Grump

i have no idea what came over me yesterday. i had an *awesome* weekend. Neil took the bigs skiing on Saturday & i had a date day with Molls & Gage. We played, went to ikea for lunch, ran errands & had supper ready when they came home.
Neil was sweet to me.
My littles blessed me.
My waddly belly kept me excited.
So, why on earth i woke up on Monday with a horrible case of the grumpies, i have no idea.
Maybe it's 'cause Neil kissed me goodbye at 5am in order to catch his flight to Toronto by 7. Maybe it's 'cause my biggies were babysitting another little one at my house & we couldn't get into our normal routine for the day.
Maybe i was just due for a day of feeling a little impatient & explosive.
Whatever it was - i wasn't digging it.
Several times over the course of the day - i found myself deep breathing - & nobody even did anything wrong.
Finally, at the supper table, i turned to my little posse & stated simply, "Man, i've felt grumpy today..."
"It's my fault..." said Peyton first. (She's always the first one to take the blame). "i shouldn't have needed so much help with my math today..."
i thought back to her math lesson. It was actually a highlight of my day... Usually she works independently, but today she was struggling, so we sat side by side & worked out the problems together. She never slacked off - even when i could tell she was tired, she worked her hardest & by the time we were done, it was taking her half the time it had been for each problem as it had been when we started... i was so proud of her.
"Nah," i said, "It was definitely not you, Peyts..."
"It was *my* fault..." said Mollen. "i was eating those pitas in Gagey's room & now you have to vacuume again..."
i thought back to Mollen's little packed "picnic" lunch for her & Gage. She had it wrapped in a little box, wrapped in a blankie & slung on a little stick that she carried over her shoulder. So cute.
"No, Mollen... Mama needs to vacuume anyway - it was totally not your fault. i love how you play with Gagey... Actually - there were a lot of things about today that made me happy... i got Gagey back in cloth diapers after a couple of weeks using disposables. That always makes me happy. It made my heart grow to hear Cai practicing her fiddle downstairs while Peyts & i worked on our math... i've wanted her to learn Sour Grass all year - & now that she has - it's so pretty... "
As i was talking - i looked over at Gagey. Typical (almost) 2 year old with a big fat lip & seemingly never with pants on. He grinned a big toothy grin at me.

Time to start over, heart.

i tidied up supper & then called the little ones. We did an 8 minute tidy in the basement, 5 minutes on the main floor & 3 minutes for the upstairs (i always use the timer - then we run & hustle - & it's amazing what we can accomplish).
Then, we all put on our jammies - & met in my room for a couple of chapters of our current read aloud. When i was out of breath, my big girls took turns to give me a break...
It was about all i had in me to be able to do...
But it was enough.