ack, life just continues to change and go and move and it's just one thing after another... it looks like we may move again .... ***sigh***.
Moving is fun, but twice in one year is a little much.
Nothing's really for sure yet, so i guess i'll just post again once i actually know something. i'm reminded of a quote someone gave me once:

"The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one's "own" or "real" life. The truth is, of course, that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one's real life ~ the life God is sending one day by day; what one calls one's "real" life is a phantom of one's own imagination. This is at least what I see at moments of insight, but it's hard to remember it all the time." (The letters of C.S. Lewis to Arthur Greeves ~ 20th December 1943)

God is so good... & i know through all this, He is faithful & He is doing something in me... Just hard to see sometimes.

Yikes, i've got a little one climbing into my lap in tears. Gotta go.
paige

i had a great talk with a good friend (we've been friends since grade 6!) the other day. She called to wish me a happy birthday... (& can i believe we're 30??!!).
As our conversations usually do (even tho conversations are rare, they're always edifying) ~ the talk turned to our passions. Today she sent me a link to a unicef website ~ actually, here's a cut and paste from her email:

"Today I watched a documentary on child pornography and was motivated to look up Canada's laws. In the process I came across the Unicef site with a downloadable version of the UN's Convention on the Rights of the Child (1989). I thought it might make a good resource for your site."

So, unicef is totally about the rights of exploited & underpriviledged children, right? So, why does even the name give me the heebie jeebies? i did a little looking ~ i knew what i was looking for ~ the planned parenthood link, but it's even more than that. i found a website (here, i'll quote)

"LifeSiteNews.com - Widely circulated daily news reports on important developments in Canada, the United States and around the world, with a special focus on United Nations matters. Its purpose is to provide balance and more accurate coverage on culture, life and family matters than is usually given by other media. Available by free daily email subscription and on LifeSite."

Anyway, there's a link on my website... i signed up for their daily newsletter. i hope it's good. Ted Gerk's newsletter Pro-Life E-News [tgerk@shaw.ca] is *also* really good. It makes it so much easier to be informed & thus easier to be vocal & have an impact.

K, now here's me... feeling bad that it seems like all i'm doing is saying: don't support the 46 health care charities that support stem cell research... don't support unicef, don't immunize... etc... & this is NOT what i'm trying to be about... it just seems that the enemy wants us to call what's evil good, & what's good evil. There are so many good organizations out there who are not tainted ~ i would just encourage people (including me) to dig a little deeper & try to find ways of helping the poor & opressed without supporting agencies that are entangled in a culture of death. i find that i'm constantly having to rethink my priorities & i'm constantly feeling challenged to ~ as my mom would say ~ "think things through to their logical conclusion"... *sigh*

Jesus, help me to see clearer. Help me to keep my compassion without sacrificing truth. amen.
paige

Thursday, July 13th 2006 ~ My last day in my 20's ~
Breakfast: Toast, avocado, coffee
Lunch: Mr. Noodles (Cai cooked) toast (Sloan cooked) OJ (Peyton cooked!)
Supper: pb&j sandwich (hey, Neil's out of town)

i read: The Tale of Despereaux (half last night, half today)
3 chapters of Anne of the Island to the big girls (Cai read 1)
Lots of email
Some psalms & the story of the persistent widow (Luke 18)
(This week i read "underground to Canada" & "Voyage of Hope ~ the saga of the brideships"

What's on my mind: Becky M., heaven, babies, children, missing Cai and Sloan when they go to fiddle camp this week... having too much company, are we gonna move again? Can i pull this off? Be a real homeschooling mom?

Played and sang today: "my cry" ~ by me
"blessed be your name, in the land that is plentiful"...
"stuck in a moment" U2

~ missed Neil... who will be home sometime after midnight ~

i wore: a sundress ~ plaid ~ from Old Navy
hair: in barrettes

I HOPE MY 30's BRING..... (by their close...)
#one... glory to God... He is my hope & salvation... i hope my 30's bring a closer walk...

*more homeschooling
* happiness & love in my marriage...
*clarity
*less selfishness
*one daughter into womanhood! (Cai will be 20!)
*two daughters finished highschool! (Sloan will be 18)
*my tiny Mollen into double digits! (She'll be 12)
*Peyton will be sixteen!
*Charter will probably be bigger than me (at 14).
*Oh, God, i'm scared to hope, but i yearn for my 30's to bring me another child.
*i want to be a better mom.

IN MY 20's I LEARNED.....
*How to die to self
*How to be a mom
*How to be a wife
*How to cook, clean, organize, do laundry & run a household.
*How to grieve... how it really feels ~ to grieve...
*How to give birth, & breastfeed... & breastfeed... & breastfeed
*How to "run" a homeschool!
*How to pack up & move a whole household... again, and again, and again...
*How important God's Grace is...
*How unimportant most fights are.
*How much i *love* being a wife & momma~
*How to dress like a grown-up... (sort of)
*i *love* Neil.
*How to put together a website.
*That i don't know much... but i want to... & i'm willing to do something about it.
*Your children can surpass your wildest hopes and expectations...

IN MY 30's I WANT TO LEARN....
*How to impact this world & take back ground our parents lost... for the sake of my children who will battle this darkness after i'm gone.
*How to FIGHT against what i know to be wrong ~
*and how to EMBRACE love... above all to love, Love like Jesus, "do unto others"...
*How to homeschool successfully through highschool.
*i want to know more about the environment & good nutrition & exercise... to pass on good habits to my littles.
*How to teach my girls all i learned in my 20's (!) (maybe not all, but LOTS)
*Miracles happen, hearts soften...
*Neil loves me...
*How to let my babies go...
*How will we do this dating thing??
*More about prayer and fasting...
*How to find a schedule that i can actually do.
*How to get up earlier in the morning.

i can't believe my sweet little macho man is turning F O U R tomorrow. i *do* love being a mom. Seems i'm blinking and they're growing ~ life is changing ~ . i'm not ready to be finished having babies. i keep trying to put into words what is in my heart. i love my 5 children i have with me now ~ but there is still a longing. i still feel open, and ready, and waiting... This sucks waiting for him to be ready. i've been ready - since Molls was born. & now she's 25 mos old. & i'm turning t h i r t y . Maybe i will have my wee one when i'm 31. Maybe God is softning Neil's heart right now - maybe maybe maybe... i would breastfeed, cloth diaper, home labour ~ (wouldn't dream of asking for a homebirth). i know where the cradle would go. God has been good. He has carried me. He has watered my love and kept the weeds from choking out all love. He has sustained me. He has sheltered me & kept me. That is what i will take from these years of being "qf" without Neil. The 'lifter of my head' .
This is so hard for both Neil and i. i never would have seen this coming when we got married. The best part of this struggle is seeing how *little* other things matter in comparison.
Oh, God, help me - help me to be the wife you want me to be! i'm so weak. i'm so unable. i'm so unsure of how to proceed. i want You, Father.
i pray for my family. Help us. Be the fire and the cloud to us. Hear us, see us and have compassion on us. Bless Neil. Heal our hurts. Protect us from the enemy who seeks to kill and destroy our marriage, our home and our hearts. Keep us first for You, and second for each other. Protect our little ones - help us to love, value, cherich and raise our children in a way that will bring you glory.

After i had been at the hospital overnight. (i was so tired that when i bonked my head on that stupid tv, i almost cried) ~ That was the time they decided to grill me on our decision not to immunize my children. i decided to take the clearest route and tell him that for me it was an ethical decision ~ to which he replied that ethics can mean different things ~ (no great surprise to me... i know that for some people it's unethical that they use chicken embryos for vaccines). I told him that no, it was the aborted fetal tissue where i drew the line and that was unacceptable to me.. He then told me how he's seen children as sick as charter, the next week all (he's pantomiming their physical disability) twisted and unresponsive with not much hope of rehabilitation. He also told me that he's not sure about fetal tissue being used, but that i should make sure that my sources are accurate. i told him that i was sure, and that i was not going to make my decision based solely on fear (which is what i felt like he was trying to make me do). Here is a link to one of my sources if anyone is interested. There is more information in the links section of sojourners.
http://www.sojourners.ca/Default.aspx?tabid=350
All that said, it *is* a personal decision. While i believe that we should all be putting pressure on the health system to make more 'ethical' vaccines available in Canada, if some choose to immunize with what *is* availabe, that's a decision made, i'm sure, with fear and trembling & i can respect that even people who are prolife differ on where the responsiblity lies.
Here is the summary of the Vatican statement:
"To summarize, it must be confirmed that there is a grave responsibility to use alternative vaccines and to make a conscientious objection with regard to those which have moral problems. As regards the vaccines without an alternative, the need to contest so that others may be prepared must be reaffirmed, as should be the lawfulness of using the former in the meantime insomuch as is necessary in order to avoid a serious risk not only for one's own children but also, and perhaps more specifically, for the health conditions of the population as a whole -- especially for pregnant women The lawfulness of the use of these vaccines should not be misinterpreted as a declaration of the lawfulness of their production, marketing and use, but is to be understood as being a passive material cooperation and, in its mildest and remotest sense, also active, morally justified as an "extrema ratio" due to the necessity to provide for the good of one's children and of the people who come in contact with the children -- pregnant women. Such cooperation occurs in a context of moral coercion of the conscience of parents, who are forced to choose to act against their conscience or otherwise, to put the health of their children and of the population as a whole at risk. This is an unjust alternative choice, which must be eliminated as soon as possible."

