Tuesday, September 29, 2009

supermom i'm not.

There are a lot of myths out there about larger families. i'm not gonna shatter them all for you today, but i'll give a go at one that has been rearing it's ugly head in my circle of friends since news of our latest pregnancy got out.

i'm not supermom.

i'm not even "better than average" mom.
Sometimes, i'm a sucky mom.
It's the truth - ask Neil - or my kids - just please don't install a hidden camera or i'd be mortified. People think that because we have lots of little ones, that i *must* have been given more than my fair share of patience, mothering prowess, or organizational skills. It's just plain untrue. i've met many, many, MANY mommas with only 1 or 2 children about whom i've thought, "man, i could learn a whole lot from her..." or, "if she had 6 or 7 littles, she'd be doing a way better job than me..."
When i look at some mommas, i wish that they could be in charge of my child's education, diet, physical fitness regime, music lessons, wardrobe, photographs & discipline - i sometimes wish that i could take lessons from some moms on cooking & cleaning... Honestly? You name it & some other mom is better at it than me.
What i am learning to be good at is relinquishing control. i can't be everything to everyone, i can't have everything perfectly under my thumb - my humble abode becomes even more *humbling* after a full day of homeschool & meals & adventures with my little people - & at some point - slowly - along the line, i've learned that doing my best is good enough. The times in my life where i've been the free to "let go & let God" be in control... where i've allowed myself to be used by Him - have been the happiest of my life.
It sort of reminds me of that recurring line from Anne of Green Gables, "Do not fear! Susan is at the helm!!" (Good ol' faithful Susan...) i know that there is *peace*... there is *freedom*... because my Father is at the helm.
& you wanna know a secret? (i know it's still early on, i'm only 13 years into this whole motherhood thing...) But i'm becoming more and more convinced of something that started pricking my heart at the beginning of this whole journey... Children are a blessing.
i'm not amazing.
i'm not patient.
i'm not good...
but God is...
& does He ever give good gifts...

10 comments:

Melissa said...

Paige -

Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty... :)

Big hug...! I think we could probably learn a lot from each other - I LOVE learning new things from other mamas... not that I feel like I have much to offer, either...

M.

Anonymous said...

You know, Paige- I think that's what makes you a great mom. Your ability to let go of things and let God be in control. I know, its something we all have to learn and continuously work at. Your right, you weren't born with supernatural "mom" abilities, but it is definitely where you belong & I think many can see that. God had you chosen long before you knew. You and Neil are definitely doing something right- even if it's just letting go and letting Him take the wheel- 'cause your kids are awesome.
God Bless you,
Carlee

Lisa said...

I totally agree with Carlee. :)

Beautiful dreamer said...

Your little ones are fed, clothed, and most importantly, LOVED! That makes you a supermom!!

Jen said...

You are the best Mom for your little darlings.
You are a super hero to them :)
I think you are pretty super too!

Prvbs31Mama said...

what Carlee said!! lol
You're doing an awesome job, even if you feel like you're floundering!! lol
Hugs!

paige said...

i don't know if i feel like i'm floundering - or if i feel like i don't have much to offer (i do! like i said, my best *is* good enough!)... i just see so much strength in other mummies. The truth is, that none of us are supermom... (though that phrase keeps getting tossed around). The best that we all can do is to let go & let God.

Anonymous said...

I liked your phrase "I can't be everything to everyone" -- I feel frustrated a lot of the time because that is what I am trying to be. Someone needs help with homework, it is picture day so we need nicer clothes and help getting hair slicked etc., and hubby wants coffee made and then the phone rings and it could just make you go crazy (if you let it!) That's how I felt this morning -- don't ask me to do one more thing!! But then one "fire" gets put out and on to the next thing and eventually everyone is (more or less) happy... and there are only 4 of us, so I can hardly imagine trying to be "everything" to everybody when there are 8 or 9. But I so often see in the obituaries of elderly folk who have died that they have raised a big family (often on the farm) with so little ... that inspires me, somehow.... that it can be done and we CAN raise our kids to love God and each other and be good citizens! And still keep our sanity...

Good advice that one should "relinquish control." Often I think it will all fall apart if I do that, but it won't!

Saskatchewan Cousin

Lesley said...

OK...but what really makes you a supermum is your bravery. Whether you like being called brave or not, you ARE;-) Having lots of children is brave, homeschooling is brave, being honest is brave, having faith is brave...all these things you do and you do them all so humbly. I know many, many people who wish to do one, or more, of these things but simply won't because they are afraid. It's a bird, it's a plane....it's Paige;-)

Jeff said...

Awesome Post Paige!!!

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