i was tidying up my room today & i found an old note that Sloanie had written me years ago. Generally, i'm not a packrat, but there was something in this note that had made me want to keep it.
I love you so much mom. (heart) You are the most beautiful mom ever. Thank you for caring for us and feeding us. I love you so much. You are the best mom ever. Thanks for helping us with the fort. You are the best at cooking and you are best at being kind to us. Thank you for doing your job. I love....
Well, that's a pretty complimentary note eh? hehe. i have to agree with her on one thing... i am the best... best... momma that my littles could have. Does that sound cocky? i don't think it is. God uniquely gifted me to be their mama. He put us together in this family for His purposes. He gave me more love than i ever dreamed possible for my husband & for our little crew. He daily shapes us to His image & uses each person in this home to rub the rough edges off the others. He knows i'm not a perfect mama, but by His grace, i'm *the* perfect mama for the little people who call me by that name.
i use to always feel a little insecure about Neil - that he was too good for me, too beautiful, good & put together for me... until i realized that what i had to give - my love - was a pretty incredible thing. i began to be convinced that despite my obvious failings, it was impossible that there was another woman on the planet who could love my husband as much as i did- & i purposed to keep doing the one thing i was good at. i feel the same way with my little ones - when i see other excellent mamas i wish that my littles could have someone who was a better teacher, more patient mentor, more consistent parent... but then i know that i *love* these little people & that will cover so, so much - & ultimately it will grow me in ways i never thought possible.
So, there's love. Despite my failings - i've learned to love. Not perfectly, just constantly.
On to my second observation about her little love note: - 'Thank you for doing your job'. People with paying jobs hear that all the time. & even if they don't, their paycheque says it for them.
i'm a stay at home, homeschooling mama - & my jobs are many & often i feel like i do many jobs poorly - but Sloanie reminded me that my job *is* a balancing act... & it's something that i have chosen to meet head-on. i know i haven't shirked - & even when i've failed - i've been giving all that i've got in me to give. *That's* my job. Givin' & lovin'...
& what a beautiful job it is.