Monday, April 25, 2011

i wanna be a...

My oldest is gearing up for highschool next year.
With that, come decisions about, 'how are we gonna do this? What are we aiming for? Do we have a direction to prepare for?'
She wants to be a midwife when she grows up... & while i'm quite aware that 14 year olds are notorious for changing their minds & swinging wildly between fantastical 'i wanna be's'...
i have this niggling feeling - this wondering - if perhaps she might really -
wanna be a midwife -when the time comes.
i decided i need to start doing my homework.
i have, after all, an 'i wanna be a...' of my own.
*i* wanna be a momma that facilitates the dream makings of her children. i wanna whisper she can... when others might say she can't. i wanna help her with money, with coaching, with the footwork... i wanna be the kind of momma who trusts our Father - and works behind the scenes, "makin' it happen"...
Her meandering dreams take us to a midwifery program in the Philippines... to thoughts about getting her certfication in Rwanda...
& i wonder...
if it's safe...
For my sweet baby girl over across the ocean - so far from her daddy and me.
But if God wants her there - He'll lead... & if He wants her there - i don't want her here... After all - the very safest place for her to be - is in the center of His will. & no - i'm not talking physical safety here.
So - this is on my mind. i have been hesitant to post it here 'cause i don't want her to feel like she is pigeon holed by her present dreamings, but then i thought, why not record some of the stomach churning questions that have come about in these years with all my little ones still tucked securely in our nest?
& so there it is.
Right now - around the dinner table we hear, i wanna be:
the owner of the Mac's store,
a police officer,
a karate master,
a mommy,
a lifeguard,
a firefighter,
a ballet dancer...
a midwife.
& me? i have dreams too... & part of my dreams are to revel in watching my children fulfil theirs.


Lesley said...

I actually know a midwife in Rwanda. She trains midwives. Midwifery (sp?) is such a fab thing to want to be. We all need someone amazing beside us as our little people come into the world...:-)

Alisdair said...

I thought Britain was the place to go for midwives?? At least that's where they have alot of ones that practice in hospitals... Is there a particularly good program in Rwanda?? I have a FB friend who is a midwife in Arizona and I think she took all her training in the States.

I have a ballet dancer here too... Big recital Sunday afternoon, May 1!

Saskatchewan Cousin

Lori-Dawn said...

Such a beautiful post Paige...I wanna be that mom too...that gives her children a hand up into their dreams as our Father plants those dreams in them. I'd love to be a midwife too...but perhaps that's a dream for later in life.


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