This weekend our world stood still. Charter had an asthma attack that landed him in the hospital overnight. Here's the email i sent to my sisters.


"We had a terrifying weekend... The pre story is that Charter had a cough and was kind of tired all day on Saturday... It started to get worse around 5pm, and by 6pm he was working hard to breathe, that's when Neil and I decided we should get him to a walk in clinic. (we should have probably called 911) .
We phoned ben and karen (friends of ours) to see if they knew of a walk in that would be open and they gave us a couple of names, so we bundled Charter and Mollen into the vehicle and went. (neils' friend Trevor and his wife Glenda were here for a visit and we left the girls with them). He was breathing funny, but would respond and was too lethargic to walk to the vehicle. By the time we drove to both clinics and found out both were closed, we didn't know what to do. Charter sounded horrible and we didn't know where the closest emerg was. My cell phone rings, and it's ben. He phoned all the clinics and knew they'd be closed, and found the closest one that would be open, so got us the phone number and address. We went there and charter by this time was hardly responding and couldn't string words together. We got inside and he said he was going to puke, so i took him to the bathroom and he was passing out as i was holding him over the toilet. His little body was puking, but he wasn't even awake. The doctor called him in right away and told us he was suffocating and to take him to emerg of the rocky view hospital just down the road & they would fax his info. We got there, and he was still not really responding and his blood oxygen was really low. They gave him back to back doses of ventalin and there was no change. They took chest x-rays and couldn't see much other than a bit of streaking... the doc thought it was atypical pneumonia, but wanted him admitted in a paediatric unit, so Neil took Mollen home and i went in the ambulance with Charter to another hospital to be admitted. They kept him on oxygen all night and more doses of ventalin. This morning they decided he has atypical pneumonia *and* asthma. His breathing finally slowed (not normal, but not so scary) at about 4am. We left the hospital at around 3:30 sunday afternoon. Charter seems fine ~ a little tired and out of breath. i am a bit emotional, but fine too:) "



So, i'm looking at all this information the hospital gave us about asthma, and i'm looking at the contacts and thinking... the lung association... They're one of the 46 health care charities that support embryonic stem cell research... It's heart-wrenching. They're doing a work to help children like my son ~ who was gasping for air and fading before my eyes ~ and yet this same organization is lobbying the government supporting something that is moraly and ethically abhorrent. People ~ good people ~ are donating, thinking they are helping do good work, and their offerings are going to support a frankenstein, babies for parts ideology that they would never support if it wasn't disguised as the 'canadian lung association' at the door. We need to be so careful where we put our money. People look at you sideways when you say "no" to:

Acoustic Neuroma Association of Canada
Allergy/Asthma Information Association
Alzheimer Society of Canada
Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis Society of Canada (ALS Canada)
Asthma Society of Canada
Canadian AIDS Society
Canadian Breast Cancer Network
Canadian Cancer Society
Canadian Celiac Association
Canadian Child Care Federation
Canadian Cystic Fibrosis Foundation
Canadian Diabetes Association
Canadian Down Syndrome Society
Canadian Hemochromatosis Society
Canadian Hemophilia Society
Canadian Institute of Child Health
Canadian Lung Association
Canadian Marfan Association
Canadian Mental Health Association
Canadian Organization for Rare Disorders (CORD)
Canadian Palliative Care Association
Canadian Porphyria Foundation Inc.
Canadian Public Health Association
Childhood Cancer Foundation – Candlelighters Canada
Easter Seals/March of Dimes National Council
Epilepsy Canada
Heart and Stroke Foundation of Canada
Hepatitis C Society of Canada
Huntington Society of Canada
Kidney Foundation of Canada (The)
Lupus Canada
Multiple Sclerosis Society of Canada
Muscular Dystrophy Association of Canada
National M.E./F.M. Action Network
National Network for Mental Health
Osteoporosis Society of Canada
Parkinson Society Canada
Psoriasis Society of Canada
The Canadian Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths
Sleep/Wake Disorders Canada
Spina Bifida and Hydrocephalus Association of Canada
The Arthritis Society
Thalassemia Foundation of Canada
Thalidomide Victims Association of Canada
Thyroid Foundation of Canada
Tourette Syndrome Foundation of Canada
YMCA Canada

but we can't be willing participants in this culture of death. If we can take a stand now, and say "no, my life, my child's life, my parent's life, is not worth the cost involved in the murder and canibalization of tiny, created in the image of God human beings" ~ we will be taking a stand for the future of our children's souls ~ which in my opinion, is so much more important than finding a cure for asthma.

paige

i've been working so hard on the website. You know, there's a big part of me that wonders if i like creating busy work for myself... or if there is any way that actions that we take... actually have an impact. i *know* that the biggest impact that i will probably ever have is the way i raise my little ones ~ and there is comfort in the knowledge that my life spent nurturing is valuable. i love being a mom.

My website is up... sparse, but coming along...
http://www.sojourners.ca

This is interesting. My sister Steph found it and forwarded it to me.


http://www.vcn.bc.ca/~whatsup/RoeWade.html

Keep 'Roe v Wade' legal Contest
Press Release from RPRC (Reduce Preterm Risk Cltn.) 7 March 2006
Keep 'Roe v Wade' legal Contest (with a $10,000 prize)
There is a large 'loophole' in the 22 Jan. 1973 'Roe v Wade'
U.S. Supreme Court decision making elective abortion 'legal';
This same loophole applies to the Canadian 'Morgentaler' ruling.
Elective 'terminations' that are not in a patient's best inter-
est are still not legal! 'So what', since abortions are 'safe'?
In 1997 the top Scandinavian journal in the field of women's
health reported that in the 12 months after an induced abortion,
such women had 252% higher relative TOTAL risk of dying compared
to women who delivered. (Acta Obstet Gyn Scand 1997;76:651-657)
This study must be countered with a study showing significantly
lower total one year death risk to women who have abortions com-
pared to women who delivered. If we knew of such a study, we
would not be holding this contest.
The $10,000 contest ("Keep 'Roe v Wade' legal") in brief:
Prize
Amount: $10,000 (U.S.) or 10 one ounce gold coins (Canadian
Maple Leafs); the winner chooses all cash or all coins
Who Wins: The FIRST (there can only be ONE (1) winner) person
to mail RPRC a copy of a significant study showing
lower 12 month TOTAL death risk for U.S. women with
elective abortions compared to women who carried to
term; (the study must be in the English language)
EMAIL entries will NOT be accepted.
Offered by: RPRC (Reduce Preterm Risk Cltn.)
3456 Dunbar St. (146)
Vancouver, Canada V6S 2C2
Deadline for
entries: 22 January 2007 (34th anniversary of 'Roe v Wade')
Contest
details: See the Appendix to this press release for details
(Contest rules at: www.vcn.bc.ca/~whatsup/RoeWade.html )
.....
If, indeed, elective 'terminations' of pregnancy protect women's
health, let's help keep this procedure safe and legal. This contest
is 'for real' and a winner, if a copy of a valid study meeting the
criteria set out in the Appendix is received by RPRC before 22 January
2007, will receive his/her $10,000 (U.S.) first (and only) prize.
...................................................................
Appendix: Contest Rules for the "Keep 'Roe v Wade' legal Contest"
7 March 2006
1. Prize amount: $10,000 (U.S.) to the FIRST person to provide
RPRC with a copy of the required study; there can only be
one winner.
2. Eligibility: Any citizen of any country over the age of
18 years.
3. All decisions by RPRC judges are FINAL.
4. The study must adhere to the following criteria:
a. Achieved statistical significance in finding lower ALL-CAUSE
(i.e. TOTAL) death risk for United States women with legal
elective abortions compared to women who delivered newborn
in the TWELVE months after 'the end of pregnancy'.
b. Was published in a peer-reviewed ENGLISH language medical
journal after Jan. 22, 1980 and before Jan. 22, 2002.
c. Must not have later had its finding of significantly lower
death risk retracted by one or more of the study's authors or
by the journal in which the study was first published.
d. Must not exclude any death category. E.G. 'maternal mortality'
studies that exclude deaths via accidents, homicide, suicide,
or cancer are NOT ALL-CAUSE death studies and are not eligible.
e. Design of study: must have used a registry of induced abortions
to ascertain whether women had elective abortions; (New York
state has such a registry and thus, such a study could have
been done there). Also, must have at least 250,000 subjects
in the study; (the 1997 study of Finnish women had well over
500,000 women subjects in it).
5. Tie entries
If more than one entry satisfies the criteria for the winning
entry (see points 2-4 above) and the postmarks have the same
date, a random draw of those entries will determine the ONE
winner. Assuming that there is no such 'tie', the earliest
postmarked entry meeting all the criteria wins. There is only
one prize and the maximum number of winners is ONE (!).
6. All letters sent to RPRC become the property of RPRC and will
not be returned.
................................................................
RPRC (Reduce Preterm Risk Cltn.)
3456 Dunbar St. (146)
Vancouver, Canada
V6S 2C2
Feedback

