i'm in a season of schooling, cooking and laundry. i'm in a season of driving to lessons, to appointments and errands. i'm in a season of teaching to drive, of baby wearing and my street hockey boy. i'm in a season of crowded, noisy and sleepless.
And i know... that what i'm doing is important and valuable - and even amidst the occasional moments of drudgery, it's a beautiful little life... These seven children need me. They need me to work hard, to be a diligent task master and to gently lead them while i tenderly meet their needs.
There often isn't the time - or the energy - for girls nights out, coffee with other homeschool mama's, shopping with friends...
And that *has* to be ok.
i often hear quarrelling voices in my head - things i have heard like, "You need to make time for YOU, put yourself first - nobody else will, you need some "me" time..."
& maybe those statements are all... a little bit true.
But they do battle with the still small voice that bids me to lay down my rights - and care for these ones i love so very much - in this brief season of service to them.
Seasons come - and seasons go... there is much to be appreciated in this every day beauty of motherhood: My tiny son's shouted, "mama!" as he wakes from his nap, my jammy clad 'nearly teen' - who now stands toe to toe, and forehead to forehead with me as she wraps her arms around me - still needing to be held. My seven year old who sits too close, her hair done in tidy braids by my ten year old - whose earnest eyes beg approval. Sunshine boy - who told me, "i never wanna be five - i only wanna be free!" My oldest darling - who laughs till she cries - and then cries till she laughs... & my long haired boy - with his first short haircut - looking more and more like the man he will become.
i silence the doubts that point out all manner of "good things" i could be doing. i'll take those 'me times' when they come & enjoy them if they do... but not begrudge their absence when they've been pushed aside for worthier pursuits.
i'm in a season...
The air is sweet - the branches are beginning to bear fruit and though my body is weary - there is work to be done, and in this season...
i'll do it.