Tuesday, February 2, 2010

The heart of God

When i post things like what i posted yesterday, i am fully aware that there are people who read it & want to roll their eyes & say, "Gimme a break... make all things right? There is *nothing* right about what i'm going through in my life right now..."
One time i remember being questioned about my faith. The person was harsh, angry... & maybe a little drunk. The asker wondered about historical discrepancies, the accuracy of the bible & the intentions of so called, "leaders of the church..." - Stuff i bet almost any Christian has wondered about themselves... i know i sure have.
After a particularly long rant about the flood, he turned to me & said, "Well, what do you have to say about that??"
i told him that there were a whole lot of things that i didn't know - but i would love to talk about some of the things i do know.
"Like what?"
"Well, i believe that *there is a God*"
i wasn't sure what his response would be - but after some thought, he acknowledged that yes, he believed there was a God too.
"If you believe in God - then you're faced with the obvious question... Is God Good? i believe that He is."
i think that's the place where a lot of us - Christian or no - get stuck.
Is God's heart good?
There are so many things that we don't understand about our Father. Why is there hurt & pain? Why are my children suffering? Why has Haiti been devastated? Why did that evil person escape punishment? Why didn't He step in & save the day? Why do i still feel so sad & hurt by circumstances - when He could have prevented my pain?
i think it's at times like this that i've had to take a step back & return to what i *do* know. i know that God is good. His purposes might be completely beyond my understanding... but i've come to a place where i recognize that -
He loves me so much...
He is so completely trustworthy...
& He is so Holy - ...
That it would be silly for me to try to stack up evidence against Him.
Resting in that knowledge is a really hard thing for a lot of people to do, i've noticed. There's a lot of anger, bitterness & resentment... but it only serves to hold us back. People say, "God is big enough to handle your disappointment, anger... emotional tidal wave..."
& He is...
But why rage against the One who loves us the most?
Why not press into His Good Heart - & seek to follow & submit to His molding on our tender, teachable hearts?
It reminds me of a little one who's hurt. They're angry & trying to protect their tiny wound - & as their mama reaches out to comfort them, they smack her away & flail their tender tiny bodies to the ground in despair.
Yeh, mama's big enough to handle baby's anger - but her mother's heart wants to comfort - to hold & love.
i think God is like that...
i think He wants to teach us... hold us... love us... be Our Father...
if we'd just let Him...

4 comments:

Andrea Leder said...

I have to say, I'm glad baby didn't come last night. I love waking up to new Paige posts! You are free to go and deliver now. I have enough to chew on for the day :)

Lori-Dawn said...

I love your analogy of the hurt little one and the tender mama...God is SOOO like that, and yet here I am kicking and screaming...sigh...trying hard not to play victim...

Mindy said...

Very well said... In my women's Bible study, a few years ago we did a study on the character of God. It was really eye-opening. Something that I've learned over the years is to "camp on what I know." In the midst of uncertainty and confusion, I have to cling to what I *do* know. To remember how faithful He's been, how He's been there in the past... and who He is.

mamalena said...

Father has been so slandered. It's no wonder we kick and scream. His justice is always assumed to be punishment (and eternal punishment at that) when really it is making things right....that are not right now. The truth is that He loves us....He's not Jesus's mean dad... He's EXACTLY like Jesus.

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