The following link could help many make better (more ethical) decisions about immunizations. i know many people are unaware that some immunizations are derived from fetal cell lines from aborted babies. Neil and i made a decision long ago based mainly on this knowledge to stay away from immunizations. i know this can be a volatile subject, but it's worth exploring. Many of the ethical alternatives to these vaccines are not available in Canada.
http://www.cogforlife.org/canadianvaccines.htm

"borrowing" letters to save time ... i just added on a greeting (this) and sent my 'letter to Ralph Klein' to my MP.
Hi, Chris!
i've been meaning to write you a note since you got elected, but haven't had a chance. Congratulations on your victory. i am a stay at home mom in Sexsmith and i wanted to write you a note to let you know that our family as well as many other families in your constituency support the Choice in Childcare proposal.
i am attaching a letter i recently wrote to Premier Ralph Klein on the subject of publicly funded day care ~ or daycare subsidies. I'm not a big believer in daycare, and when i heard that Stephen Harper was introducing a proposal to allow parents to choose how to spend their childcare money and that parents could use it to stay home, i was greatly heartened. Already over the years, we have been penalized by a tax system that does not recognize the value of the stay at home parent, and when the government was going to take another chunk of our tax dollars to fund yet another program that is offensive to us, it was depressing. This is one way that you could use taxpayers money to make it easier for moms to choose to stay home.
Thank you for considering my letter.
paige beselt
beselt@cablerocket.com

Letter to Stephen Harper... interesting thinking, do letters make a difference? i wonder... Anyway, you'll notice i borrowed some lines from myself (my other letter to Mel Knight...) but i guess, if a line is worth writing, it's usually worth repeating:)
p

Rt. Hon. Stephen Harper, P.C., M.P.
Prime Minister of Canada
cc Jason Kenney MP Calgary SE
Monday, April 10, 2006

Mr. Harper,
Today my husband and I received in the mail a thank you letter for our personal support of you and of the Conservative Party. It was our pleasure to be involved in this great accomplishment and I want to take this opportunity to express my congratulations for your victory on January 23rd.
The reason I am writing you a letter today is that you’ve asked for our continued support, and while I am confident that there is no alternative to the Conservative Party and that you have proven your leadership ability to us during the campaign, I have some reservations that I wanted to share with you at this time.
I am a young (29) house wife. I stay at home and care for and homeschool our 5 young children. Now before you marginalize me because of the obvious box that I’ve put myself in, I want to paint you a little picture of your election campaign. During the campaign, more times than I can count I found myself in debate with people older, smarter, and wiser than myself. Because of the way you were depicted by the media, sometimes these people said “it’ll never happen… The conservatives will never win and Stephen Harper doesn’t have a hope…” I disagreed vehemently, and although we don’t know each other, Mr. Harper, I stuck up for you. I told them how you carried yourself so intelligently in interviews, how I was sure that you would find a way to win votes in the east and how you would then create a government without corruption that would stick up for Canadians. Your platform was full of achievable, honest goals and it seemed to me, that most of the men and women running for you were people with vision and integrity.
I believe that the reason that you were elected was because of people like me. I may not be smart, or ripened with age and wisdom, but Mr. Harper, I’m passionate. I believe that it’s the people in this country who are passionate who elected you.
Warning bells began to go off for me when you were asked about abortion and I heard you say that this was an issue you weren’t even willing to address because there were so many more issues that were more important. By saying that, you did take a stand. Canada’s laws on abortion are outrageous (specifically that there is no legal protection for a baby up until the moment of it’s birth). Canadians, whether they are for or against abortion at the end of the day, have to live with the knowledge that their tax dollars fund this procedure ~ whether it’s in the first trimester or the third. In the case of minors, there is no law of notification for parents. Mr. Harper, I want to make sure it’s clear that for us, it's not an issue to have more dollars in our pockets at the end of the day, but we find it horrifying that the abortions that are taking place in this province and country *daily* are funded by my husband's tax dollars. We have worked hard to be able to live on one income so that i can stay home and care for our children. To have our tax dollars funding something that is morally abhorrent to us puts us in a painful position. We’re forced to go against our consciences by paying taxes to fund a procedure that destroys human life. Interestingly, most Albertans agree with me, (see http://www.lifecanada.org/). Mr. Harper, the information that i read stated that if non-medically necessary abortions were deinsured in Alberta alone that it would save the tax funded system a minimum of $8 million dollars a year. That's an awful lot of non-medically necessary abortions, don't you think? In a perfect world, parents would be willing to die to save their young. Instead, we live in a culture that kills it's young for convenience. God save us.
Mr. Harper, the people who elected you are a passionate bunch. Not just about the dollars and cents wasted and thieved from our pockets by a crooked liberal government, but even more so, we’re passionate about our faith, the sanctity of life and a government that will not sell out and accommodate for 4 years ~ forgetting the values that got them elected in the first place. I encourage you now as you have an incredible opportunity to leave your fingerprints on the history of this country. Be passionate, have faith and do what’s right.
Paige Beselt
Calgary SE (McKenzie Towne)
paige@sojourners.ca

i just read this article about Terri Schiavo. We can't be silent on these issues... There is far too much at stake. i heard so many christians who were misinformed during the whole fight for Terri's life arguing in favour of her death. Let's gently and lovingly speak truth to christians and to the world about *life* and it's value ~ and God's role in the giving and taking of it...

http://www.family.org/cforum/news/a0040014.cfm
http://www.terrisfight.org/
http://www.family.org/cforum/fosi/bioethics/facts/a0027736.cfm

A couple of updates. We got our money pulled from any pharmaceutical companies... i know my personal boycott might not make an impact, but to me, every time we choose to believe that our actions will not change anything, i am reminded that i need to act in obedience to what Jesus would have me do and HE can worry about changing hearts and this world.
The second update has to do with the Canadian Diabetes Association. They phoned again the other day to ask for some volunteer time on the phones. i got a chance to share with the lady who phoned me why i could no longer support this particular organization. We had a really good conversation and she said that she could understand and respect where i was coming from. i want to make the most of every opportunity to speak truth.
p

Mr. Knight,
i am a stay at home mom living in Sexsmith, Alberta. i wanted to write you a note on a topic that is very important to me and to many other Albertans across the province. i was recently reading the results of a poll taken among Albertans about legal protection for the unborn that you may or may not have read. The results of the poll are available at this site: http://www.lifecanada.org/. There was so much information there that i think would be useful to someone in your positions who is trying to help good decisions to be made. i had also read recently, that Mr. Klein has unveiled plans for the Third Way of health care. To me, Mr. Knight, it's not an issue to have more dollars in our pockets at the end of the day, but i find it horrifying that the abortions that are taking place in this province *daily* are funded by my husband's tax dollars. We have worked hard to be able to live on one income so that i can stay home and care for our children. To have our tax dollars funding something that is morally abhorrent to us puts us in a painful position. Please help deinsure non-medically necessary abortions in Alberta. What we're asking for here is such a small thing. i'm not even asking for a complete ban on abortions, or for a law against abortions, but don't force tax payers to go against their consciences by paying taxes to fund a procedure that destroys human life. Most Albertans agree with me, Mr. Knight. Those that don't would have the freedom to donate their own dollars to funding abortion clinics if they chose to. Mr. Knight, the information that i read stated that if non-medically necessary abortions were deinsured that it would save the tax funded system a minimum of $8 million dollars a year. That's an awful lot of non-medically necessary abortions, don't you think? In a perfect world, parents would be willing to die to save their young. Instead, we live in a culture that kills it's young for convenience.
God save us.
paige

