Tuesday, September 15, 2009

neil is my dj

i don't listen to the radio much.
i make enough noise so that i have no need to turn on any extra in my house... so Neil is our resident dj. He works in a (relatively) quiet office all day... (i say relatively because his office is in our garage, which is right beside our backyard, where our noisy offspring often frolic... loudly).
Because he works in a (relatively) quiet office, he listens to the radio... a lot. He also travels a lot & bought one of those fancy satellite radios so that he could have non stop music or horrible boring drivel (ahem...jim rome) while he drives.
He's up on all the music. He saves songs for me that he thinks i might like. He hates admitting that he likes Pink - but why is she saved on his favourites? He still sadly likes country, but for the most part, i'm content to let him pick our stations and dj our driving experience.
i'm always struck by the fact that even the most hard core music seems to have a theme of *hunger* for Jesus. i don't think i'm just reading into it either. Sometimes i think that music cries out for Him - even when the people performing never thought they had that intent.
it's like that Blaise Pascal quote:
“There is a God shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God, the Creator, made known through Jesus”
& we keep shoving things in there - to shush the hunger... to drown the sorrow... to fill it with anything but... Him.
i know for a fact that there was a time in my life where as much as i loved my God, i wanted Neil to *be* Him with skin on. i wanted Neil's perfect husband love to instead be God's perfect Agape Love... & it was as impossible for Neil to be God for me as it is for me to be God for him, or for these little ones... who were each born with that same hunger for their Creator.
That's the feeling that strikes to my heart when i hear this song.
i remember when i first heard it... i cried. We were on a trip somewhere & Neil was being the dj - & when i heard her sing, "please don't leave me"... i thought of The One that i couldn't live without... The One who never will leave me. The One who reaches down into my desperate little life & heart & holds me in the midst of the storm.

1 comment:

mamalena said...

HA...can't stand to listen to the song...but what you are saying is so true. People expect to receive from another human being the kind of love that really only our Father is capable of giving. Only God can be God. I think we must lower our expectations with regard to other people...or we will never fail to be disappointed...Still I believe that it is the whole purpose of our life....to apprentice with Him....learning how to love like He does.


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