Tuesday, August 2, 2011

you led me to believe

i remember when i was a little girl, my big sister's friend introduced her to "Sweet Comfort Band" - & the song, "You Led Me to Believe"...
& i would steal her walkman & listen to that rock ballad in my messy room... & the song stirred in my childish heart - the aching loneliness of standing on your own, when the ones who have most deeply impacted your faith, turn from it. 
& i'm learning - that my faith isn't dependent on my company. 
It can't be.  
There are times in life - where you want to turn to those ones closest to you & know that you're in this together... and there are times when the realization that you're not... will be a dreadful blow. 
But truth?  It's not decided my a majority vote - as the saying goes... Truth can't be held at gunpoint, or changed by convenience.  Truth isn't swayed, bent or forced. 
But i've seen truth shunned, and scorned - ignored or rejected... and in humility - she stands unchanged and unrepentant... waiting for acknowledgement. 
That loneliness that comes from others rejecting your common faith - is such a tiny price to pay for holding the course.  There is a comfort that even when i feel insignificant, unable and unworthy... My Father all the while is holding me, and whispering my name - telling me *i'm known*.  He works still in my mentor's heart and life... in ways i feel sure i'll never get to see, but i'm His too - & He won't ever let me go. 
The things that my mentor taught me... those things were true then, and they remain true now...
Despite the aching loneliness that my mentor's absence brings. 


fawne said...

paige....the beauty this "aloneness" is creating in you is truly breathtaking.

lovefam6 said...

True, but still heart wrenching all the same.


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