who do i want to be?

Sometimes i watch people.
& sometimes people's reactions inspire me to be a better wife, mama, follower of Christ.
Sometimes when i feel all rotten...
i think to myself - how do i wish i could react? Sometimes drawing on the beautiful reactions i have seen modeled for me...
& then trying my very best to do it just as good.
Initially, having a little blast of heat - 's fine...
But then... then - what am i gonna choose?
Anger, bitterness, malice & strife?
or...
love, joy, peace, patience & kindness - goodness, self-control, faithfulness and gentleness...?

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
when there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand,
to be loved as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying [to ourselves] that we are born to eternal life.
-st.francis