremely vivid," he said. "You think there's something beautiful and peaceful about death. There's not. People's mouths are sewn together."
He then left medicine to complete a Ph.D. on "good reasons to die," reported the Herald.
Savulescu and his protégé, graduate student Dominic Wilkinson, published the article in response to the concerns raised by Australian Dr. James Tibballs that under the current “brain death” criteria, most donors will actually surrender their organs while they are still alive. (http://www.lifesitenews.com/ldn/2008/oct/08102105.html)
In doing so the Oxford scholars have joined the small but influential chorus of organ donation proponents who have downplayed the doctor's statements, complaining they would stem the flow of organs from donors, who may begin to think twice about signing that donor card.
Wilkinson also published a solo article on October 20, in which he not only suggested the removal of the death criteria for organ donation, but also the criteria of consent.
One solution to the perceived dearth of donated organs, Wilkinson says, is to simply give patients the option to donate their organs before death. Another alternative: remove the superfluous requirement of choice. "We may come to think that the benefit of organ donation is so great that we should reject the current charade of informed consent for organ donation," wrote Wilkinson.
“After all, at present thousands of patients per year die for want of an available organ. Yet every day potentially life-saving organs are buried or burned because their owners did not make their wishes clear during life, because their families could not come to terms with the idea of donation, or because doctors failed to approach families to ask them for permission.
"Consent is relevant to what happens to us while we are alive. But once we are dead, our organs cannot benefit us, while they could save the lives of up to 6 others. Perhaps it is time to contemplate mandatory organ donation after death?"
Wilkinson says that he agrees with Tibballs that the precise moment of death is a "fiction," and calls upon the medical community to "change the moment of death" and "move the definitional point of death slightly earlier into the dying process to account for his [Tibballs'] worries."
In the more recent article, the one co-authored with Savulescu, the authors claim that Tibballs' concern that patients are being dissected alive are irrelevant. "Whether or not this is true," they write, "there is no dispute on one issue: organs are not being taken from people who would have lived if their organs had not been taken."
Not all agree with this statement, however. An increasing number of doctors and bioethicists, including Tibballs, are becoming alarmed at evidence pointing to the routine evisceration of patients that might have recovered. LSN has in the past reported numerous cases in which organ donors were found to be alive only moments before dissection, often making a complete recovery. (http://www.lifesitenews.com/ldn/2008/mar/08032709.html; http://www.lifesitenews.com/ldn/2008/jun/08061308.html)
Savulescu and Wilkinson, however, also take into consideration this objection by suggesting that people who have merely "a low chance of any meaningful recovery" could still be eligible for organ removal.
Conservative bioethicist Wesley J. Smith responded to Wilkinson’s original article, saying, "I believe and hope that this remains a minority view."
"But the fact that it is considered a matter of respectable discourse is cause for concern."

Saturday, October 25, 2008

The difference between boys & girls...


When Charter was a baby, i remember one day, him pulling himself up to the window & making BROOMMMMMM BROOM noises excitedly as he watched a loader & bobcat drive past. Cai ran to the window to see what he was looking at & exclaimed, "awwwwww, a mommy & a baby bobcat!!"


This difference was illustrated to me again this week. i was sitting on the couch with Charter doing school & in his lesson, there was a 3 frame cartoon. He was supposed to insert the dialogue for the characters. The first frame had a dog talking to a cat, the second was the cat talking to the dog & the third was the dog talking to the cat again. Charter knew instantly what he was supposed to do before i even explained his lesson. He started shouting, "THAT FIRST PICTURE, THE DOG IS SAYING, 'I'M GONNA BEAT YOU UP!!!' & IN THE SECOND ONE THE CAT IS SAYING, 'OK' & IN THE THIRD ONE, THE DOG SAYS, "WHAT??!!" & then Molls piped up.... "nononononononononoooooooo!! In the first one, the dog says, 'will you marry me and be my wife?' & in the second one, the cat says, 'yes!' & in the third one, the dog says, 'yay!!'


hmmmm, all a matter of perspective, i guess...



