i'm at the beach with my cousin. She's actually my cousin's wife - but we get mistaken for sisters as frequently as we're together. She's a kindred spirit when we connect every year or so - with her blonde brood of seven similar aged children - homeschooling in the peripheral, seeking God in the fore-front - type girl...
"i was saying to someone the other day..." i start... but then remember and correct myself... "No, actually, i was just saying to my own self in my own small mind the other day..."
& we laughed over my realization.
But it's an often lonely trail - this journey through life.
i'm flocked by my little ones - and a husband i adore - & yet i enter His presence... alone.
The still small Voice meets me in the loneliest corners of my mind - where all the rough edges are naked and exposed.
& when i speak out loud into the vast silence that exists in that small mind of mine - He hears.
Father - meet with me - converse with me - bring out my frailty, and delight in any beauty you bestow. Be the company - when i think my conversations.
i have been a little more absent lately... i have pages of notes for *tough* blogposts... i just have to decide if i'm tough enough to actually write them. i feel perched on the edge of transitions - & it makes me realize what a funny little bird i am - with my constant fluffing of feathers and exasperated readjusting over the disturbances of life. Growth - like any good thing - is so very costly.
But - the end of August is coming... Fall is coming - & i'm getting ready to grow.