Finishing "Strong"

i had this plan in my head...
ok, i had a ton of plans in my head...
Plans for this spring - i had a few niggling, 'things to get done' that needed to wait till after the baby, i had some personal 'fitness' plans, i had homeschool plans, music plans & housekeeping plans.
Plans, plans, plans...
My homeschool plan was at the forefront of my mind as my pregnancy progressed so much farther than my due date & as i seemed, for the billionth time, to be 'cutting back to the basics' - instead of branching out, lighting the fires of their minds & "Finishing Strong".
i know, it's only the end of March...
But i have already come to terms with the fact that this homeschool year, i might have to settle for 'finishing', rather than finishing strong... i wanted to complete our unit of History - & have the time to delve into latin, greek, logic and more writing. i wanted to get Mollen interested & incorporated into our homeschool so that when grade 1 hits, she's ready to *fly*. i wanted to finish early, confident that each of my September goals had been met - ready to face a summer full of learning in the outdoors, without the burden of mother-guilt looming over me. 'Did i do enough? Are they competent learners? Will X ever come for this child & Y for that child? Am i ruining my most precious gifts by trying to do something i'm obviously ill-equipped for?'
& now?
My insecurities are threatening to overwhelm.
If anyone even mentions their music lessons, i might just have to break down and cry.
But, i'm still determined that in one area...
we will finish strong...
& by strong - i mean soft, weak, fragile, broken, ready - & teachable.
Our hearts - in their weakened state - used by the Master Craftsman - to create what is lovely in His sight... i'll teach my children - by example, to be malleable. Broken, yet whole... put off, but not forgotten, working towards goals that might not be completed - yet not thwarted...

Oh, little ones... mama might have let the reigns of a perfect education slip from her fingers a little this year - but let's finish strong - with patience, perseverance and joy - towards His goals for our lives. They're worthier than anything your mama ever thought up anyway.


Philippians 3:12-14 (New International Version)

Pressing on Toward the Goal
12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.