Thursday, March 4, 2010

pity party

i'm not a fan of pity parties.
Especially on blogs...
But, i'm throwing a wicked good one tonight - so you may just want to hit the "next blog" button & save yourself the misery of reading my teeny thunderstorm.
Neil's gone.
i miss him like crazy...
last night i had a bad dream about him & woke up sad.
He's been too busy to call.
i hate when that happens.
My sweet, tender lovey boys were up all night.
& so i find myself a little *pooped* today.
i had to discipline my littles today - my least favourite job.
i think maybe Peyton broke her toe.
Did i mention Neil has been gone since *before dawn* on Monday - & won't be back till *long after the sun sets* on Friday?
& then this afternoon, my darling sunshine was clinging to my legs while i was trying to sweep the kitchen.
& it dawned on me...
He's not quite himself, is he? i took him upstairs to my bed where he promptly fell asleep, even while i vacuumed right beside him.
An hour later, i realized that he had the stomach flu.
& my day took a drastic turn for the worse...
Especially when i decided to take the risk of bringing him to take Cairo to her fiddle class...
You never know how bad an idea something is till after you've already done it...
i had to ask a friend to pick me up some lysol for our carseat & van...
Did i mention Neil's gone?
& that i miss him?
But, then-
oh, yes... *finally*, then...
i noticed how my little ones cared for their sick little brother.
How Peyton's body so perfectly curls around his little frame as she snuggles him in his exhausted state.
How Cai phoned my friend, even though she's super shy on the phone, how she peeled & boiled ginger & searched out natural remedies with baking soda, apple cider vinegar & honey... but then gave up when nobody would drink them & dispersed freezies.
How Sloanie helped me strip my bed & get the loads of laundry started, & went out in the dark cold to spray the lysol on the carseat after i cleaned it.
i noticed how Charter & Molls disappeared to play together - putting aside earlier morning tensions...
Sweet little Ephraim - brought out all my tenderness that could have been lost in all the *badness* of the day.
& my darling sunshine boy - he made it easy to pick him up, in his wet, smelly clothes - hold him close & rock him in my arms... He needed his mama -
& what an honour that his mama is me.
& so i will sift through the garbage that today brought - & seek out the tiny treasures that are surely there...
i will probably allow myself a little cry tonight...
& then get on with the loveliness of life.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think it is going around... I had a sick kid here too only no throwing up ... just hot and fevered. And usually they are never sick... hope the rest of your clan stay germ free!

Saskatchewan Cousin

paige said...

yeh, steph brought it when she came - T probably picked it up from school. :( i sure hope it bypasses at least some of the kids too -

Lisa said...

That made me teary for you. I feel bad for you, but what a huge blessing to see the good in it. I'd be swearing like crazy and crying my eyes out while I begged James to come home.
The thought of all your kiddos helping out like that is so sweet!

paige said...

lisa - i was talking to someone about that the other day with a woman who came from a family of 12. i think my littles are so much more "selfless" than i was at their ages... This lady was saying that you learn in a big family - that it's not always about you & you learn to serve others. i sure see that in my crew. It's a tough lesson - especially in today's society where a lot of children are the center of their own universe... but i think it's a quality that will bless them later on in life.

Jen said...

I want to teach that to my kiddies too...
Hope Friday night comes quickly for you!!!
It's ok to have pity parties...you are allowed :)

deborah said...

ah, it's alright to have a pity party. I can't imagine anyone not having one of those every now and then.

I hope Neil comes in sooner than planned! :)

Melissa said...

I'm sorry you're having such a rough week. I am, however, thankful for the display of selflessness that your other littles are showing. What a blessing... we are really struggling in that area with our little treasures, despite taking hold of every teachable moment...

Big hug, Paige. Friday night is only a day and a half away! I'll be praying for you in these coming hours.

Mindy said...

You made me cry, too. What a gift to be able to see the silver linings. I hope Gage feels better soon, and that your children continue to feel like the blessings they are while you await Neil's return.

Prvbs31Mama said...

awww...why didn't you phone me to drive Cairo to her fiddle lessons?! I totally would have!
Hugs...You are an awesome mom. I hope the days are passing quickly and Neil is home VERY soon!

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