Thursday, October 8, 2009

running out of tough...

Ever feel like that?
As the snow started to swirl - & my husbands second week of travelling in a row drew to a close - i felt all the stuff that makes me tough just sort of seep out of my pores & melt into a puddle on the floor. i was driving around the traffic circle in our little community - the sky was starting to get dark - & i still had several errands & a lot more driving to do before my night was over & yet... all that i had left was a little catch in my throat. If i can just make it till he calls, i thought. i just needed a little pick me up & i hadn't heard from him all day...

Poor me.

i waddled into the college to pick up my oldest daughter from her fiddle class, heaving my sweet beefy chunk of fudge son up 3 flights of stairs - & my cell phone rang.

It was neil.

"Hey hon!" (Static - i can hear voices in the background... ) "i'm just heading out to a hockey game tonight - i won't be able to talk to you till tomorrow..."
"Oh," i breathe... hoping he doesn't hear the tiny sob forming in my throat... "When are you coming home?"
"i should be able to leave tomorrow at around 3pm - then it's a 10 hour drive home... "
"Oh... i miss you..."
"i miss you too - love you, but i gotta go here, we're in a bit of a rush..."
"mkay. Talk to you tomorrow then..."
"Love you - bye!"
i flip shut the phone.
Gather my wits about me.
Clear my throat & rub my face...
pick up my cuddle bunny for a snuggle.
& dip into my reserves...


Jen said...

You are going to stay up until he gets home aren't you? ;)
I don't know how you do it.
May God fill your reserve tank for today!

paige said...

j, i'm ashamed to admit that i usually do try to wait up for him... Funny thing is though, when i don't, he always comes banging & clanging into our room & shakes me awake... *hehe* he misses me too...

Jen said...

Awww - that's cute. Best thing to wake up to - even if it is in the middle of the night!
I would stay up too if I were you. :)

Melissa said...

Oh Paige, may God give you huge reserves for the day ahead - happy for you for Neil coming home!!

Anonymous said...

I know the feeling -- when John is hauling oil, he leaves at 5 a.m. and there is no guarantee when he will come home... last night I woke up at 2:32 a.m. when he came into the bedroom. Meanwhile, when he's gone, I "run" the kids! Nice when every 5 days he gets a day off and can maybe stay home (if we don't need to get the semi repaired in Lloyd!) Glad it won't be long till Neil is home, now...
Saskatchewan Cousin

Prvbs31Mama said...

am praying that God loves you up good today!
had I known Neil was gone all week I woulda asked if you wanted a distraction!!!! or is that just more stress??
ps. I'd stay up

Mandy said...

Oh Paige! I am right there with you this week! Travis has been gone all week to Chicago and I am sooo at the end of being strong and never being able to let my guard down. Baby doesn't stop fussing or sleep and the list goes on just like yours does! I can not imagine how single Mom's do life! Praise the Lord that we have husbands who come back!

mamazee said...

paige, that's me tonight.
T phoned as i was dishing out dinner, and it was all staticky, and he said "we're 100 feet up in the stadium and it's snowing and we're freezing cold, and the game hasn't started yet" and i thought.... hm. maybe not nice to say what i think. You know, i'll get back to a better frame of mind later on - so i keep my mouth shut - but while he's out with a couple dozen *other people's* kids - his own kids have the slighty worn and bedraggled lady who took them all seven to the dentist today and just needs to be off duty. But you soldier on, and i'll soldier on tomorrow when he needs to catch up on his sleep. I just wish that, as moms, there was a little margin built in there somewhere - Although you know, running on empty is when you start running on God fumes instead of your own strength, and that's a good place to be... but still! lonely! and missing T tonight.

jessica jespersen said...

Curt is preparing to leave for his week-long hunt... i think it may be time for me to take up hunting. -j


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