well, i certainly don't want a doctor to 'humour' me... but if there's something not right, i'd like one to help me get to the bottom of it. Had the u/s in the north east. Neil couldn't make it again. y'know, i would love if God could arrange just a teeny pay back. Like if Neil had to drink several litres of water and then follow a map to a location 30 minutes away in heavy traffic that he's never been to before ~ having to stop and ask directions of several people who don't speak english and finally having to wait in a waiting room while they try to find your referral that hasn't been faxed over. Once at the appointment, Neil could have his full, exploding bladder massaged ruthlessly by man named IGOR who also has difficulty with english (at this point, it would help if Neil were a woman, had his period and 5 small children waiting in the waiting room with several more people who don't speak english). Finally, Neil would be allowed to drain his bladder, and would be told that now they were going to do an internal ultrasound. (i can imagine the look of discomfort on his face). Neil would then be told that he has to undress from the waist down. Then lie on a ramp so his bottom is up in the air (he's lying at about a 60 degree angle with a paper nightgown on) He's at such a steep incline, he'll have difficulty inserting the embarrassing contraption, but he'll manage. After a LONG, embarrassing, examination with a woman "chaperone" (as Igor says)... Neil will be told to put his knees together and HOLD THE CONTRAPTION between his legs while Igor goes to get the radiologist to discuss the results. After several minutes of uncomfortable small talk with the chaperone, Neil might casually inquire (while lying with his bottom in the air with a contraption shoved inside him, in a paper nightgown)... "ummm, when do you think Igor will come back?" the chaperone won't know. so he'll try to avoid eye contact while she quizzes him on his extraordinary family size. Finally, the chaperone (maybe she gets uncomfortable too... Neil's legs are shaking by now) decides to go see where Igor is. They both return several minutes later and Igor says he couldn't find the radiologist, so he will thankfully remove the contraption from between Neil's legs. Several minutes later, Igor leaves the room so Neil could dress and drive home by a different route because there would be an accident on the deerfoot and he would need to phone me for a different way home (i would know how to get home & in the background Neil would be able to hear the clink of cutlery as i'd be eating my lunch). That would be a nice little change of affairs... i wonder if there would be more compassion in the world if men had to endure a fraction of the humiliation we endure.
Honestly, next time my doctor prescribes a medical procedure like this, i'm going to weigh my options. worst case scenario... death? vs. the internal ultrasound? hmmm... it's pretty much a toss up... 6 of one, half a dozen of the other.
p