Wednesday, April 4, 2007

April already. Certainly doesn't feel like spring. We've been getting a ton of snow.
Physically ~ been having troubles:) i hate to be a whiner 'cause i know my issues are so small compared to what some people live with... but it's hard for wimpy me.
The doctor is sending me for an ultrasound & i got some more bloodwork done. In so many ways, i wish that these physical things i'm going through were behind me. All the little aches and pains of pregnancy are of no consequence when you get a little baby at the end. But to have to go through the pain of losing your wee one~ & then to have physical complications just seems unbearable. & i don't know how much of this post is hormones talking & how much is really me.
Sometimes i feel like i'm stuck reaching back. & i'm going a hundred miles an hour ~ away ~ farther away from my babies. But, Oh, God, by your Goodness alone, i'm working my way towards my little ones & the taste of heaven has sweetened yet again & i rest in the knowledge of your Goodness.
i wonder about You, God. i wonder about the parts & things i don't know or understand. & i want to know You. God, Father, God of Abraham, i want to know You. i don't want to anger You by wondering about untruths, but i don't want to be so stuck to theology that i miss the still small "whisper in the wind".
Gotta go, running out the door to my ultrasound.

1 comment:

Jamie said...

I could have written this...


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