biting the bullet

We bought a 12 passenger van.
The 16 17 pounds i've put on kinda kept reminding Neil that at some point in the new year, our family would no longer fit either of our vehicles - & so we went out on Monday to test drive the Big Silver Beast.
i'll be honest...
It kind of gave me the giggles...
Maybe it's 'cause i'm a little chubby... & i had a little trouble hoisting my heft into the co-pilot seat...
Maybe it was the sight of Neil - bravely facing the future & calmly saying, 'Yeh, it drives nice...' about a freaking bus...
Maybe it was because the salesman offered to sell us pin stripes to up the coolness factor of our new automobile...
Maybe it's because while mulling over names for our van (a family tradition) i decided that i would like to name the van after Neil - The Silver Fox. Bwahaha...
i turned my head as Neil pulled onto Glenmore & looked far into the backseat... s... imagining our sweet little posse sitting back there singing Kumbaya... or fighting over the dvd of choice... Trying not to cry when i imagined our little grey & orange carseat filled with somebody with silky soft skin & a kitten's cry...

We took it out on Saturday... & the littles thought it was the coolest vehicle on the planet... i think because they weren't smooshed in like sardines... Neil pretended he couldn't hear the back row & they all had to show how close they could come to standing up in the vehicle... impressive.

We piled in on Sunday morning too - to drive the very few blocks from our house to the little community church that we go to. (i know - we're really environmentally friendly like that... *sigh*) Suddenly, Neil started to laugh.

"It's a little embarrassing..."

"i know... it's like going to church with a hickey."

"Why don't we just wear a sign that says, 'we do it a lot'".

He parks on the street - out of eyesight of the front door of the church...
In some ways, i feel like we're breaking out of a mold - we're not your typical small family - & we're not your typical large family... we're just *our family*... imperfectly perfect, chaotic, flying by the seat of our pants, never fitting the mold - far from typical-
*family*.
& now we'll drive a 12 passenger.