Wednesday, April 21, 2010

fo' realz

(So fun that you can type things you would never say...)
i'm so over having a straight leg. (8 more days)
i'm allowed to take off my zimmer to shower, but not to sleep or anything else. (For another 8 days.)
But i take it off sometimes just to look at my gnarly leg, scratch the flaking skin off, enjoy the greenish hues and the roundness of my knee (still swollen for crying out loud!) in contrast to the rest of my leg that is so skinny, i'm tempted to eat my weight in burgers - till i see my dimply thigh on the other side & am.. comforted? *ahem*
As i was saying...
Last night i took it off & experimentally tried to bend my knee... just a little.
i can't.
i can't bend my knee. i felt panic well up in my chest... "Neil, if i can't move my knee now, how'm i gonna walk when i get this thing off? (In 8 days.) How do i get better? How can life be normal when i have my freedom (in 8 days) if i'm still limping like i am now? That's it. i need to quit wearing this thing. i need to get my leg working now, i need to start to bend it so that i can walk sooner, start recovering, stop limping!!"
Frantically, i told my brain to make my knee bend - & it refused.
i looked at Neil.
He looked at me.
"When you talk to me about your knee, it makes my bum tingle..."
Thanks for your support.


Jen said...

Not really sure how your sore knee relates to Neil's tingly bum but it's hilarious regardless!

And now this is 'Nurse Jen' patient P. In 8 more days THAT is when you start slowly bending it and getting it back in working order. NOT now! Or you'll pay for it later.

And now I'm sure you are ready to slap me :)
I can hear you now telling me to 'take my patience and shove it!'


paige said...

i know it... & i have been *so very obedient*!
it freaked me out when they did the xrays at the hospital & my knee wouldn't/couldn't bend... & they had to slowly, mm by mm get it into the position for them to be able to take the x-ray & i though, "oh my goodness - this is horrible!"

Melissa said...

Oh Neil... HA HA HA!!!

I will be praying for you, Paige. I have a little inkling of what it's like - when I busted my foot in high school and was casted for 6 weeks and couldn't bend my ankle to save my life... but I can only imagine that a knee would be sooooo much worse, really. :(

Hang in there!!

Andrea said...

I'm a nurse and I get "bum tingles" ALL THE TIME!!! My sisters do too. Any time one of us describes something terribly painful...I guess that's how we experience empathy? Haa! Our husbands like to bug us with it. "Babe check this out! Sick, hey? How's your butt?"

jessica jespersen said...

I'm with Andrea... and Neil. It's tingling in the worst sense of the word. And... I can't believe you blogged this. You will be flogged later....and THEN who will be "tingling"...?? -j

Mindy said...

Oh, my goodness. These comments are almost as good as the post. *Almost.*

paige said...

That's what he gets for not reading my blog... i will blog about his tingly bum :) Hopefully he doesn't break habit...

Lola said...

I get tingly bum even when I see someone injure themselves on TV. Funniest home videos is the worst. And when I drive over a bump in the car or my kids go high on the swing they say it "scared their bum". There must be some sorta weird nerve thing there :) too funny.

Denise said...

Don't try your leg too soon... Gordon cut his cast off himself and suffered for it and had to go back and humbly ask for another to be put back on and then he had to wear it a couple weeks longer than they'd originally said... (I know you don't have bipolar) but I'm just saying, it isn't worth doing anything crazy at this point when you've already come so far...

Saskatchewan Cousin...

mamalena said...

Yes...Paige.....just forget about bending it yet. That's why you still have the cast. When you get the cast off will be the time to START thinking about bending it....

mamazee said...

hee hee!

Don't move your leg! Let it get as strong as it can!

In 8 days it will magically work :) i promise!

I *think* what Neil is trying to say (I'm pretty good at parsing mantalk) - is "When you talk about your leg, it makes me need to be whacked..." I"m pretty sure that's what he means... next time and see if


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