My friend Fawne - over at Beauty in Weakness wrote THIS post at the end of November.
It resonated with me in a deep powerful way - even though i am not barren.
In it, she talked about pain - & specifically the pain of barrenness, feeling like God's curse...
& isn't that like our world? To kick someone when they're down - to assume when their child is sick that there is sin in their life, to write them off because they've been through a divorce, to point out their greatest agony & then say, "God's doing that because you're bad."
Sometimes pain comes into our lives uninvited. This world can be a dark, scary place. Pain... is inevitable.
i want to add my voice to Fawne's voice of calm certainty...
pain.....for a believer....is God's stamp of love on your heart.
Pain is God saying...."Child. I am crazy about you."
Ohhhhh - & i hear you saying... (because i'm saying it too) - if this is true... wow - God is most certainly playing favourites with me. See? i've got these broken, jagged scars to prove it. i've got my disintegrated family, my sickness, my loss - & it sure doesn't feel like God's love to me.
But, He's in it...
He's in it.
Pain doesn't mean that you did anything wrong. Pain doesn't mean you brought your current circumstances upon yourself by your own state of worthlessness. Pain isn't something that only people who are the very smartest & best can avoid, & if it comes into your life... well then, you're a miserable failure. Sometimes we get away with sin scot- free in this life... & sometimes in innocence, we're brought through a desert of pain...
i'm hurting lately.
i know... it's obvious... i don't think i could ever be one of those crafty mama blogs, or homeschooling genius sites... i don't have an amazing story - or an unusual talent... but i reach into my pockets & i pull out the little treasures he's put there... a nickel, candy wrapper, length of string and a plastic frog... i hold them up & like MacGyver, my God uses what little i've got & creates something amazing.
& so i'll blog my hurt - my current pain - i'll see it as His stamp of love & share the trinkets in my pockets - trusting Him to finish what He started.
4 comments:
Your writing is such a beautiful gift.
You touch people even in your own pain.
Hugs.
P.S. You are loved!!!!
I think you have lots of unusual talents: How many mothers can sing, write songs and play the piano like you? How many have written a book and can write a blog like you? How many love and homeschool 7 children? You have much to offer!
And I think....that it's often "those posts" which you write during great pain that I love the most. Somehow, they go to a deep part of my heart and minister in a way that no "light hearted post" ever could. So thank you for continuing to write even in your brokenness.
tears are flowing... going on to part two.
aching. beautiful. thank you. bless you.
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