Ugh, i'm so tired, but these things keep coming to me. i want so badly to do what is right even if i have to put a microscope to my life.
All of a sudden, i'm thinking about our mutual funds, and where they're invested and i'm wondering, are *they* helping with embryonic stem cell research? Are they supporting experimentation on aborted fetal tissue? Or on marketing the RU 486 pill?? So i called the guy who invests our $$ and he said that we *are* invested in pharmaceutical companies and there's no way to know that we are not investing in these things. i told him to pull all our money from any pharmaceutical companies and that Neil fully supported me. There was a big pause and he said he'll try to find out where to put it and he'd call me back. He said "ethical" funds won't cut it either because it's technically not unethical to do these things. *sigh*.
paige

oh, sweet baby.
i remember you today.
You should be 8 already.
To me you remain
~as you were~
my tiny son.
The sweet gift that was your little life
That shattered mine & left me
awake
aware
alive.
Forever changed.
Forever grateful.
Oh Jesus, the gates of Your Kingdom welcome me now like they never did.
Blessed be your name.

“The Girl I Used To Be”
She came tonight as I sat alone,
The girl I used to be . . .
And she gazed at me with her earnest eye
And questioned reproachfully:
Have you forgotten the many plans
And hopes that I had for you?
The great career, the splendid fame,
All the wonderful things to do?
Where is the mansion of stately height
With all of its gardens rare?
The silken robes that I dreamed for you
And the jewels in your hair?
And as she spoke, I was very sad
For I wanted her pleased with me . . .
This slender girl from the shadowy past,
The girl that I used to be.
So gently rising, I took her hand,
And guided her up the stair
Where peacefully sleeping, my babies lay
Innocent, sweet, and fair.
And I told her that these are my only gems,
And precious they are to me;
That silken robe is my motherhood
Of costly simplicity.
And my mansion of stately height is love,
And the only career I know
Is serving each day in these sheltered walls
For the dear ones who come and go.
And as I spoke to my shadowy guest,
She smiled through her tears at me.
And I saw that the woman that I am now
Pleased the girl that I used to be.
Author Unknown

Another amazing website. This issue has really touched my heart. i knew that the rate of abortions where there was a diagnosis of Downs Syndrome has continued to rise, but i had no idea it was this bad.
http://www.gabrielsangelnetwork.org/body_index.html

i had an idea to have a booth at our "fun family carnival" here in GP with the heading "WHAT CAN I DO??" Then issuing a challenge to visitors to accomplish one prolife action by a deadline. After that conversation with our community educator, Michelle, i put together this list and emailed it to her. i had fun putting it together and i can't wait to add to it. I didn't include some of the ones we had written down on the phone... they included: monetary donations (maybe $5 to either APL or to VFL), letters to the premier, prime minister, our local MP or MLA, write a letter to the editor or to our office to be published in our newsletter... & i can't remember what else. They were supposed to inform us what prolife action they had taken and we would publish the good ideas and results of our challenge in our newsletter.
Here is a resource i found on the web... similar idea:
http://www.noelforlife.org/resources/readarticle.asp?number=199&topic=&display=
here's another one... i'm sure there are a ton out there...

http://www.priestsforlife.org/brochures/threesimpleactivities.htm

Here is my first little list... if you are reading this, consider it my personal challenge to *you* to accomplish *one* prolife thing this month. One voice can make a difference (if you don't believe me, read "Horton Hears a Who" by Dr. Seuss:)




*visit an old folks home (you could sing ~ or just visit or play cards)
*buy a baby gift for a family you don't know very well.
*Tell each of your children the story of their birth.
*Spend 10 minutes in prayer for our nation and it's anti-life stance
*Read at least 7 of the following scriptures:
Gen. 1:27 Psalm 100:3 Ezekiel 18:4 Isaiah 64:8 Corinthians 6:19-20
Deut. 32:39 1 Sam 2:6 Exodus 20:13 Gen. 9:5 Exodus 21:22-25 Hebrews 4:13
Lev. 18:21 Lev. 20:1-5 Deut. 19:10 2 Kings 24:2-4 Gen.4:10 Psalm 72:12-14
Prov. 6:16-19 Ezekiel 35:6
Matt 8:10 Luke 18:16 Matt. 18:14 Psalm 127:3-4
Psalm 82:3-4 Proverbs 24 11-12 Proverbs 31:8-9 James 4:17 Jer. 21:12 Matt.25:31-46

(Michelle, i used the scriptures that i found in the appendix of that book i gave you by Randy Alcorn _Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions_ pg.97-100

*Educate yourself on embryonic stem cell research in Canada
http://www.parl.gc.ca/common/bills_ls.asp?Parl=37&Ses=2&ls=c13

*Find out which charities you support are supporting embryonic stem cell research: http://www.healthcharities.ca/en/2002_HCCC_Brief_Health_Cmttee.pdf

*Decide to have another baby!

*Do research and find the answers to these 3 questions:
a.) What is the legal limit for abortions in Canada?
b.) What year was abortion legalized in Canada?
c.) How many abortions do your tax dollars fund each year?
(Michelle, you could probably think of better questions than these...)

*Walk by our hospital with a friend and pray for all the new mommas and babies born in GP.

*Send a card to support someone you've seen defending the weak and helpless by volunteering for a prolife cause.
(perhaps you could commit to praying for this person as they're following through on something you see as vitally important...)

*Do a bottle drive for VFL.

*Enter our prolife artwork contest... (ummm... just made that one up ~ thinking of the Knights of Columbus prolife calendars and thinking we could do something like that...) ~ was trying to think of something a child could do... My 9yo wrote a letter to APL and sent them her $12 in pop can money:)

*visit Randy Alcorn's website and read an article.
http://www.epm.org/

*post a comment on APL's blogsite http://www.albertaprolife.com/

*read a copy of "The Rose" from cover to cover.

Michelle, i think it's important to have a timeline for this challenge... Say by Sept 1st ~ They could phone the office and tell what they did or they can mail in the tear off portion of our sheet and send it in. Tell them we're hoping to have 100 prolife actions take place in GP by Sept 1st 2006 (or something like that). Follow up after the carnival by putting a challenge in church bulletins and update the churches every second week as to how many people have taken the challenge. Encourage people to be creative and to send us their suggestions to add to our "100 things to do to be prolife" ~ and we could publish these in our newsletter.
~ i know you had some others that we came up with over the phone... hope this helps:)
paige

Hi Paige! I thought you'd be interested in this one :)...
I thought about what you said about not wanting legislation that's not protecting *every* child, and while i agree that that's what i'd like - i think i would still like to see legislation of some sort in Canada - at least then, *some* children wouldn't be killed... i.e. no third trimester abortions, or partial birth abortions (particularly lucrative since the organs are fully formed, and large, and command a hefty price...) We would still save *some* lives - much like "Schindler's List" - he couldn't help ALL of the Jews, but he at least tried to save some, and that was worth it...

stephanie

Thanks for reminding me about the HP - and i know you're right about sticking to the hard line... and plus, once we "settle" for something like this (that FOTF tells us to rejoice about) - it makes it, i think, almost spiritually impossible for us to get any more... i.e. we lose moral authority.... then again, look at the huge inertia about abortion, too...

stephanie


----- Original Message -----
Sent: Monday, January 16, 2006 1:46 PM
Subject: RE: embryonic stem cell research...

i'm emailing you a link to a page that listed over 40 charities that supported that bill... it's *not* ok ~ & because we're not even talking about it in the church, in 10 years, Cairo will ask me "mom, why is embryonic stem cell research something that is condoned by the church? Why didn't your generation stand up and say anything about it back then?"
paige
p.s. i'm not willing to say that it's ok at any stage, just to get legislation that protects *some*. They always want us to come to some sort of "compromise" in which we lose the whole battle because it becomes some sort of crazy "when does life begin?" question.. i'd rather just stand firm and say "it's *never* ok. Even if we get marginalized in the process ~ & even if it means we don't get any laws.

