i wonder that too often.
i know - it has been the subject of many of my blog entries.
My sister Stephanie & i were talking about it one day - how you don't... can't... really know - until the defining moment that makes clear the kind of a person that you have allowed yourself to become.
i feel like this life is my study hour - God has given me some incredible resources - besides the bible, my friends, my family... He's given me the Holy Spirit.
When i hear stories of martyrs - the persecuted church, stories of love so overwhelming and humbling... People making difficult - impossible - choices in the name of Love. i pray that should God have me walk through the furnace, that the Holy Spirit will give me what i lack so that the question isn't: what am i made of? But is instead: What can God make of me?
i get so wrapped up in my failings that i forget that they don't negate God's truth. The reality of God's love and sacrifice doesn't depend on me getting all the answers right.
i find myself longing to be in a place of complete surrender. Where my will becomes His will. Where my instincts are His. Where His Truth lives in me.
What can you make me, God?