Sunday, April 25, 2010

pledge my life to heaven

i had an insecure day the other day -
o alright -
i had a bit of an insecure week.
(But, i'm remembering my B vitamins now :)
Friends wrote & commented on my blog & encouraged me - like good friends do -
but i still felt the pang of my own inadequacy.
So, after getting up in the middle of the night to evaluate my work, i put my restlessness to good use, and made plans for the next year, for successfully finishing out this year. i organized my homeschooling receipts, and filled out a summary of our year. i poured over curriculum catalogues and websites and prepared an order that would help me better meet my goals for the next year.
By the time my littles got up, i was wild eyed, on my second cup of coffee, determined to shake off the doubts that had been nagging at me all night.
People say, "just do the best you can & that's all that can be expected of you..."
But that's like implying that you could live your whole life in a full out sprint... (providing you don't trip on the asphalt & break a kneecap or something... just sayin'...)
You just can't. You take breaks - you let the dust collect on the tops of the picture frames, and the fingerprints cover your chairs. You sit down when you could be working - and stay up when you should sleep.
The trick is surrender.
Surrendering your own flawed self to the Creator - & surrendering the ones you would lay down & die for - to the One who did.

1 comment:

Mindy said...

Thanks for sharing this, Paige! Keep on keeping on...


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