There are a lot of myths out there about larger families. i'm not gonna shatter them all for you today, but i'll give a go at one that has been rearing it's ugly head in my circle of friends since news of our latest pregnancy got out.
i'm not supermom.
i'm not even "better than average" mom.
Sometimes, i'm a sucky mom.
It's the truth - ask Neil - or my kids - just please don't install a hidden camera or i'd be mortified. People think that because we have lots of little ones, that i *must* have been given more than my fair share of patience, mothering prowess, or organizational skills. It's just plain untrue. i've met many, many, MANY mommas with only 1 or 2 children about whom i've thought, "man, i could learn a whole lot from her..." or, "if she had 6 or 7 littles, she'd be doing a way better job than me..."
When i look at some mommas, i wish that they could be in charge of my child's education, diet, physical fitness regime, music lessons, wardrobe, photographs & discipline - i sometimes wish that i could take lessons from some moms on cooking & cleaning... Honestly? You name it & some other mom is better at it than me.
What i am learning to be good at is relinquishing control. i can't be everything to everyone, i can't have everything perfectly under my thumb - my humble abode becomes even more *humbling* after a full day of homeschool & meals & adventures with my little people - & at some point - slowly - along the line, i've learned that doing my best is good enough. The times in my life where i've been the free to "let go & let God" be in control... where i've allowed myself to be used by Him - have been the happiest of my life.
It sort of reminds me of that recurring line from Anne of Green Gables, "Do not fear! Susan is at the helm!!" (Good ol' faithful Susan...) i know that there is *peace*... there is *freedom*... because my Father is at the helm.
& you wanna know a secret? (i know it's still early on, i'm only 13 years into this whole motherhood thing...) But i'm becoming more and more convinced of something that started pricking my heart at the beginning of this whole journey... Children are a blessing.
i'm not amazing.
i'm not patient.
i'm not good...
but God is...
& does He ever give good gifts...