(So fun that you can type things you would never say...)
i'm so over having a straight leg. (8 more days)
i'm allowed to take off my zimmer to shower, but not to sleep or anything else. (For another 8 days.)
But i take it off sometimes just to look at my gnarly leg, scratch the flaking skin off, enjoy the greenish hues and the roundness of my knee (still swollen for crying out loud!) in contrast to the rest of my leg that is so skinny, i'm tempted to eat my weight in burgers - till i see my dimply thigh on the other side & am.. comforted? *ahem*
As i was saying...
Last night i took it off & experimentally tried to bend my knee... just a little.
i can't bend my knee. i felt panic well up in my chest... "Neil, if i can't move my knee now, how'm i gonna walk when i get this thing off? (In 8 days.) How do i get better? How can life be normal when i have my freedom (in 8 days) if i'm still limping like i am now? That's it. i need to quit wearing this thing. i need to get my leg working now, i need to start to bend it so that i can walk sooner, start recovering, stop limping!!"
Frantically, i told my brain to make my knee bend - & it refused.
i looked at Neil.
He looked at me.
"When you talk to me about your knee, it makes my bum tingle..."
Thanks for your support.