Friday, May 27, 2011

it's raining, it's pouring...

And it reminds me of dating neil... of the day we realized that we both loved the rain and we stood outside in it. My hair plastered down around my dripping face that he held in his sun browned hands in that torrential downpour when he kissed me.
What did we know then of our likes and dislikes? Us two, who were mere babes - thinking ourselves all-knowing and wise...
How did we not notice our glaring differences, our glossed over flaws? We never imagined we'd change from those two wet children - drawn to each other as 'like to like' - under the summer showers of growth giving rain...
i'm reading a book to the little ones, it's called _The Bridge_ by Jerri Massi. In it, the princess thinks her father's most trusted knight is betraying the king's confidence. She shouts arrogant rebukes at him, while he knows he is not betraying but rather loyally laying down his life for the sake of the king and his kingdom - choosing certain death so there is a hope of victory.
As the princess is carried off to safety, still shouting words of distrust and anger, the knight responds gently, "These words of yours have dropped to the ground between us. Think nothing of them when the time comes."
See that?
Foreseeing her remorse, he forgave her in advance...
& isn't that love?
Oh, Neil, forgive me...
Forgiveness is such a soul stretching thing & to give it without being asked....
is faith-building.
And so, instead of hissing, "You'll regret that... mark my words..." and stomping home from church wearing high heels, carrying a 20lb baby (hypothetically)...
i wanna be the kind of girl whose face he held so tenderly in his dripping hands... just as it all began... i wanna see kindnesses big - and flaws tiny. i wanna be able to let the hurtful words drop to the ground between us - and we'll think nothing of them when the time comes.

2 comments:

Laura said...

Oh, my. I am in tears with this post, stewing over hurtful words and feeling as though they tore down all the acts of kindness. Our Jesus, through your words has planted a seed in my heart. For that I am thankful. I am thankful for you!

(and you live in Calgary? What the? I lived there for nearly thirteen years! January 1998 to last fall, September 2010. What are the odds? Now I really REALLY want to get to know you better! I am still homesick in many ways, and not used to the sheer volume of it, but loving the rain here, just as you speak of.)

Bless you, mama! You are a gifted writer.

lovefam6 said...

Ah, Laura's post to your blog brought such joy to me even though I myself and stewing in the 'I let you down again' place of knowing that I was here when I should have been there.

It's a place I've been at rather frequently and although God forgives my love of this computer and the connectedness it offers me, my husband is left feeling like he's doing it all as he cleans up the parts of the kitchen I didn't and is doing who knows what elsewhere.

I need to remember that I am free to be me, and 'me' is also who my husband sees. As much as I want to carry on here, I need to make sure that my house is in order, to a certain degree at least, lol. It's funny how some wars are won almost instantaneously, yet others are fought for years. This is definitely a years one, as much as I hate to own up to that!!! Give praise to God for He is good, His love endures forever ;)

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