From: stephanie
Sent: Monday, January 16, 2006 12:38 PM
Subject: Re: embryonic stem cell research...

Paige, you probably did write on this one - i know i did... And it wasn't as bad as it *could* have been... What charities condoned this? The thing is, they have to make legislation on it otherwise we're in the same situation as abortion - no laws at all... and at least a lot of stuff is prohibited, although they can still make babies to "show how" and then kill them, or make them to experiment on for 14 days... you're right... canada is sick... I remember Focus on the Family felt that we had had an influence - but they also said that with the no spanking law... and i felt that it was still an eroding factor on parental rights and responsibility...

stephanie


----- Original Message -----
To: 'stephanie
Sent: Monday, January 16, 2006 11:54 AM
Subject: embryonic stem cell research...

Oh, Steph... this is horrible. The government gave up control... and i didn't write one letter back then.... or do one thing. i've donated to charities who have condoned and supported this atrocity... i just did some reading today and am totally convicted.
http://www.parl.gc.ca/common/bills_ls.asp?Parl=37&Ses=2&ls=c13
How could i be so lazy?
paige

Here's a link to a list of 46 charity organizations in Canada that support embryonic stem cell research.

http://www.healthcharities.ca/en/2002_HCCC_Brief_Health_Cmttee.pdf

wow. The Canadian Diabetes Association phoned this morning to see if they could come and pick up any old clothes, or household items, and i said "i have to think about it". Now, i've given to them more times than i can count. Diabetes has affected our family in a very real way, but this morning in my devotions with the girls, we had prayed for God to reveal our sin to us. i hung up the phone and went to the computer. i knew what i was looking for and found so many articles showing the link and support between the Canadian Diabetes Association and embryonic stem cell research. i looked up Bill C-13 on the internet and as i read through lists of "prohibited" and "controlled" activities, my heart sank. i had been supporting an organization that showed a complete disregard for life at it's most fragile beginnings. Instead of being willing to die for our young, we're prepared to kill and cannibalize them for our benefit. Oh God, forgive my complacency. Forgive my hard heart. Help me to do what's right. Let my life bring glory to You.

 

It ain't over 'till the fat lady sings...
The fat lady's singin' :)
Newpro Wanham is informing the employees today that it is shutting down. Keep us in your prayers as we seek God's direction. Neil will still have work for a bit (it'll be a big process to shut down properly and possibly auctioning off etc...) and he won't get his severance if he doesn't stick it out till the end, so there are timing issues at play in this process. We are not discouraged or worried and i'm hoping Neil will get a chance to work in a company that is not struggling to survive! That would be nice! It has been really neat in my prayer life since Thursday night, every time i would begin to pray, i could hear in my head "The Lord Reigns" and i would pray for Neil or my family, or this country and i would hear before every person and item on my prayer list "The Lord Reigns". i think now that maybe He was preparing me for yesterday and i feel comforted by the fact that He is Lord of my life, and Lord over these circumstances. While praying with Cai and Sloan yesterday i told them that i felt that Jesus was saying to me "I am King" and Sloanie quoted "He is King of Kings and Lord of Lords" and Cairo quoted after her "and with him will be his called, chosen and faithful followers." i didn't know that verse, but they told me it's in Revelation 17:14. This also is confirmation that He hears our prayers and He is in control.:) God is good.
paige

my second letter to Ralph Klein after his response that Alberta is not a one size fits all province...

August 25th 2005

The Honourable Ralph Klein
Premier of Alberta
307 Legislature Building
108 00 - 97th Avenue
Edmonton, AB
T5K 2B7

Dear Mister Premier,

I appreciate so much your response to both my letter, and that of my daughter, Cairo. She was so pleased to get a note from you saying that her letter was “wonderful”.

The reason I am writing you a second letter is that I found the first paragraph of your response a little confusing. While I agree that a one-size-fits-all approach is not something that is going to work in Alberta, I’m concerned that the initiatives being provided could encourage parents to choose financial gain over what would be best for their family (and frankly, society at large). I remember as a little girl, asking my mom if she would baby sit for me when I was a momma. She responded that she would not. When I asked her “why”, she responded “I wouldn’t deprive you of the joy.” Now that I am a momma, I know that she was speaking in love.

I don’t want to be ignorant, Mr. Klein, and I know that there are some circumstances where it seems it is impossible for a parent to be at home with the children. After reading your letter, I looked at the programs that you touted as Alberta’s “high quality, innovative programs and services”. The first is the Child Care Accreditation Program. The fact that such a program is even necessary shows that parents are willing to drop their kids off at any facility that will take them. When did it cease to be the responsibility of the parent, and become the responsibility of the government to ensure high quality care? The second program, the Kin Child Care Program, which at first glance looks like a great alternative to struggling single moms or others that are in a position where there is no other alternative, on closer inspection has limitations that are restrictive at best. The relative caregiver cannot reside in the family’s home, the child has to be pre-school age, so this excludes any homeschooling families, and the parent has to use this childcare for a minimum of 50 hours per month, so a momma who is willing to work less to be home with her children is penalized by such a program. The third service mentioned was the Parent Link Centres. While this is not directly related to my concerns as it is not a childcare program, I wonder how much of what is provided by the Centres would be redundant if more mothers stayed at home and encouraged and supported each other?

I guess my confusion, mentioned above, with your first paragraph is specifically with this quote “…(Alberta) is committed to ensuring that this government can continue to provide parents with quality, flexibility, and choice.” It seems to me that the ‘quality’ childcare referred to is exclusively non-parent child care. It seems to me that the ‘flexibility’ referred to is exclusively the flexibility to be able to work and have funded childcare. It seems to me that the ‘choice’ being offered is more of an incentive to get more momma’s out of the house. My hope is that as these decisions are made, we can come up with initiatives to keep more mommas with their children, so they too are not deprived of this joy.

Sincerely,

Paige

Stephanie's response to Annie Crawford's blog about Above Rubies:)
Hi Annie - i love that you are willing to read and then analyze and then debate :) - I think your problem with the FQ mindset is that you see the most rabid expression... You can see that some of Nancy Campbell's points are perhaps interpreted too forcefully (and i have the books, and have to agree about some of the ones you chose to quote) - however, just because a Bible verse doesn't refer *only* or *primarily* to physical fruitfulness, doesn't mean that it doesn't refer to physical fruitfulness *at all*. The way i see the FQ lifestyle (and we're not 100% there, either - i'm expecting my sixth child, and my husband, as always, is threatening that this is really the last time :)... but i kind of doubt it - he is turning into a real softy daddy) - it's an extension of a metaphor that is a beacon of light in our culture. Christ and the Church - fruitfulness from intimacy. Do we want intimacy without the fruit? Sometimes it seems we do, with overwhelming displays of public worship, concerts, Bible studies, and precious little service to those around us, and especially to our own brothers and sisters... There is something masturbatory about that kind of religious experience, and those outside the church instinctively recoil from a faith that isn't lived out. In the same way, a marriage reflects this union of Christ and His Church - and the intimacy of the marriage is reflected in the fruit that results. It's a beautiful parable, and an opportunity for sharing about what life in Christ *should* be... not just about having babies, but about being willing to sacrifice sometimes, to be inconvenienced, to *not* be in the spotlight, so that He can grow His beautiful fruit in our lives, while we remain in a hidden place, learning patience, self control, kindness, gentleness. This view of FQ also, i believe, gives one interpretation to that vexatious verse about women "being saved through childbirth" - we are saved through the birth of Jesus, but i think oftentimes God uses our experiences as mothers to purify and refine us, as we learn to listen to His voice to raise the little ones HE has trusted us with...

