35 - 35

i learned something new this pregnancy. Some women get really excited about "35 weeks & only 35 days to go" - that's me today (depending on what "due date" you believe :)
i feel like baby has turned - (maybe more on that later in another post) & i feel more comfortable... i feel excited, anticipation...
i also *feel*... a lot.
Today, God gave me a moment of clarity that i needed.
It was a picture in my head... i was looking furtively around, almost in a panic - for all the things i thought i needed. Rushing from this corner to that, looking in every nook & cranny to find whatever it was that had driven me to this state.
Suddenly i found my face cupped in His hands.
Not Neils.
Not my children's...
Not a doctor's or a midwife's...
There was no substitute.
There was a pause - like when you're already in motion & you get stopped so quickly, you get whiplash.
"Here, paige... here is your peace..." He reminded me, allowing me to glimpse into His Goodness.
There was nowhere else to look... nobody else to expect to give it to me... nowhere else i needed to turn.
Here - with my cheeks resting on the palms of His hands - i found myself worshipping my Saviour. The One who comforts and consoles - the one who *sees me* - & the only One who is worthy. The One to whom i can completely surrender. The One in whom i become lost...
Here... Here is my peace.