Friday, October 24, 2008

ahhhh.... no sleep again today. i had a few things i wanted to blog about, but haven't the energy to put it into words yet... One day soon...
So, it's that time of year again... Our street is flooded with 'hazard' tape & orange lights, there are witches, graves & ghosts... ew. It's the 24th, so another week of this. Maybe it seems like going overboard to some, but we don't even talk about that holiday in our house. We've called it Reformation Day so much over the years, that that's what our children refer to it as... & they're homeschooled, so there's nobody really to tell them differently. When i was growing up, we dressed up & trick or treated... Neil's family did things differently ~ they went out for Chinese food every October 31st & we've sort of adopted that tradition. It's funny, 'cause it's not something that is a huge issue to me, but it really really is to my oldest dd. She can get a little riled up at times over things that really matter to her (apple doesn't fall far from the tree...) & when we get invitations to various "alternative" celebrations around this time of year... (are they really alternative, or are they just how we celebrate now??) her quick reply is, 'no'. Something i'm learning as a momma is to encourage my littles to listen when they feel a caution about something. She obviously feels like this is a celebration she'd like to avoid. She loves Jesus & i have no doubt that her reservations about this holiday come from a desire to be loyal to Him. She loved our Sukkot celebration & her favourite holiday is Thanksgiving... but on Reformation day, we'll be enjoying our almond chicken & excited that maybe on November 1st, the neighbours will reclaim their yards & it will be over till next year...

Thursday, October 23, 2008

We went to the Children's Hospital today to have Gage's first physiotherapy appointment. It went fine ~ kind of a waste of time, but we've been doing the physio like crazy since meeting with the pediatrician a few months ago & the physiotherapist said that he could tell we've been doing it because the bones in his foot are still pretty loose, which is good news. i have one more exercise to do & he's getting me to change the one we've been doing just a bit so that the inside of his foot & heel get a little more stretch. We go to the pediatric orthopedic specialist on November the 12th & we'll know a little more ~ like if they're going to want to treat his foot with casts or special shoes or anything.
G was being his normal cute self, trying to escape the whole time & grabbing everything in sight & throwing it on the ground. He grabbed this big heavy toy & bonked the physiotherapist on the head (the guy was SO good natured) but it made his eyes water...
G also climbed up our whole staircase today. i love this mobile little man. How is it that the baby stage never gets 'old'? This little boy is light & life & joy in this house.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

i have this silly little birth defect in my back... Right in the middle, 2 vertebrae are fused.. It used to hurt when i was little, but not really anymore, but sometimes getting G in & out of the tubbie hurts. This is my easy out:


Lookit his boooful blue eyes. i love this boy.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Meet me, Father.
here...
in this dirty house...
in my disheveled pyjamas...
Be with me, Father.
as i face this day with nothing left ~
forced to rely on your bountiful supply.
Gently lead me ~
amen.
hmmm... i tried adding a playlist... i'm not good at dj'ing :) Thinking up my favourite songs & then putting them in a good order. o well, might be fun.

Friday, October 17, 2008

k, *honestly*....



Every single time i go to download my pictures, i forget to check for all the crazy shots added by the littles... i wonder how many movies Peyton made, or pictures of Gage Sloanie took... harumph... Guess i'll wait & see when they're all uploaded...







