Tuesday, August 2, 2011

you led me to believe

i remember when i was a little girl, my big sister's friend introduced her to "Sweet Comfort Band" - & the song, "You Led Me to Believe"...
& i would steal her walkman & listen to that rock ballad in my messy room... & the song stirred in my childish heart - the aching loneliness of standing on your own, when the ones who have most deeply impacted your faith, turn from it. 
& i'm learning - that my faith isn't dependent on my company. 
It can't be.  
There are times in life - where you want to turn to those ones closest to you & know that you're in this together... and there are times when the realization that you're not... will be a dreadful blow. 
But truth?  It's not decided my a majority vote - as the saying goes... Truth can't be held at gunpoint, or changed by convenience.  Truth isn't swayed, bent or forced. 
But i've seen truth shunned, and scorned - ignored or rejected... and in humility - she stands unchanged and unrepentant... waiting for acknowledgement. 
That loneliness that comes from others rejecting your common faith - is such a tiny price to pay for holding the course.  There is a comfort that even when i feel insignificant, unable and unworthy... My Father all the while is holding me, and whispering my name - telling me *i'm known*.  He works still in my mentor's heart and life... in ways i feel sure i'll never get to see, but i'm His too - & He won't ever let me go. 
The things that my mentor taught me... those things were true then, and they remain true now...
Despite the aching loneliness that my mentor's absence brings. 

2 comments:

fawne said...

paige....the beauty this "aloneness" is creating in you is truly breathtaking.

lovefam6 said...

True, but still heart wrenching all the same.

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