Thursday, May 26, 2011

i'm in a season...

i'm in a season of schooling, cooking and laundry. i'm in a season of driving to lessons, to appointments and errands. i'm in a season of teaching to drive, of baby wearing and my street hockey boy. i'm in a season of crowded, noisy and sleepless.
And i know... that what i'm doing is important and valuable - and even amidst the occasional moments of drudgery, it's a beautiful little life... These seven children need me. They need me to work hard, to be a diligent task master and to gently lead them while i tenderly meet their needs.
There often isn't the time - or the energy - for girls nights out, coffee with other homeschool mama's, shopping with friends...
And that *has* to be ok.
i often hear quarrelling voices in my head - things i have heard like, "You need to make time for YOU, put yourself first - nobody else will, you need some "me" time..."
& maybe those statements are all... a little bit true.
But they do battle with the still small voice that bids me to lay down my rights - and care for these ones i love so very much - in this brief season of service to them.
Seasons come - and seasons go... there is much to be appreciated in this every day beauty of motherhood: My tiny son's shouted, "mama!" as he wakes from his nap, my jammy clad 'nearly teen' - who now stands toe to toe, and forehead to forehead with me as she wraps her arms around me - still needing to be held. My seven year old who sits too close, her hair done in tidy braids by my ten year old - whose earnest eyes beg approval. Sunshine boy - who told me, "i never wanna be five - i only wanna be free!" My oldest darling - who laughs till she cries - and then cries till she laughs... & my long haired boy - with his first short haircut - looking more and more like the man he will become.
i silence the doubts that point out all manner of "good things" i could be doing. i'll take those 'me times' when they come & enjoy them if they do... but not begrudge their absence when they've been pushed aside for worthier pursuits.
i'm in a season...
The air is sweet - the branches are beginning to bear fruit and though my body is weary - there is work to be done, and in this season...
i'll do it.

6 comments:

danyel said...

Beautifully written, just where my heart is at today. Thanks for the reminder.

Carol said...

I agree, beautifully written!

Mandy said...

I breath of freash air for me! Thank you!

Stephanie said...

Wonderful to read this today!

lovefam6 said...

You made me cry! Thank you for justifying that cry of my heart that says I need to be home when others (and occasionally myself) argue that I need to devote time to me. This is the season I'm in, I am dedicated to these littles that infiltrate my heart and hold it captive for themselves, and there is plenty of time for me to feed me. Right now, as I read this blog, I did do something for me.

Lori-Dawn said...

I love what lovefam6 said about your post!!! While I didn't cry, she said exactly what I feel!

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