It seems when the anniversaries of my lost little ones come around, my body remembers even before my mind does... i feel teary & emotional ~ drained... & then i remember, 'it's september...' or 'it's february'..
i know everyone is different, but i think for many women, this sorrow ~ this grief ~ has been wired in somehow ~ & it's coming is as unavoidable as the falling of the leaves in autumn, or the blooming of the flowers in spring.
My husband has noticed this too & even though we treat those days like any other, he usually phones me & gives me those 2 words i need the most, "i remember". Sometimes it is healing balm to have someone remember with you...
It's a tender thing - a treasure that came about because of the love in your marriage & the grace of God... & then suddenly - feels - delayed in a way?
All these years that have passed have taken some of the agony of loss away & in it's place, i feel a gratitude for these little ones that God gave us - even for such a brief time - and a certainty that our Hope will be fulfilled.