Wednesday, April 29, 2009

My Plate

i feel almost guilty sometimes.

i have friends who are busy -continually - with doctor's appointments, poor health, demanding jobs, sadness - (yes, you can be busy with sadness... ) With joy - sleepless baby nights, working on milk supply, constantly giving, going - with the tasks that are just a normal part of *life*.

i've found lately that my plate is getting lighter. My 'biggies' are starting to outnumber my 'littles'. It has been beautiful to me to see my guys becoming more self-sufficient - & sure helps me to drink in this (short) phase of Gagey's babyhood. (i know, if anyone is reading this, they're likely rolling eyes correcting me... fine -'toddlerhood' - but c'mon, give a girl a break here!)

So, some things on my plate have grown legs and walked away - some have been gently removed by others & i find myself saying, as i've heard my husband say on a good day, 'This game is easy.'

It's not easy - sometimes i wish if things were removed from my plate, it could be toilets and dusting... but we don't always get to choose what our jobs are & like it or not, i don't think toilets and dusting are going *anywhere*. (Right now, i'm scratching my head, trying to remember when the last time is that i did those 2 disliked chores & i'm thinkin' it's time i actually did them instead of whining about them! hehe)

So, i try to stave off the babyfever - & choose other healthy, good activities to round out my plate & keep me working hard. It's hard though - that desire & openness for life seems somehow to have been hardwired into me - & it's like a nervous energy that i'm trying to cap & i don't quite know what to do with it. Seems so unnatural to work against it.

& then, if you let it, your plate can just stack itself higher & higher with those toilets and dusters - & pretty soon that's all you would do - if you let it go that far.

So, i'm being choosy... i'm keeping my blog on my plate because it is like a nice piece of broccoli (let's be clear here - i love broccoli) a little outlet to hear my own heart... amidst the increasing volume in my home... i'm gonna set some nice short term physical goals for me & my guys as they train for their triathlons in August... i'm gonna ask God to help me say, "Yes, please" & "No, thank you" as the opportunities are passed. & i promise... i'll do the toilets and dusting at some point too.

& i'm gonna look upon what seems to me to be a nicely balanced plate - in this season of my life - with gratitude.

1 comment:

Courtney said...

loved it Paige! If you're plate is ever too empty let me know, I'd love to come for a chit chat :)


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