Wednesday, August 24, 2011

conversations...

i'm at the beach with my cousin.  She's actually my cousin's wife - but we get mistaken for sisters as frequently as we're together.  She's a kindred spirit when we connect every year or so - with her blonde brood of seven similar aged children - homeschooling in the peripheral, seeking God in the fore-front - type girl...
"i was saying to someone the other day..." i start... but then remember and correct myself... "No, actually, i was just saying to my own self in my own small mind the other day..."
& we laughed over my realization. 
But it's an often lonely trail - this journey through life. 
i'm flocked by my little ones - and a husband i adore - & yet i enter His presence... alone.
The still small Voice meets me in the loneliest corners of my mind - where all the rough edges are naked and exposed. 
& when i speak out loud into the vast silence that exists in that small mind of mine - He hears.

Father - meet with me - converse with me - bring out my frailty, and delight in any beauty you bestow.  Be the company - when i think my conversations. 

i have been a little more absent lately... i have pages of notes for *tough* blogposts... i just have to decide if i'm tough enough to actually write them.  i feel perched on the edge of transitions - & it makes me realize what a funny little bird i am - with my constant fluffing of feathers and exasperated readjusting over the disturbances of life.  Growth - like any good thing - is so very costly. 
But - the end of August is coming... Fall is coming - & i'm getting ready to grow. 

4 comments:

Mandy said...

"Getting ready to grow" I feel it too and it is an uncomfortable feeling! I kind of like my summer cocoon!!

mamazee said...

This is so me, too... Especially right now. life has changed so drastically over the past few weeks, and the OCD in me wants to just shut down and process - but the realist in me says "just go with the flow! If you possibly can!!!"...

Looking forward to your tough blogposts - i feel like you are on the cusp of something right now, and that's an uncomfortable place to be, but i know God is leading and guiding, and you are where you are supposed to be. So proud of you, and love you so much...

stephanie

Kali said...

Oh Paige- you are such a kindred Spirit too and I treasure our times together! Your writing- your courage- your thoughts- it all inspires me and have shaped the course of my life over the years knowing you, your family and your beautiful wise sisters! I think many conversations too- so glad our kind Papa loves to listen. Thanks for your boldness to share- your breakthrough is always for someone else's breakthrough!

fawne said...

I miss your daily posts. Come baaaaaaaaaack!!!

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