snapshot

Ephraim turned 4 months old on Sunday.

Will i remember these crazy days?

Will i remember it all wrong - or will there be crystal clear memories burned into my mind of this type of day...

i woke up... tired.

i had been up a few times in the night, but i couldn't for the life of me tell you at what times & who the culprits were.

Neil was one of them..

Up at 4 to get to the airport in time to catch his flight to Toronto. He passed me in the hallway & grabbed me for a quick hug & a kiss as i wandered back to bed.

He smelled so good.

i was grateful for the chance at another couple of hours as he drove off into the night.

i showered - quickly - knowing how many showers needed to happen.

My morning is a rush - balancing the needs of baby boys & adolescent girls. Breastfeeding a tiny wisp of heaven, doing pig-tails, lending T-shirts, making bagels, mediating a squabble, drying tears and listening to a story. Over the rabble, spelling the word, "yesterday", adding to the shopping list, packing a diaper bag and grabbing music. Making sure little ones have eaten, dressed, been loved on and brushed their hair and teeth. Grabbing an extra receiving blanket 'cause he just ate & we all know for every bit that goes down, some of it needs to come back up.

Stopping...

to smooch his drooly little face & being rewarded with a radiant smile.

Someone takes sweet 2 year old potty & i grab shoes for the one i saw leave without them.

Big sigh...

Big van...

Our neighbours are still building their garage, so i gingerly back out of our garage with our silver fox after counting little blond heads.

Smiling as i hear apologies happening...

These days...

These moments.

They're not frustrating. They're just *life*. There's lots of action, lots of words, lots of noise... & lots of love.

Times 7.

That evening - it was almost bedtime... & i happened to glance down at a sheet of paper from the church service we went to... It was dated June 13th...

He's 4 months old.

His little roundy cheeks are filling out - his little head is looking more boyish all the time... his tiny grasping fingers are getting covered with a healthy layer of chubs.

His babyhood is getting picked up like a dry leaf in the fall, whipped from the ground - carried far away to wherever that magical place is that babyhoods go when they get all used up. i plan to enjoy every twist and turn that little leaf makes before it flies out of my life...

i love these days.

i would take a hundred more just like them...