entering in

Some people are *too* empathetic... They get so caught up in the needs and wants of hurting people that sometimes they could almost drown themselves...
This post is not for those people.
It's for the rest of us - those of us who hear of hurts, aching sorrows - and we lack the words to comfort. We know the needs - but are unable to fill it. We hold back - claiming to be afraid of barging in on someones private pain - but relieved that we have an excuse to say - and do - nothing.
My cheeks burn even writing that paragraph because i know... i know that people are important - and that God gives me opportunities to *enter in* - to His precious lambs' sorrows... and i have squandered them. i have been afraid to make eye contact - or to listen... *really listen*. i have been too engrossed in my own journey, too exhausted by my own needs - too busy, too tired, too happy...
i remember one time, being almost blown over with the enormity of a friend's loss. i told Neil that she couldn't possibly want to hear anything that i had to say... and that even if she did, i had no words for what she was going through.
Neil *so gently* scolded me.
"You gotta at least throw a lifeline, paige... She can take it, or leave it, but you gotta at least throw one, so she knows it's there..."
And so... tentatively, i went to my computer - and wrote a brief message.
Obedient to the soft chastisement of my husband, but more so to the whisper in the wind that prodded my soul.
Scared? Yes!! i was really terrified that my words could possibly cause even *more* pain... but i bathed that little email in tears, love and prayers - and then pressed 'send'.
This is a really, really hard thing for me. i don't know what to say - or how to say it. i'm not good with gifts, nor do i have the ability to physically *be there* - sharing in painful silences. i'm not overly social - and just getting out of my house takes me beyond my comfort zone. i know that i can't be all to all - and i need to be here for my little ones - despite the fact that there are angry waves of hurt and pain happening in the lives of people that i love...
But...
i pray for softness, for courage when those opportunities arise - for willingness to sacrifice my own comfort, my own laughter (for a moment), my own satisfied soul - and enter in... gently - to the pain of another.