I love that you are reading and thinking and i'd love to hear any comments you have (or any errors you find!) ...

much love, stephanie

To The Honourable Heather Forsyth,
My letter was printed in the GP Herald Tribune on July 22nd 2005. It was suggested to me to forward the letter to you as you are the minister of children's services. Here it is.
Sincerely,
Paige

July 21, 2005

The Honourable Ralph Klein
Premier of Alberta
307 Legislature Building
108 00 - 97th Avenue
Edmonton, AB
T5K 2B7

Dear Mister Premier:
I am a stay at home, home schooling mom of five living in Northern Alberta. My daughter wanted to write you a thank you letter for her centennial medallion, so I thought I’d add my two cents worth as well.
Last night, as my daughter was getting ready for bed, she came out and whispered “Mom, it makes me feel important that the Government of Alberta sent me something.” I responded that she was right in feeling important – because she is important. In your letter, you told my daughtors that they were the future of Alberta. This got me thinking about the importance of future Albertans. Our family moved to Northern Alberta because we wanted to find a place where our growing family could live on one income. We did this so that I could stay at home to care for and shape the character of our children. My goal is to instill in my children a love of God and of family. My vision for my children includes a strong character and work ethic. In the past 9 years as I have grown into motherhood, I have realized one thing for sure – No one cares about my children the way that I do. To be honest, if we couldn’t afford to live on one income, we’d change the way we live, we’d move, we’d live on macaroni and cheese before we’d accept a government subsidy for daycare. Our children’s character and moral development is that important to us.
Mr. Premier, in considering how to spend taxpayer’s money, please try to make it easier for us moms to choose to stay home. Daycare should be a last resort. Motherhood is a sacred calling and those who lay down careers for it should be commended.
If you truly value the future of Alberta, value those who are willing to sacrifice for it.

Sincerely,


Paige

i had a couple of moments this morning that i wish i would remember for when i'm in the nursing home, but i think before my head hits the pillow tonight, they'll be gone. i was folding the laundry this morning and i pulled out this huge long pair of track pants... they're Cairo's... it was just so amazing to think that i am the momma of this beautiful young lady and i felt so incredibly blessed by a silly pair of track pants. Then, i was sweeping out under my bed. i had to laugh as Mollen was lying down on the floor beside my bed (she was almost ready for morning nap, but she also was down there to see what i'd sweep out.) Besides the dust bunnies, there was a tiny horse, a piece of lego, a little bath ducky and a baby barrette. Again, i thought how lucky i am to have the little people that collect all these little things. i love when you're doing nothing out of the ordinary, and God puts your life in perspective and all you feel is grateful.
p

in response to a pulled pro life ad...
Mr. Forsyth,
I am writing in regards to the ad that was pulled from a bus shelter in Edmonton. I am a mother in Alberta who volunteers with a Prolife organization that focuses on education. One of the problems with abortion, that has become a growing concern for people in the health care profession is the regret often faced by women who have had abortions. These women, suffering from post-abortion trauma, often experience symptoms including depression, guilt, anger, eating disorders, suicidal urges, drug and alcohol abuse, difficulty with relationships... the list goes on. This billboard was funded by an organization that cares about women, and is offering hope. Seems sad to me that it was pulled because of complaints from people who may not have understood the intent of the advertisement.
Thank you for taking the time to read my email.
Sincerely,
Paige

well, it's new years, so i called Pastor Brian... the second name on my list of names from Pastor Lyndon. He is the pastor of a really cool country church out by Webster Road, close to Sexsmith. He offered to come to my house as he was going that way and brought 2 of his little homeschooled girls with to play with mine. The discussion went pretty much as the discussion went with Pastor Lyndon. He was encouraging and prayed with/for me at the end. He didn't agree with everything, but was sort of open and was a kind listener. He told me that his church is looking at what they can do for teen moms. i told him about Lindsay and he agreed that we need to do more to be a community of believers who help mamma's keep their babies... i also printed off my testimony that i sent to Melody Green... don't know what he'll think of that. Well, 2 more names and then it's back to pastor lyndon... meanwhile, still taking notes for the 'life affirming sunday'. Love you!
paige

Dear Betty,
I love that your response to me was to seek the Lord. My concern is that we don't take into consideration that the Lord has already made His desires clear to us on some issues. Our God is a God that loves increase. I *can* however respect the fact that your organization has taken the position that the Bible is unclear on this topic. My goal is not to change minds, but to speak truth... And I do join with you in the prayer that there will be change under the influence of the Holy Spirit.
Much Love,
Paige

Dear Betty,
I appreciate so much that you took the time to respond to my email. I truly wasn't expecting a response. I wasn't aware that Last Days Ministries had a "statement" on this topic:) and I'm so glad that it's something being thought about and prayed about more often.
I did have one other comment right now, and would it be alright if I wrote you again with further information if it comes up? I read your email a couple of times before it really hit me. In the second paragraph of Melody's letter, the first sentence read:
"It seems the central issue for Christians in using birth control is whether doing so is not "trusting the Lord."
I don't think that this is the central issue for me. The central issue for me is one of the heart. We live in a humanist society and *life* is daily devalued. My concern is that I believe that our hearts are hard towards children. If children are really a blessing, and if we believed Malachi 2:15 "Hast not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are His. And why one? Because He was seeking godly offspring" ... Then wouldn't using birth control be the exception and not the rule? My little ones are growing up in a Christian community where if they go to premarital counseling, the question will probably come up "What form of birth control will you be using?" This hard heartedness and acting on the belief that children are an avoidable affliction and not blessings from God ~(maybe having in mind the things of man and not the things of God? Mark 8:33 )...*this* would be the real issue for me...
Lovingly,
Paige

Dear Paige,
Greetings in the precious name of Jesus!
First, I wouldn't mind at all if you wrote from time to time. Dialogue between Christians is always edifying.
Regarding Melody's first sentence: "It seems the central issue for
Christians in using birth control is whether doing so is not "trusting the Lord." -- This was a reflection of the letters we received on the subject of birth control. Most of the people who contact our ministry are seeking God's best and that was the question foremost on their minds. It is sad that your experience in Christian communities has been so worldly and you are probably right in your estimation of how our humanist society has affected many church groups. We can only pray with you that this attitude will change under the influence of the Holy Spirit.
The main point of our response is to seek the Lord as a Christian couple. A heart of obedience to God's will and guidance is always the main issue, as that is what our journey with Him is all about.
Blessings,
Betty
LDM

Dear Paige,
Hi! My name is Betty and I'm responding to your letter on behalf of Melody who, due to her busy schedule and family responsibilities, is not able to personally respond to all the mail addressed to her. It really blesses all of us to know that God is using Melody's book to inspire people into a closer walk with Himself. Thanks so much for taking the time to share a little bit about yourself and how God is working in your life. Your words of encouragement were used by the Lord to minister back to us. We really appreciate it when people like you take the time to write and share their heart.
Regarding birth control, there is no doubt that we wholeheartedly support every Christian family to have children. It’s inconceivable to me that someone who professes Christianity would prevent having a family for totally selfish reasons. We have received many letters over the years asking about birth control and we answer each one on a personal level. Melody has sent out a letter which is still very much her opinion on the subject which I will recapitulate for you.
"This is an important issue facing Christian couples today, wondering whether God is releasing them to use some form of birth control, and if so, what method. As the Bible is unclear on the subject, we feel this is a decision each couple needs to come to individually between themselves and God, since we don't know you personally nor what the Lord is trying to work into your lives.
It seems the central issue for Christians in using birth control is whether doing so is not "trusting the Lord." We don't feel it is unscriptural or shows a lack of trust in God's sovereignty to employ a safe, non-abortive form of birth-control within a marriage. God tells us to "Be fruitful and multiply"
(Gen. 1:28) and we believe it is His will for marriage to be blessed with children in most cases. The Bible also reminds us that children are a gift from God
-- a reward, and "happy is the man who has his quiver full of them" (Psalm
127:3,5). As we can see from the great number of couples desparately eager to
adopt, there is a deep desire within most people to have a family.
However, God does not tell us in the Bible how many children we should have in our lifetime or exactly when we should have them. We believe that God in His wisdom will instruct each one of us individually in these matters, with our ultimate best in mind, as we diligently seek Him in prayer as to when we should start our family and how big it should be. It's important for you to seek the Lord and be obedient to whatever He speaks to you and your spouse as the Word tells us: "The faith which you have, have as your own conviction before God... and whatever is not from faith is sin" (Rom. 14:22). Whatever your conviction, you should act on it, but it's also important to respect those whom God is leading otherwise.
If you do feel the Lord is releasing you and your spouse to use some form of birth control, we encourage you to investigate each method thoroughly to find out how it works. Some methods actually cause abortions by not allowing an already fertilized egg to implant itself in the womb. We'd like to briefly mention several methods that have that capacity.
For example the Intra-uterine Device (IUD) is a very common form of birth-control, but not many really understand how it works, or that it causes very early abortions. What it does is create a hostile environment in the woman's womb
-- an environment where it is virtually impossible for the already fertilized egg to implant itself in the wall of the uterus. In other words, the IUD does not prevent conception (pregnancy) from occurring -- it merely makes it impossible for that pregnancy to continue. The already fertilized egg, when unable to implant itself in the uterus, is flushed out with the woman's normal monthly menstrual cycle. When using an IUD, a woman could be aborting a fertilized egg every month without even being aware of it. We have always strongly opposed the use of any "morning after" pill or injection.
There has been some controversy over the safety of using birth control pills, as there is concern that the chemicals they are composed of could cause a woman to abort an already fertilized egg. We also wanted to point out a quote that's found in the literature included with almost all (perhaps all) of the pills available today: "Although the primary mechanism of action is inhibition of ovulation, alterations in the genital tract, including changes in the cervical mucus (which increases the difficulty of sperm penetration) and the endometrium (which reduces the likelihood of implantation), may also contribute to contraceptive effectiveness." The "inhibition of ovulation" is keeping your body from releasing an egg, which is the general explanation given for how the pill works. The "alterations in the...endometrium (which reduce the likelihood of implantation)" means the pill changes the lining of your uterus to actually make it more difficult for a fertilized egg to implant, which is abortion in its earliest stages. The makers of the pill are acknowledging here that this may be an additional "safeguard" against pregnancy. There doesn't seem to be a way to prove or disprove whether this happens, as the embryo would be flushed out during the menstrual cycle without the woman knowing she'd aborted it.
Most doctors will assure women the pill is not abortive, but we just haven't found any evidence to support this kind of a blanket statement. It may be many are uninformed; it may also be in some cases their definitions of "abortion"
may differ from what we believe is true. From the understanding we have based on the information we've gathered, there does seem to be very real possibility that the pill (any pill) could be abortive, and for this reason we don't feel we can recommend the pill as a form of birth control.
There are other forms of birth control that do not have the possibility of being abortive, which we would encourage you to consider using, if you feel a release from the Lord to use birth control. The diaphragm and condom both seek to make fertilization impossible by physically preventing the sperm from having access to the egg. Another form of birth control is periodically abstaining from intercourse during the time the woman is particularly fertile each month. Some believe this is the "only" scriptural form of birth control available, but we do not agree with this view. The goal of preventing a pregnancy is the same, so without using a method which could abort or possibly harm the baby, we believe it is up to each couple on how to accomplish this.
As we said before, this is something you and your spouse must both take before the Lord. You need to come to a mutual agreement so you both feel a peace about your decision before God. We trust He will speak to you as you come to Him with an open heart on this matter." Again, we do not recommend the use of birth control pills in general at this time. However, we feel that the Lord is a little more flexible about other types of birth control methods as long as there is not possibility of an already fertilized egg being aborted."

