Thursday, June 11, 2009

i am a runner

i can't even type those words without a sheepish grin on my face.
i reserve the term "runner" for people like my father in law, who have run for years, 5 days a week, or like Karen who just ran her second half marathon, or Melissa who is getting certified as a personal trainer, or the girl who sold me my runners after analysing my gait (who i was too ashamed to run in front of...) not *me*, the poser with the nice shoes.
As i slipped off my runners this morning after our homeschool gym class at the park, i wondered, "Why not? Why can't i be a runner?"
"Because," i laughed at myself, "You're not. You're not a dancer either, or a poet, or a soccer player. You can't just say you are something & then choose to be it... There are rites of passage to go through, or it's a birthright, a childhood strength, a probation period before you can be called a runner. And you have none of these qualifications... you are a mother and a wife. You're not a runner."
But my heart betrays me... Running is like a fresh new friendship to me - full of first conversations, questions, getting to know you's... It's like when you meet someone for the first time & you really hit it off... you wonder if it'll blossom into a friendship - or not.
i don't need an ipod if i run... my conversations go like this, 'go legs... o, wow, i can feel all my muscles working... go lungs - you gettin' enough air? C'mon heart - let's keep it together - little faster till we're around that bend, then i'll slow it down a touch...'
i've never been too great at fresh new friendships. It's kinda like gardening for me... i get so excited to see the green shoots start to come up - but then i lose interest - get caught up in other things - forget to care for my little growing things... & my yield is weak.
But for now, in this season - as i lace up my runners & learn to call myself by another name,
i am a runner.


Melissa said...


It's invigorating, isn't it? I ran in high school, then broke my foot, couldn't run for years, and now I want to again... and your posts are only all the more encouraging!!

So happy for your new friendship!

jessica jespersen said...

By the looks of your new calves... I'd say you are now a certified runner. Lookin' gooooood Paige! :) I think i will actually put on some suportive undergarments and perhaps use the eliptical this am. THanks for the encouragement. I am a "nacho eater" hopefully soon to be a healthy eater/excerciser. Keep pumping me up!!--j

Minerva said...


I am pleased to be one of the individuals who inspired you to begin this friendship. May it weather and develop into the kind of relationship that stays with you throughout your life!

Keep running!

mamalena said...

Yes you are too a runner... I well remember you running cross country and relay in high school!! (You are too a poet as well) And yes... of course you decide what you are and make it so....that's life baby!


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