Thursday, September 9, 2010

i want my mom.

Yeh, i know... i just celebrated my 34th birthday...
But i still have moments of neediness.
i know... i run a big house. i homeschool 5 children while caring for 2 sweet little boys. i cook meals, i do laundry, i work *hard*.
But sometimes, i want my mom.
The other day i wanted my mom.
i wanted to bring her my baby & watch her hold him & laugh over his funny little facial expressions.
i wanted to escape to my mom's house - have tea with her - & sit on her couch.
Just for a minute or two...
i want my mom to come & watch me sing on Saturday.
i want my mom to sew Ephraim some wool soaker "longies".
i want my mom to admire Peyton's title page for her science unit.
i want my mom to offer to drive Cai to her violin coaching - just 'cause she really wants to watch.
i want her to see our usual daily grind - instead of the crazed excitement of a visit after a long absence.
i want my mom to pop in - just 'cause she can - just 'cause she's close - just 'cause we're on her mind...
Neil likes to torment me that i'll never be able to be what i want for all our crew...
i prefer to remember that stranger things have happened than 7 children all living in close proximity to their parents.
& so in the middle of the day - i snuck to the phone... i left a message because they were out on the ocean getting a big fat salmon.
& today she called me back. We got all caught up - & my child's heart was comforted by her warm "dulcet tones" as Ancient One (her father, my grandfather) would say. It has been 15 years since we've lived in close proximity... i wonder if one day - we'll have that again.
But for now, i need to go...
There's a tiny boy...
who wants his mom too.

6 comments:

Melissa said...

My mom hasn't been to see us since Meaghan was 5 days old - she's now 16 months. She only lives an hour and 10 minutes away. She still hasn't returned my phone calls. So, I can't totally relate your post, but I do like it... and am thankful for you being blessed this way. It's definitely a gift.

Anonymous said...

Funny, my mom weighed heavily on my mind during the night and this morning, although I had a quick chat with her yesterday.
It's interesting how we never stop needing "mom". Maybe I'll give her another call tonight. Seems like a gentle nudge with my feelings and your blog post following.
Wishing with you that mom was closer:)

Carlee

Lori-Dawn said...

yup...gotta say I'm a little jealous of my sister sometimes...living 6 blocks away from my mom.

Stephanie said...

I want my mom too but until Jesus calls me home to be with her, I will just remember.

paige said...

Stephanie & Melissa - i actually thought of you both when i wrote this post...
It's amazing the impact & the influence of our mamas... makes me conscious of the job i'm doing... Stephanie - i love how your mom obviously still impacts so many of the decisions you've made.

mamalena said...

It would be a dream come true for me too Paige......

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