Friday, January 8, 2010

i'm with him

We found ourselves after an unforseen turning of events, with an hour to spare with no children... well... there was 1 small child, tucked away, keeping quiet & unseen beneath my black t-shirt... but we were without our normal rambunctious crew.
i looked at Neil... "Where are we going?"
We didn't have much time & i couldn't figure out where he was headed. i was perplexed when we pulled into the mall... As far as i knew, we couldn't get blizzards at the mall...
"You'll see." he said.
We headed in an icy back entrance & i was thankful that i was holding his hand when i slipped on the ice & almost killed myself.
As soon as we stepped through those doors, i realized what with my near-spill, what a mess i must appear, & i nervously yanked on the bottom of my shirt.
The thing about maternity pants is...
i wasn't wearing maternity pants...
i was wearing a "belly band" with normal pants. A belly band is an ingenious little invention that is shaped like a neckwarmer that allows you to walk around with your pants completely undone, while keeping you reasonably covered. i could feel that all was not quite right, & so with one hand, i held onto the bottom of my belly band & with the other tried to hike up the top so that it would better cover my watermellon.
Something still didn't feel quite right - & as we passed a horrified looking asian beauty queen (seriously, she was beautiful), i realized that with one hand i was pulling down my belly band & with the other, i was pulling up my maternity underwear.
Ah, well... live & learn.
i smiled at her - & looked at her awkward pimply faced boyfriend, then i grabbed my handsome husband's hand as he confidently negotiated the obstacles, saying with my eyes, "It's ok if i'm a mess & you just saw my underwear - i'm with him."
Neil never noticed.
We never did find what Neil was looking for (a housecoat for me, but with skinny arms... ) but we got Charter a pair of jeans before we had to rush back out into the cold.
Back into the warm van, i sighed as my pants slipped a little lower than they should.
"i like being with you." i said.
"i like being with you too."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Want a coffee?"
"Nah, i'm good."
& i am.

7 comments:

Alicia said...

I've definitely been there a time or two ;)

Jen said...

Heheh.
Must have been quite the slip :)

Jen said...

P.S. I'm glad you didn't die

paige said...

HAHAAA Jen!! You sound like you don't believe me! i swear, if my feet had better aim, i would have bruises on my forehead. Neil grabbed me & looked at me like i was completely useless & said, "don't kill yourself, k?"
Ya, i'll make that my goal. i TOLD him to buy me some yak tracks...

Prvbs31Mama said...

hee hee, you make me giggle Paige!
I completely and wholeheartedly second what Jen said! lol

Jen said...

I DO belive you!
Just funny that you had to adjust your pants after :)

mamalena said...

Yes you are!...mama

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