Waiting for a phone call from someone to tell me when i have to get that nasty surgery. Lots of moms say that i'll feel better... oh, i'm so hoping to. This is maybe too much information, but when my doctor phoned me yesterday, she said the reason the surgical d&c is unavoidable is because it's been almost 6 weeks since babe was delivered & my cervix is closed & she says there is not much chance of me being able to deliver what's in there on my own. She had originally said if there was a problem we could consider the surgical or chemical d&c, but the u/s said there was too much there to consider the chemical d&c ~ i don't know if one would be better than the other anyway.
On top of that i've been feeling terrible physically... (i had a ruptured cyst on my breast, headaches, i'm so tired & maybe only 10 days without bleeding since Feb 23). She thinks all my symptoms are from haywire hormones & bloodloss.
i was telling a friend of mine that it feels like forever since i've felt good & feels like i'll never feel good again.
i'm so glad i've already delivered tiny baby as i can bear making choices that affect my body... & not someone else's.
i'm so beyond disappointed. i want to feel well for my family & i just can't go on feeling like i do... but in so many ways i wish this could be behind me.
i've been emotional & crying & i so wanted to avoid the surgery.