Got stuck in traffic tonight... crazy, long, sit at a dead stop stuck in traffic.
i got thinking about this song.
y'know that line, "take my heart, conform it..."
i got stuck there.
Like, long, sit at a dead stop stuck.
i realized that if i give Him my heart...
& He conforms it... it will break.
It will break for the broken, fallen, sinful world we live in.
It will break for the little children who are unsafe in their own homes.
It will break for the poor, the the destitute, the helpless & hopeless.
It will break for my own failures & sin.
If He conforms my heart - & it becomes more like His - & less like the world... it'll be even more uncomfortable. i'll find even less places where i fit in... that human desire 'to be understood' - will be even more of a laughable goal. Don't i know that His ways are not understandable?
Oh, God... if i give you my heart, it won't be safe there, will it?
Sometimes i long for the safety of a hard heart.
It's sort of like a delayed gratification thing isn't it? i give Him my heart now - & he begins a transformation - a work - a demolition... that one day will render my heart beautiful... i need to believe that it's worth it.
So, i take all my knowledge of my Servant King...
& i ask myself, "is He trustworthy?"
The answer is yes...
So, take my hard, dirty heart...
conform it - to Yours...
Break to bits the pieces of me that allow me to conform to a world filled with hatred & distain - & break my heart with your Love. Gone is my impulse to keep crawling off the altar... replaced with a consuming desire to be. more. like. You.