Every once in awhile, i get this horrible, squeezing panic rise in my throat at the thought of my children being prepared for post secondary - or even more so for future careers.
Neil, thankfully, is there to assuage my fears & remind me that our children are intelligent, capable & resourceful and they will all find their niche in the world when the time comes.
Even so, as my big girl enters grade 9 this fall - her future has been coming to mind more often.
"So, Cai," i asked the other day, "You sure you don't want to go to school? Y'know, just to make it easier with transcripts for college or university entry?"
"Nope. You tryin' to get rid of me?" She grins - & looks totally confident that i've got what it takes to make sure that the prerequisites are in place and that she will be more than adequately prepared for her career of choice, midwifery.
"i sure hope they get the courses you need at Mount Royal before you graduate..."
i can't imagine sending her off somewhere far away to complete her studies...
"Or maybe you'll change your mind in the next 3 years & want to do something different..."
She looks at me, chin lowered, eyebrows raised, "i doubt it."
Funny that she's more confident than i am, or ever was.
The next day, Sloanie and i were snuggling on the couch.
"Sloanie, what do you want to do after you graduate high school?"
"Mom, is it ok if i don't want to go to college?"
"Yeah, that's totally fine - but you'll want to be prepared in case you change your mind & decide to go at the last minute... or later on."
"Yeah. Maybe i could take a computers course or something & then that would help me no matter what i decide to do..."
"That's a great idea!"
Cai, hearing us talk about options pipes up, "Yeah, i need a computers course for midwifery too - just a basic one..."
"i think i already know a lot about computers though..." Sloan comments.
"Sloan," Cairo giggles, "Poptropica doesn't count."
"What about Neopets? Email?"
i know - i've got time, we've got time, they've got time. They're still so wee, these little wisps of womanhood - & yet if the last 13 years are any indication, when i next blink, they'll be packing their bags & claiming the vast, wide world as their own. i wanna have an open, running dialogue with them now, so i can facilitate their transition. i want to research their options with them, challenge their assumptions about themselves & their abilities, support their decisions & dream with them.
Just then Peyton traipsed upstairs, "Hey, P," i called.
She turned to me & i noticed how skinny her arms have gotten as she is starting to stretch up, up, up... (her too?)
"What do you wanna be when you grow up?"
She shrugs her bony shoulders, "i dunno. Nothin'."
She grins & skips away... & i'm left grinning too... she still has 3 more months till she hits "double digits".
It's spring - the time that most homeschooling mama's evaluate their year, think about the next one and plan accordingly.
i have a lot of these years left to go... these conversations will be here when we pick them up again, but for now, we'll put them on the back burner & let them simmer away.
Their fragrance might just awaken something beautiful.