Friday, February 5, 2010

9th midwife appointment...

i knew we'd have to talk about it eventually...
The fact that all the due dates have come & gone...
& this little one is still comfy and growing inside...
i brought my dreamy eyed Sloanie with me - & she soothed me with her silence & smiled at me as we left - holding my hand as i sighed.
It was little disappointments - miscommunication & misunderstanding about the possibilities of locations for birth... a swift, late change of heart on my husband's part - & the seeming impossibility of changing directions this late in the game.
i declined the biophysical profile-
and the cervical sweep-
and the "herbal induction" -
and even the cervical check -
My body seemed to be saying, "Leave me alone..."
or maybe it was the tiny one inside... begging for more time... needing just a few more days to be ready to meet the world.
My midwife smiled sympathetically - not pushing - but sensing my own sensitivity.
"We'll call you on Monday if you're still pregnant & book that last appointment... k?"
It took me till evening to pull up my bootstraps, tend to my fragile state & remind myself that each day was a fresh opportunity for baby to come... we were just talking about the possibilities in the future... we still had days and days before we had to talk about interventions again...
So, now i tell those thoughts to quit nagging at the back of my mind...
i have a tiny one - growing - to enjoy - for whatever time there is left in this precious expectant time.


& Tiny One, enjoy you, i will...

19 comments:

Andrea Leder said...

Hugs to you! I had a dream last night that you delivered a girl named Jeurgen??? I guess I was feeling a little euro. Get those babes of yours to give you some good long foot massages today. :)

Stephanie said...

They don't stay in forever. I hope and pray you will continue to find peace in the last few days as Baby stays close in you.

Stephanie

Prvbs31Mama said...

You have diapers now Paige...so you're ready to go..lol
Hugs, and remember, you don't HAVE to do anything the dr.'s tell you to! You're allowed to not answer the phone and just go to the hospital when you're good and ready. Do what you need to in order to avoid the stress.
Blessings to you! oh and the reference in your card is Leviticus...lol I'll learn Hebrew if it kills me!

Mindy said...

(*sigh*) I'm not even sure what I want to say...except, I feel for you!! I love your attitude about the babe needing a few more days, a little more time. And I hope the number of those days is completed before next week begins....

Prvbs31Mama said...

Oh hey...you wanna come tobogganing on Sunday?? lol Might jar things a little...hehe
ORRRR I have an extra ticket to the health show at the stampede grounds this weekend...you could walk baby out...lol
mind you...if I was you, I'd just stay comfy knowing baby will come when ready...lol

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Anonymous said...

Baby can't come yet... we need the rest of the birth stories!!! So that gives you a few more days to go yet...

Saskatchewan Cousin

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