video

Thursday, October 16, 2008

1676
i just checked this blog and that's how many comments there are on her most recent post from October 14. i'll probably never have that many comments in my whole blogging career :) but it's a huge number ~ even for her blog, where she almost always has comments in the hundreds. The response is to her blog post about October 15th being the National Day of Remembrance for pregnancy and infant loss... She invited readers to post and share about their precious losses & there has been this huge response. i started reading some of the responses & found myself incredibly moved. i know that most of the people who read my blog are women who, like me, have lost a baby, & so you know that there's this lonesome silence out there... but it was unbelievable to me to read those comments, & hear the pain of early miscarriage, SIDS, stillbirth, and horribly regretted abortions. i thought of the women in my church congregation ~ where there's still so many that i don't know ~ or only know on a very surface level... likely at least 1 in 3 has experienced this type of loss. i love that there's a National Day of Remembrance in the States... we need one here too.
Also... i know, i didn't post about the election at all. i voted here, knowing that the man i voted for shares my convictions on human life ~ but for those of us that hoped that a Conservative government would mean some protection for the unborn, there is bitter disappointment. i wonder if our economic collapse has anything to do with our complete ethical & moral collapse... i know i've said this before & i keep saying it because we don't talk about it enough & people don't even know that *this* is the reality in Canada: there are no legal restrictions on abortion. Abortion is legal at any stage of pregnancy. There is *no* parental consent required for women (children) 12 years of age and over, and this "medical" procedure is paid for by our tax dollars. Canada has taken an extreme stand on this issue ~ it is one of only a few nations that have gone to this extent to protect a woman's right to end her child's life. There are about 30 abortions performed for every 100 live births in the country right now... & honestly... unless our hearts change, i can't see that number dropping.
My sister has her baby's 3D ultrasound picture as the screensaver on her computer... So sweet. Little peaceful babe...
Before we went to the Walk To Remember, i went on Youtube & looked at the 3D ultrasounds of babies at 16 weeks (how far along Caleb was when he died...) We need to look at these images & grapple with the fact that *these* are the innocent, the helpless, the unwanted, the 'least of these' that are too inconvenient for our politicians to make laws to protect.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

i was reading in the Today's Family email i got this morning that they've developed a new test for Downs Syndrome ~ & the story said something that broke my heart. i was going to type "shocked me" but, really, that's just not true anymore. It said that around 90% of babies diagnosed in utero with Downs are aborted in the US right now. i followed the link to their source & found this quote:
But Dr. Will Johnston, president of Canadian Physicians for Life, reacted to ACOG’s pre-natal testing endorsement as another step toward eugenics.
“The progress of eugenic abortion into the heart of our society is a classic example of “mission creep,’ ” Johnson said in an article posted on the group’s Web site in February 2007. “In the 1960s, we were told that legal abortion would be a rare tragic act in cases of exceptional hardship. In the ‘70s abortion began to be both decried and accepted as birth control. In the ‘80s respected geneticists pointed out that it was cheaper to hunt for and abort Down’s babies than to raise them. By the ‘90s that observation had been widely put into action. Now we are refining and extending our eugenic vision, with new tests and abortion as our central tools.”
No wonder it makes me nervous to go to the doctor when i'm pregnant. i do refuse all the tests, but i wonder in a profession that is so bent on a search and destroy mission, if my views on the sanctity of life would be shouted down? What if we're better off letting little ones grow 'in the secret place' ~ unwatched & untested?
"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous- how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered." ~ Psalm 139:13-17

Monday, October 13, 2008

Home again.
Thanksgiving 2008 was so good ~ again, hosted by my middle sister~ & with the 3 sisters' families, my mom & dad & my gramma & grandpa (ancient one & gg... i kid you not, they chose those names...) there were twenty-eight people there! The cousins went crazy eating cookies & treats, riding horses, catching bunnies & apparently, Charter rode a goat. They performed their musical & played music, got way too little sleep & too much sugar.
So, i'm home again.
Sort of.
Home implies my heart is here, but he's somewhere in Toronto right now... *sigh*. We dropped Neil off at the Edmonton airport & then continued on to Calgary by ourselves. Hopefully this week goes by quick...

Friday, October 10, 2008

Daddy school...
So, Molls is my only 'preschooler'. Gage is just a baby & all the rest are doing 'real' school & Molls is miffed. i try really really hard to have 'school' for her to do... cutting, pasting, writing, drawing, colouring... but sometimes i just give her my most excited face & say, 'darling, YOU get FREE TIME now!!! Lucky YOU!!' & her face crumbles & she tells me, 'but, momma, i NEED to do school, i WANT to do school!!'...
So, yesterday was kinda busy & i didn't get any time to do school with Mollen. It was bed time & i hate to let a day go by without reading with my 6yo, so he was in bed with me doing his reading & Molls found us & gave me a look like i was Judas. She just started crying & was so upset that i didn't make the time for school, so Neil said, 'c'mon, we'll do daddy school'... She looked at him like, 'um, are you sure you know what you're doing, dad?' & then started to go get her books, but he said, 'nope, you don't need books for daddy school, come on in bed... ' reluctantly, she gave up the idea of getting her books & pencils & crawled into bed beside him... & they did math on their fingers, counting by 10's & visited up a storm.
ahhhhh... daddy school. Every little one needs daddy school....

