Tuesday, January 12, 2010

138

i thought it was such an extraordinarily large number that nobody would guess that high. i waited a bit for more, but then i fell asleep & woke up to baby having hiccups again at 6am.
So cute.
i feel so contentedly excited for this little one.
And yet - when i think practically - i realize that - i haven't washed my diapers, i don't have sheets and bedding prepared - and if teeny one were born today - there would be no name prepared to announce. Neil still has 2 business trips to go on (he's on one right now) i'm not sure where the number is of my midwife who i'm supposed to call if i go into labour is. i have a half assembled bed in baby's room... making it impossible to move around in - & Gagey still isn't sleeping through the night.
But then i remember...
i can buy diapers, baby will sleep with me, names will get chosen, & daddy will come home. i can look up the number for the midwife, when daddy comes home, he'll help me finish the bed & prepare the room & the story of this little one's arrival & first days will unfold in happy chaos - just like most babies arrivals & first days.
So, in these last couple of weeks, i'll hold together the threads of my life as i'm able - counting the hiccups in the sleepless wee hours. i'll prepare as i'm able - washing tiny diapers, bedding, blankets. i'll hold my breath till Neil comes home for good - trusting that God is weaving the timing. & i'll bask in the sunlight of these expectant days - enjoying these final weeks of being 'just us 2'.

3 comments:

Lori-Dawn said...

I felt such stong butterfly sensations in my stomach while reading this!! I'm getting so excited to meet this new little person, but I think I'm more excited as a bystander watching everything unfold in God's perfect timing...reading the reactions of your girls as they go with you to the midwife appointments...I love the glimpses that you've given me into your life!
HUGS!!!

Mindy said...

Thank you for this! I feel emotionally prepared, but not physically. The baby's room is a mess, Owen is still using the crib mattress (on the floor), and my house is still largely unpacked. I needed a reminder...

jessica jespersen said...

i must be the odd one out. I always have my bags packed for the hospital around month 4. haa! I'm a loser. No one is ever quite ready though no matter what they think they have under control. Prepare to come UNDONE! ;) -j

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