Tuesday, December 14, 2010

do i trust him...?

i guess i'm taking a deep breath and plunging into some of the questions i have heard - or that have been impressed on me - in this travelling season of my husband's career.
There's a short answer - and i'm gonna expand just a little bit on it too.
Each of us have different circumstances - different husbands - different atmospheres on different types of business trips - different contacts, requirements, meeting places...
So, even among women whose husbands travel, this question won't always come up.
But when it does, my short answer is, "yes."
When i began to hear this question more frequently, i have to admit i second guessed my initial gut reaction of blind trust. i wondered if i was being naive to let my heart traipse around in Neil's pocket... But after some soul searching - and genuine reflection - i realized that i only really have 2 choices.
One option is to make my husband's job a nightmare. i could beg him to quit, offer ultimatums, phone and harass him on the road, and make unrealistic requirements about days home and away, numbers of emails, and minutes on the phone...
or...
i can choose to enjoy my marriage, his hours at home - & the sweetness of each minute in these busy years.
My heart spoke quietly to me - so i had to listen very carefully... but i'm sure now, that my instinct to *trust* - without agonizing, isn't based on laziness towards my marriage - because my marriage is precious to me...
& so - on the home days as well as the away days, we pray for him. i pray specifically for Neil's heart to be turned to us - & for our hearts to be turned to his...
& i'm sure my Father understands that this means i want us each to stay tender, focused and attentive to the other. i pray for neil to be given favour at work - with his bosses, and customers - and that he will be a man of integrity.
i am intentional in my efforts to connect - to touch, to love - because the extra work that comes with having a husband who travels is secondary to the dangers of neglect...
So, while he's away - i'll faithfully water the tender shoots of our love - protecting them in the wild weather that is sure to come from time to time, and making sure there are times when they get to bask in the sunshine so they can continue to grow strong...

4 comments:

Alisdair said...

Very wise post... husbands don't have to travel to be unfaithful to their wives and families... sometimes it happens right under your nose and you aren't even aware of it (that's what happened to me!)... so I think you're taking the right approach to the issue. Why would one want to stray from a loving home? The grass may look greener on the other side, but guaranteed it's not and any man worth his salt realizes that home with the kiddos and the wife is better than a lonely hotel room with reruns on the telly!

Saskatchewan Cousin

Treena said...

You are brilliant. Period.

paige said...

haha - so not, Treena -
but i hope i'm learning...

Jen said...

I think this is totally what marriage is all about. Working together through each circumstance and situation of your marriage/family life and not against. Makes everything sweeter when you make the best of things instead of nitpicking and complaining about it.
I believe so much in being a support in marriage and making home a haven for my hubby to come home too.
Awesome post P.

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