i was thinking today about how my hopeful, shiny dreams about homeschooling aren't so shiny anymore.
i wasn't completely deluded when i started... i wondered if i'd have the 'stick-to-it-iveness' to even make it through that first year. i told myself that even if she learned nothing in grade 1, at least i could put her in for grade 2 & she'd likely catch up.
But - i have to admit, in the back of my mind - i wanted all those articles i'd read to be true. Articles that told me that my homeschooled kids would be brilliantly smart, independent thinkers... motivated learners just basking in the freedom of the learning environment that i had created. i wanted the academic success - even though i admitted to myself that my main goals were to foster a loving relationship between siblings in our family - & most importantly - to give myself the huge amount of time daily that i believed i needed to keep Jesus in the forefront of their upbringing.
Now? Seven years in - nope - my dreams aren't so shiny. But not much else has changed. My secret, lofty dreams of having a housefull of Einsteins hasn't happened... Yes, i've got some really smart ones... & i've got ones who will always struggle with schooly stuff... i've got some kids in some areas where they're really, really weak... (maybe even as a result of my poor teaching ability...) i've got others who have these areas of enormous strength. Basically what i've got is a whole homeschool fulla 'normal'. And normal, as it turns out, works out just fine with what my original goals were.
My first goals that i set out for myself in my homeschooling journey were the very ones that are still the most important to me. Yeh, i wanted that shiny apple of academics... but what i *really* wanted & what i still so desperately want now - was the homeschool lifestyle that facilitated my true goals of a tightknit family that loved Jesus.
These are the goals that are just now starting to blossom and bear fruit. It will be years and years before we get to harvest it - but we only get one chance and i want to 'give it all' to the task that God set before me when He gave me my little ones.
So, God - give me what i need to point them toward you.
Give me wisdom as i help them prepare for life outside these walls.
Give me a vision for their future - and the ways that You would choose to use them.
Give me patience as we learn, relearn, absorb and use the lessons before us.
Let our little homeschool, Chrysalis Academy, bring You glory.
Chrysalis - 1 a: a pupa of a butterfly ; broadly : an insect pupa b: the enclosing case or covering of a pupa2: a protecting covering : a sheltered state or stage of being or growth