Thursday, October 9, 2008

humph...
i wanted to post about all the little 'homeschooly' extras that i love... i love that my littles wrote a musical for Thanksgiving, & that Cai can pick up her fiddle to practice for 5 minute chunks 10 times during the day ~ i love that my children bake, play with each other & i like watching a big kid sitting on the couch, coaching a little kid through a reading exercise they did several years ago.
but...
today is a gong show... i spent an hour cleaning out our supplies cupboard because our supplies had scattered to the 4 corners of the universe, when i went to put Gage down for his nap, all the little students also scattered to the 4 corners of the universe (i can hear the 3 younger ones playing cards in the basement & who knows what the 2 oldest are doing up in Cai's room... hopefully it's educational?), it took me until almost 11am to get the kitchen cleaned up from breakfast & usually i've got a ton accomplished by 11: history, bible, *all* of Charter's school & half of Peytons...
What happened today?
Well, we're going to my sister's house for Thanksgiving, so i had to prepare & freeze my casseroles i'm bringing (the buns & cookies we did last week...), one who will remain unnamed asked me if New Brunswick is in Canada, after we've been studying the provinces & territories for the past 3 weeks. *sigh*.. The kids had to practice their play that they're putting on for the family, & we had to gather props, costumes, deal with an uncooperative 4yo, & a little baby who kept finding teeny things to stick in his mouth, there was some poooooopy diapers that needed attention this morning & i started to feel a little overwhelmed.
This is homeschool.
The reality is: life happens ~ i love how C.S. Lewis put it ~

“The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one’s ‘own,’ or ‘real’ life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one’s real life—the life God is sending one day by day; what one calls one’s ‘real life’ is a phantom of one’s own imagination. This at least is what I see at moments of insight: but it’s hard to remember it all the time.” The Quotable Lewis, (Wheaton, Ill.: Tyndale House Publishers, 1989), 335.

So, now, it's 11:41. i can add, 'i blogged' to my meager list of accomplishments today. i can call the littles up & we can review... again... the provinces & territories that make up our fair nation & i can embrace today as another little stepping stone on the course set before me.
Away we go...

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

i never posted this before ~ it's Cai's, but she said i could. i think sometimes i underestimated the impact that losing Hope would have on my other children. i remember i brought them all to the ultrasound ~ & they waited in the waiting room for me. i remember trying to get myself under control ~ just till we could get to the vehicle ~ but they knew something was wrong. Neil was out of town & we were going to pick him up at the airport. They all started asking questions & i just broke down clinging to the steering wheel & blurted out that our baby had died... all five of them cried. The sorrow was palpable. Cai seemed to me not the same for several months after we lost Hope. Even when we told her we were pregnant again, she just sobbed. Shortly after Gage was born, she wrote this poem... called, The Baby.

One winter day, a baby was born
a baby so special and long waited for
that one little person, so perfect and small,
changed all of our lives, the first minute we knew him.

Before this baby was even conceived,
another small baby began to be weaved...
but this little baby, so loved and so hoped for,
never took it's first breath in this imperfect world.

Both babies were blessings,
and we loved them both dearly,
but only one lived,
and only one cried.

