Wednesday, July 18, 2012

my friends know who they are

i've always been one of those *horribly annoying* people who thinks nobody likes them.  Since i'm aware of the horrible annoyingness of this personality type, i *try my best* to shut up about it when i'm feeling particularly unlovable. 
Many, many things have contributed to this broken view of my own self - & while i know i'm not the only one who feels like they should apologize profusely for every conversation exchange - i find this timid way of living to be more than a little exhausting. 
Lately though... it feels like my friends won't be explained away. 
They keep trying when i don't respond. 
They wind the roots of our friendships around my heart and bind it together so that it can heal. 
They pray with me... like real prayers - for me, with me, over me...
They encourage me... ask me questions... dig deeper... and believe me...
Their expectations are non existent - and they minister to me tirelessly - without being asked.  They are mostly wives and mama's, older, younger, wiser, funnier, full of kindness - and a welcoming sense of community...
And i can't help but believe that they like me. 
And even if they didn't - i know that i would have more than enough...
So the fact that they do - seems like some crazy, undeserved richness. 
And i think the richness of my friendships is a gift from my Father who whispers to me, "i love my people, Paige... i love you and i love these women too - sharpen each other, extend grace, be gentle and humbly offer truth to each other..."
People are hard.  We're all broken - insecure, proud, incompetent, thoughtless, angry, selfish, insensitive or ultra sensitive...
But people are also precious.  Each one has unique giftings - hilarious quirks, tender mercies, unbelievable strengths - humble offerings that make the vulnerability of true friendship worth it. 
So friends?  i'm so glad that you're in my life... please stay awhile and let's grow together.

6 comments:

Kali said...

Love this Paige. I think you're a treasure and am honoured to call you friend :)

Lisa said...

we don't just like you paige, we love you :)

mamalena said...

I will count myself in, because even though i am your Mama...I am also your sister and your friend. AND I LOVE YOU! (probably that insecurity was inherited genetically from me...sorry)

Jen said...

What Lisa said.

stephanie said...

You are amazing Paige!! And I really understand this post.

Anonymous said...

;) Miss ya.

Carlee

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