Monday, September 21, 2009

crossing imaginary lines...

Baby -
Did you know that at some point last week, you crossed an imaginary line? It's the line in pregnancy that defines you as a *baby*... Maybe right now, you are looking down at your little toes, wondering how in the world you could be more of a baby because you hit 20 weeks than you were at 19 weeks...
It's a question that i've often wondered too...
Because i lost Caleb at 16 weeks, they called his loss, "intra-uterine death". i didn't miscarry, as they had to induce labour... and he couldn't be called a still birth because he hadn't crossed that imaginary line, so they had to find a new term that would fit his circumstances... They told me there was no need to document his little life and death in the same way. i guess - because, in a way - he didn't count.
i'm so glad that those lines are imaginary...
There is a day that you became a person, baby - & that day was the day that you were conceived. From that day forward, you were a distinct person - carrying your very own code of DNA - different from your brothers & sisters - your own unique blend from your daddy & me.
Throughout the days & weeks that passed since the moment you were conceived, you passed many milestones - developing a beating heart, all your little organs growing and maturing in your little body, eyes to see with, ears to hear with... little fingers and toes stretching and forming & getting stronger by the day... Bones hardening, skin strengthening - becoming a little person who is a little less dependent on me & more ready to be born and begin to breath air. You didn't magically become a person at any one of those milestones, you just got a little bigger, a little stronger, a little tiny bit less dependent (though obviously, you still need me...)
But, from day 1 - you were your own distinct little individual - my baby. My precious child. So, go little one, cross those imaginary lines, but know that not one of them determines your personhood or the value of this incredible gift we've been given with your life.
May your little life - in each day and every moment - be used by the Giver of Life - for His perfect purposes.

4 comments:

deborah said...

very well said.

Mindy said...

Amen!

mamazee said...

i love this paige :) i wish we did like the chinese are said to do, and said our babies are 1 year old at birth... they've already spent the biggest, most explosive growth and development spurt they're going to have in the lat ten months... and we look at these triumphs and say "Okay, we'll start at zero." No fair!

jessica jespersen said...

love your gift paige.-j

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