Oh, why must we only remember?
When we could hold and love.
Oh, why must we only remember?
The baby who never could be.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

My Favourite Bible Story
i do have a favourite. There are a ton of good ones in there ~ & seriously, every time i read my bible, i find details that i've missed every other time. It is such a good book. i love the "do not worry" passage in Matthew ~ & haven't we all at some point felt like we could relate to Job? & then there's Jonah... & the big fish & John the Baptist & Elijah... i love the story of the fiery furnace & the story of Esther being born 'for such a time as this'... just jumping around randomly to a few that pop to mind as i type this...
But, my favourite bible story is in 2 Chronicles.
It's part of the story of King Hezekiah ~ i know he wasn't perfect ~ but there's a part where the people have totally fallen away from God, Hezekiah says, "our fathers were unfaithful"... & he knows things need to change ~ but it's not even Hezekiah's obedience that gets me. It's later on, when Hezekiah decides to celebrate Passover. It's supposed to be celebrated in a certain way & there were rules to follow & times to observe it. They hadn't been able to celebrate it at the regular time because not enough priests had 'consecrated' themselves & the people had not assembled in Jerusalem ~ & later on it says 'since many in the crowd had not consecrated themselves'... (2 chronicles 30:18-20) "*yet* they ate the Passover, contrary to what was written. But Hezekiah prayed for them saying, "May the Lord, who is good, pardon everyone who sets his heart on seeking God ~ the Lord, the God of his fathers ~ even if he is not clean according to the rules of the sanctuary." And the Lord heard Hezekiah and healed the people."
So i love this story because every so often, i've wondered, 'God, have we just fallen too far & are too far gone to hear your voice & follow? Have we messed up our bible translations, have we misinterpreted the Good News? Have we passed down tradition instead of *true* Christianity? Hezekiah's story gives me hope. They did it wrong, & the only thing they had in their defence was that they had set their hearts on seeking God.
It's not a finish line, but it's a good starting point. i'm setting my heart on seeking God ~ He is faithful ~ i have to believe that He will teach me & not let me continue in ignorance...
So, i make Hezekiah's prayer mine too...

Monday, October 6, 2008

walk to remember
















Brennan's & Caleb & Hope's balloons went together ~ Brennan's is on the bottom.





The Walk was beautiful ~
We got there & registered ~ & visited with my sister Stephanie & her crew & my friend Jen & her husband Brian. Every so often, i'd look around & wonder that there were all these people there who missed a little one too... i think there ended up being around 350 people there ~ & they said they had anticipated a quarter of them. The walk was short, but so pretty, with leaves falling all around us ~ as we got back to the place where we started, there was a part of the sidewalk where they had written each one of our baby's names. i found Caleb's right away & looked & looked for Hope's. We found sweet Brennan's name written in white & standing out so clearly 'i was here'... & then found Charis Fehler & Wyatt said to me, 'that's our baby'. i thought to myself ~ that's ok... i know there are a million details going into an event like this & if they missed Hope's name, it's ok... & we went & sat down. A minute later, Stephanie found me & showed me the picture she took of Hope's little name... i have no idea how we missed it ~ but, i'm so glad she found it. They had given us tags for the balloons we were going to release. i wrote their names on tags & tied them together on a balloon ~ some wrote a message on the back ~ i didn't... maybe next year. They called our babies names one by one & we released our balloons. What a beautiful day ~ to see their names ~ that don't normally get written, to hear their names ~ that i don't normally hear... & just by my presence to say, 'i miss my babies'.

Friday, October 3, 2008

i read about this walk on my friend Jen's blog. i told her, "i just fell in love with the idea when i read about it ~ it so makes sense to me ~ in this country where "choice" is shouted so loud that *grief* cannot be heard... " & then after i typed those words, i thought, i'm gonna put them on my blog. What my sister wrote resonated with me too...
i asked Neil if he would take me & he said yes right away.
i am so blessed.
so... i think we're gonna go.
p

Thursday, October 2, 2008


*sigh* i have no time to blog...

but i felt like it.

i just now felt jealous of my (almost) 8 month old baby because i laid him gently in his little bed with a soft blanket. *sigh*... i have to go clean house & get supper started ~ (i impromptu invited company, so i should at least try!)

So, just a little story that i remembered that reminds me of this *season*...

Charter came into my room with pencil & paper in hand & excitedly asked me, "MOM, HOW DO YOU SPELL, 'I LOVE YOU GIRLS'"? So, i wrote it down for him to copy & laid back smugly in my bed, 'i must be doing something right...' when he appears again..."MOM, HOW DO YOU SPELL, 'SORT OF'"

hehe.

i love house cleaning...

sort of.

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