I am sure that Melody has not changed her basic stand on this. If you have additional questions and comments, please feel free to let me know.
In His grip,

Betty Daffin
Last Days Ministries

This is an email i sent to Melody Green at Last Days Ministries... it includes my testimony and i think it's relevant to how i got to where i am... p

i don't know if Melody Green ever gets emails at this address, but i wanted to write one.
i read your book "no compromise" for the first time in high school. i was born in 1976 and my parents always listened to Keith Green while i was growing up. Our family was one of those "musical" families and i sang in a trio with my two sisters all the time we were growing up. When i graduated high school, i went to a music college and took a two year program there. During my second year, i got pregnant with my oldest daughter. It was such a hard time. i decided to just bear my soul to my Saviour, accept His gracious forgiveness and go where He led. My husband and i were married 5 months before Cairo was born. We were 18 and 19 years old. Cairo was the biggest blessing you can imagine on our young lives. My husband found work 20 hours away from our extended family and we moved to a small town where i knew no one and we *really* became a family. Shortly after Cairo was born, we found out we were pregnant again. We were ecstatic. Four months into the pregnancy, we found out that there was no heart beat. The doctor's induced labour and i delivered my tiny son. i was devastated. At this time, so many people kept telling me "this is in God's hands, Paige..." and i wrote an arrangement of the song "i surrender all" and i included a last verse:

All to Jesus, i surrender,
Lord i give my child to Thee
Safely in your arms i lay him
Let your healing fall on me.

As my husband and i grappled with our loss, we found out that i was pregnant again. At this time in my marriage a new thought came to me. i had been able to trust God in my loss, but was i willing to trust God with the blessings He was giving us? i started to ask questions of just about anyone who would listen. Was birth control alright? After the birth of our third daughter, my husband wanted to be done... i just didn't feel peace. Our fourth child was a little boy, and our fifth another sweet little lady. While i was pregnant with her, my sweet husband put his foot down and said "no more". i grieved my loss and i believe God revealed to me that to give up, even our legitimate expectations on each other is good. i had prayed, and Neil had not changed. i could take what came from God.
i wanted to tell you a bit of my testimony so you could understand where my totally human, imperfect heart is coming from. i just read your book again last week. i had been talking with my dad one day and i told him that your book had been one of the biggest influences on my teen years. It was just as good as the last time i read it. i felt as challenged. For some reason i wanted to send you a letter that i am preparing to send out to the pastors in my area. You have such a huge sphere of influence, and i just wanted to write you on the off chance that this was something you might feel led to shine a spotlight on.
i want you to know, too, that even though my husband has said "no more" to me, he has given me his blessing to go on writing letters and speaking out on this issue so close to my heart. May God bless you as you speak out against abortion.
Much love,
paige

Guess what? He liked it and gave me 3 names to start with (sending it to) in the new year. The first one was the Lutheran pastor. He said it was well written. He also asked me to organize a "life affirming" Sunday in march or April... i had shown him my email to ctv and he loved it. He said he wanted stuff like that at the service to show people how the media inundates us with these anti life messages. i want you to help me brainstorm. i'm going to read Francis Schaeffer to help me prepare. He said he's curious as to how much brainwashing is going on in the church. (I think he would be shocked...) i reminded him that the brainwashing is not just coming from the secular media (i had given him that add from the Christian women's mag. about "donating" embryos). Pray with me and help me to notice things and see things and chop away the world and let Jesus be seen clearly.
paige

Second attempt... the pastor liked it better this time...

Dear Pastor,

I guess you could say this letter comes from a concerned lover of Truth. My growing concern is what I see as a cultural theme that has been creeping into the church unchecked. Francis Schaeffer said, “Tell me what the world is saying today, and I’ll tell you what the church will be saying seven years from now”. I’ve found this to be true in the church’s view on the value of *life*.

I am active in Grande Prairie’s pro-life organization, Voice for Life. I have noticed over the years of my involvement in church and in pro-life work that there seems to be among the workers in this area an overwhelming feeling of defeat and weariness. As if the battle, once fought and lost is no longer worth the effort. We live in a country where abortion is legal at any stage of pregnancy and there need be no parental notification in the case of minors. Those in the medical field have gone so far as to try to change the definition of “pregnancy” to not include the first days after conception. Every day, our views on life, the precious commodity measured out by the Creator of the universe, get skewed in the name of “mercy” and “compassion”.

Along with a demoralized pro-life movement, there is a second problem that is hindering the church’s ability to uphold the sanctity of life. Birth control, and specifically the birth control pill, something that was universally rejected by the church up until the 1930’s has been embraced. The November issue of Christianity Today had an interesting article titled “A Hard Pill to Swallow”. This article deals with the possibility (some would argue “probability”) that the birth control pill actually causes abortions. In my research, I came across an excellent resource; a book by Randy Alcorn titled “Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions?” I would encourage you to read the book with an open heart as to what God would have you teach in your premarital counseling. I would also encourage you to not stop there. It seems to me that the pro-life organizations that are active today have stopped short. I would classify them as “anti-murder” which is wonderful, but observably ineffective if they’re willing to blur the lines (or have them be blurred) for the sake of convenience. I’d like to share a quote from Randy Alcorn’s book:

“The biggest threat to Satan’s success in killing the innocent is that people become aware of the truth, then act on it. When I consider my own ignorance and lack of motivation to pursue and act on the truth that the Pill kills children, I am forced to conclude this may well be a spiritual stronghold that the evil one has on the church. Until we come to grips with, repent of and abstain from the chemical abortions we ourselves are having, I wonder how effective we will be as Christ’s representatives in general, and in particular in our efforts to prevent abortions. (Looking back, we haven’t been very successful in our efforts to curtail surgical abortions – perhaps this is one of the reasons.)”

