Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Anniversaries

It seems when the anniversaries of my lost little ones come around, my body remembers even before my mind does... i feel teary & emotional ~ drained... & then i remember, 'it's september...' or 'it's february'..
i know everyone is different, but i think for many women, this sorrow ~ this grief ~ has been wired in somehow ~ & it's coming is as unavoidable as the falling of the leaves in autumn, or the blooming of the flowers in spring.
My husband has noticed this too & even though we treat those days like any other, he usually phones me & gives me those 2 words i need the most, "i remember". Sometimes it is healing balm to have someone remember with you...
It's a tender thing - a treasure that came about because of the love in your marriage & the grace of God... & then suddenly - feels - delayed in a way?
All these years that have passed have taken some of the agony of loss away & in it's place, i feel a gratitude for these little ones that God gave us - even for such a brief time - and a certainty that our Hope will be fulfilled.

5 comments:

jessica jespersen said...

When we get together and I watch my Darren, i wonder how he would have played with your Caleb had they had the chance. Makes me smile. -j

Jen said...

Awww Paige! I'm sorry....I wanted to say "I'm thinking about you today..." but I couldn't remember which day it was in Feb and I forgot to ask.
Hurting & remembering with you today.
Hugs!!!

Mindy said...

(((Hugs)))

Anonymous said...

Yes, we all remember those lost little ones... In January one of the distant Cousins turned 40 and Auntie Sharon told me that when that birthday took place, she always thought of her little boy she lost... so even after 4 decades a Mum still remembers what might have been... I remember in November -- funny how I was only pregnant with that little one for a month but it still holds such significance to me, if to no one else! Blessings on you as you remember, Caleb. Your Saskatchewan Cousin

Prvbs31Mama said...

Hugs Paige,
I don't think you ever really forget...not that we'd even want to!
Thinking of you lots this week!

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