Friday, August 7, 2009

A Freebie...

i asked my mom one time if life was just *constantly* discovering how stupid you were... & thinking, hoping & praying you were finally getting smarter, only to discover weeks, months, years down the road how much you still had to learn.
She laughed and responded, "Yes."
So, here is a freebie that i learned about Neil. Maybe this will resonate with some other wife out there :)
i use to say things to Neil like, "I'm insecure" or "i feel needy".
He would stare at me blankly.
i thought i was being pretty straightforward & he should really know how to respond. Turns out i may as well have been speaking Chinese. He really, honestly had no clue how to respond to those types of prompts. Mulling over this problem the last time i was feeling needy, i tried a new approach.
"i need you to hug me and take me on a date and tell me i look pretty."
imagine my shock when he sprang into action.
Men are like a rubix cube. You gotta just keep trying... & just when you think you've got it figured out, you realize there are 5 other sides...
& they say women are complicated...


Melissa said...

Oh my WORD! This SO resonates with me!!! Every single word of it!!

Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone in my confusion of men... they really are complicated creatures, aren't they?

Jen said...

Heheh! I like this one.
(well, I like ALL of your posts but especially ones like this).
And I bet after you told him you needed a hug, a date, etc, he overly accomplished those things and your needs were met!

I'm not straight forward either but Brian is pretty good at pulling things out of me when he has no clue what I am saying/needing.

Minerva said...

I read somewhere (maybe in Men are from Mars?) that men are actually VERY simple. We overestimate how much they can understand of our feelings, when they usually do very well if you give them a specific request. To him, "I feel needy" doesn't give him anything to do. To say "tell me I'm pretty and take me on a date", he can DO those things. So that is great advice!! It also works when you need help with the house, etc: "Can you please do the dishes?" instead of "Can you help me clean up around here?" :) I'm learning after 8 years. :) They usually want to help but don't really know what you want unless you're specific.

Vanessa said...

Thanks Paige! Super advice!! I seriously think you need to write a book!!

Sanctum's Muse said...

I can totally relate. Fortunately for me and my husband, we are good communicators. I learned that men are very much task-oriented: give them a task to do, and they're on it! I think the reason is that they are afraid of failing or disappointing women. Say, "Help me clean up around here," and he fears doing the wrong task or not doing enough. Say, "Do the dishes," and he knows exactly how to make you happy!

Great post!

Prvbs31Mama said...

ROFL...that's hilarious!

mamazee said...

T is pretty good at figuring out what i need based on cues like that - BUT the part that really resonates with me is just how simple he is, on the inside. Not dumb, not shallow. But really, most needs can be met through one of two ways (one is food :)...)


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