Outside the Picture Frame

Neil bought me an awesome camera - it takes beautiful pictures.
i have even spent some time learning how to take better pictures & i hope that over these next years, i'll get better at it...
But there are so many, many images that happen outside the picture frame...
i didn't get any pictures at Fiddle Fantasia because i was back stage, carrying my sweet little lump of fudge & watching out for my girl.
and then...
i didn't get any at their violin recital either -
even though i brought my camera -
i had to accompany 2 girls, and during the third one, i was shushing an impatient 2 year old.
So many opportunities like this seem to fly by in these crazy days.
i wonder sometimes if all these beautiful memories we're making will disappear & they'll forget all the amazing things they accomplished because i didn't manage to snap a picture of it.
and so...
once again...
a verbal snapshot.
Sloanie - daddy said that you look just like me - & i have to admit that once i thought i was looking into the mirror when i glanced at you out of the corner of my eye & i thought to myself, "Man, i look good today..." *smile*
You're looking so grown up. Your personality is coming out in the way you dress and i love your style, girlie. You wore your dark coloured dress with your funky boots & your new sweater. Your up-do lasted all night & even though you were scared, i saw none of it in the poised young lady who took the stage & played so beautifully.
Peyton, i love that you wanted to wear my emerald green dress. It made your sparkly eyes dance. i was so proud when you added your vibrato and took your playing up to a new level despite the fact that your broken wrist really slowed you down this year.
Cai, i wish i had pictures of each of the 12 outfits you tried on. Seems you can wear almost anything. i loved how you started your piece at a tempo that was almost too fast, but you held on to those reigns and played for dear life. Life is full of ballads & slow sombre music... it was fun to see you play like you were chased and pull it off so masterfully.
& there's more...
a feverish yum laying his head on his daddy's shoulder while his daddy checked his blackberry for the hundredth time. Mollen dressed up like a wood faerie, but bored to tears after the first number. Charter who finally had a shower and shocked us with his handsomeness - after seeming weeks of stinky little boyness. Gagey who needed many trips to the water fountain, and even more trips to the snack table, whose single tear stayed on his cheek for what seemed like forever after his sobs had ceased when he fell on the hard floor of the college.
and mama - who is usually outside the picture frame anyway - trying to balance, juggle, accompany, watch - and who let out a sigh as we drove home in the dark.
Not a single picture...
But so much of life is lived outside the picture frame.
& so much of it is good, worthy of being recorded, full of beauty and effort and skill...
So little ones, know that i cherish you all - and i'm so proud of the hard work that you are pouring into these years. Keep living and learning - whether the camera clicks...
or not.