The third issue that I feel compelled to write about, is the one that I feel is the most important out of the three that are in this letter. I believe that the solution to the first and second problems lies in the solution to the third. There has been an undeniable hardening of hearts in society, but even more disturbingly, in the church towards children. Abortion has been legal for 36 years in this country. Birth control seems to have been ushered in and popularized at roughly the same time. With this convenience came cost. It seems that as the (organized) church began to take measures to gain control of their fertility (something I believe the bible states rather explicitly is God’s territory), there began to be in the hearts of even believers, a hardening towards children. (Just ask any woman who has recently been to a baby shower if the subject came up: “I’m so glad it’s not me!”) It seems to me that even among those who know that life comes from God (Genesis 30:2); children are not viewed as a blessing, but rather as an avoidable affliction. I can imagine, even as I’m typing this letter that at this last point, I’ve lost you. I have been crying out to God for wisdom on this issue. My conclusions are based on scripture and my pitiful knowledge of my Saviour. In no way do I count myself among the learned, and I will continue to press into the word so that He can correct me and I can gain understanding (Proverbs 15:32). That said, I feel in my spirit that to remain silent on what I believe to be the root of the problem would be a compromise I’m not willing to make.
My eyes are dry, my faith is old,
My heart is hard, my prayers are cold.
And I know how I ought to be-
Alive to you and dead to me.

Oh, what can be done with an old heart like mine?
Soften it up with oil and wine!
The oil is you, your Spirit of love,
Please wash me anew in the wine of your blood…
-Keith Green

Until believer’s hearts are softened and we are able to see children as the blessing that God says that they are, I don’t think that any amount of effort poured into pro-life movements will bear fruit.

We need vision and strength and courage in our pro-life organizations. These things come from God. Please pray that God will pour out His blessings on Voice for Life as His people seek Him. Pray that this organization would be effective, and moved to action out of Love for God, and a desire to obey. Please pray that as Truth prevails, the enemy’s stronghold in this area of the church will be destroyed.
Thank you for reading my letter.
God is so good.

Paige Beselt

email in response to ctv's news story on the morning after pill...

I was so deeply disappointed with your segment on "contraception concerns" tonight on the news. My first concern was with the title of the segment. The drug in question was *not* by it's scientific description, a contraceptive drug. It was the "morning after" pill, which is by definition an abortaficient drug. Secondly, the story focused only on a woman's 'right' to access this drug without answering any questions whatsoever and also reiterated the myth that this is a completely safe drug. There was not one mention of the women who have died using this drug, or who have experienced guilt and depression and other mental and physical side effects that *can* occur from using this drug. Nor was there any rebuttal from anyone without a pro-choice agenda as to the reasoning behind getting a history before distributing the drug. Your news team proved itself unabashedly one-sided and uninformed on this issue. If it is at all possible, i would welcome a response to this email.
Paige

oh, my pastor wanted me to change the whole thing, or suggested that i do... He thought it should be better organized... Here goes round 2. i prayed and i prayed and i decided that i would do whatever Pastor said regarding the letter... so i will try. He thought it should be more about the pill... etc... he gave me an interesting article from Christianity Today?? (the billy graham publication) that was very against the pill. He wants me to try to get copies of it to distribute when i give the book out with my letter...
right now, he doesn't agree with me... believes it's a matter of conviction.... so, that's where that is... i was a little disheartened. had a good conversation. Mollen pooped twice, so it was hard to concentrate! Why am i doing this? Seems like an exercise in frustration... but i want to obey... am i obeying or making up busy work for myself???

This is the first draft i brought to my pastor... he thought it could be better written...
Dear Pastor,

I guess you could say this letter comes from a concerned lover of Truth. I am active in Grande Prairie’s prolife organization, Voice For Life. I have noticed over the years of my involvement in church and in prolife work that there seems to be among the workers in this area an overwhelming feeling of defeat and weariness. As if the battle, once fought and lost is no longer worth the effort. We live in a country where abortion is legal at any stage of pregnancy and there need be no parental notification in the case of minors. Those in the medical field have gone so far as to try to change the definition of “pregnancy” to not include the first days after conception. Every day, our views on life, the precious commodity measured out by the Creator of the universe, get skewed in the name of “mercy” and “compassion”.
I have been crying out to God for wisdom.
My conclusions on this area are based on scripture and my pitiful knowledge of my Saviour. In no way do I count myself among the learned, and I will continue to try to press into the word so that He can correct me and I can gain understanding (Proverbs 15:32). That said, I wanted to share some thoughts with you in the hope that they can be of use to you.
I have noticed that there is a cultural theme that has crept into the church unchecked. Birth control, something that was universally rejected by the church up until the 1930’s has been embraced. With this convenience came cost. It seems that as the (organized) church began to take measures to gain control of their fertility (something I believe the bible states rather explicitly is God’s territory), there began to be in the hearts of even believers, a hardening towards children. (Just ask any woman who has recently been to a baby shower if the subject came up: “I’m so glad it’s not me!”)
It seems to me that even among those who know that life comes from God (Genesis 30:2) children are not viewed as a blessing, but rather as an avoidable affliction.
In my research, I came across an excellent resource, a book by Randy Alcorn “Does The Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions?” I would encourage you to read the book with an open heart as to what God would have you teach in your premarital counseling. I would also encourage you to not stop there. It seems to me that the prolife organizations that are active today have stopped short. I would classify them as “anti-murder” which is wonderful, but observably ineffective if they’re willing to blur the lines (or have them be blurred) for the sake of convenience.
I want to end with a quote from Randy Alcorn’s book:

“The biggest threat to Satan’s success in killing the innocent is that people become aware of the truth, then act on it. When I consider my own ignorance and lack of motivation to pursue and act on the truth that the Pill kills children, I am forced to conclude this may well be a spiritual stronghold that the evil one has on the church. Until we come to grips with, repent of and abstain from the chemical abortions we ourselves are having, I wonder how effective we will be as Christ’s representatives in general, and in particular in our efforts to prevent abortions. (Looking back, we haven’t been very successful in our efforts to curtail surgical abortions – perhaps this is one of the reasons.)”

We need vision and strength and courage in our prolife organizations. These things come from God. Please pray that God will pour out His blessings on Voice For Life as His people seek Him. Pray that this organization would be effective, and moved to action out of Love for God, and a desire to obey. Please pray that as Truth prevails, the enemy’s stronghold in this area of the church will be destroyed.
Thank you for reading my letter. God is so good.

Paige Beselt

email in response to the news story of the birth of the Duggar family's 16th child:
i saw your news story on the net and was so grieved to see all the negative comments. i'm sure you're used to people giving you their opinions and i know that your eyes are focused on pleasing God and not man, but i wanted to send you a note of encouragement. i am a happy wife and mama to 5 little ones. i love to homeschool my little ones and have come to understand that each one of my children is a gift. You have a lovely family... i'm praying for God's sheltering protection on you all. May you continue to be a voice for life in this culture of death.
Much love,
Paige Beselt

Sent: Wednesday, September 21, 2005 3:53
Well, i'm home.
i'm trying to think of how that went.
My first thought was great, but then i started thinking of all that i said that was "paige" and not "God" and so i prayed that the seeds of the good stuff would take root, and that any of the weeds that i planted would wither and die.
After about 45 seconds of listening in silence, he started taking notes and asking questions. Then he asked me to bring him any information i had (i had brought all those books, so i just pulled everything out) ~ Then he asked me if i had a "pamphlet" ??! So, i said "no" and he said "i just can't see someone picking up and reading a book like this, you need something succinct to get their attention". Then he asked if he could keep all the stuff i brought and if i would call him in 2 weeks to meet again. He prayed before and after we talked.
The thing that i think got his attention was what i had said about there being a lot of depression in my peer group. i guess the church had a 'concert of prayer' while we were at the above rubies retreat and at that time, they had a prayer time to pray for healing. He said it was like popcorn, all the people battling depression. We talked for about 45 minutes...
paige

i've been waiting 2 days to start this. Pretty pathetic... too chicken to start a blog.
Neil's working and the baby is sleeping. Cairo and Sloanie are doing school and Charter and Peyton are building a fort. So, i guess i have a couple of minutes to type...
i'm 29... i've been married for almost 10 years... i have 5 little ones to raise, and still miss that little baby i lost all those years ago. Life, for me, is motherhood.
i thought i'd blog my journey in this land where we are to live as sojourners. i've been seeking God on the issue of birth control and children as a blessing vs. children as a curse. i'll start by copying some correspondence. Mostly emails to my big sister who i make proofread all my letters etc...
paige