Wednesday, August 15, 2012

school on the brain

It's mid August and that means that i'm starting to wrap my mind around fall - and the idea of homeschooling grades 11, 9, 7, 5, 3, K and one little tornado baby.
After a decade of homeschooling, i found that this year a lot of my preparation happened by browsing my own bookshelves and pulling out favourite dog-eared resources to use again.  It involved buying costco packs of notebooks and pens - and a couple of online orders of classic books that i'd like to round out their educations with... and then stacking it all neatly on my counter to contemplate with twinges of excitement and anxiety.
This doesn't mean that i've got it all figured out. 
Far from it. 
But at least at this stage it saved me a few bucks that will instead be spent on gymnastics and violin lessons. 
So i'm scrambling with the loose ends that i need to consider - what math curriculum for little Miss who didn't like hers last year?  Will sparkling eyed one keep up with hers?  Or will i need to tweak it?  When will the books arrive for the online courses that my biggies are taking?  Will sunshine boy learn to read?  What read alouds will we do?  Will my bigs be too big and my littles be too little to learn together?  Will we finish reading the bible this year?  Will we have enough quiet areas in our crazy house for learning to happen? How will we fit in my commitment to 40 Days for Life - which i feel my Father laying heavy on my heart - far from releasing me from it as i thought He might... Will i really have to prepare meals on top of it all?  And will my travelling man be gone half time like he was last year?
And in great scooping handfulls, i bring it all to Him. The One who bids me to come.  It runs through my fingers like sand as i bring it - each tiny speck of concerned mama-love, every perceived disadvantage, the less than perfect, the possible mistakes and failures. i can't even carry it as it slips through the cracks and runs in streams from my hands and i stack it in a loose pile at His feet.
Take it, Jesus! 
On the cusp of another homeschool year - i remember why i'm doing this: because i'm supposed to.
And it's enough.


Mindy said...

I'm sitting here crying. I've been feeling so, so insecure about this next school year...wondering what we can do to make the process happier for all of us. Paying, praying. Thank you for this, Paige. I needed to read it.

paige said...

i feel that way every year, Mindy - it's no small thing we're undertaking & it is a little scary to bring our measely loaves and fishes to feed the multitudes... Thankfully - i know the One who multiplies :)

Sara L said...

I wish I could comment on all your posts. Think of the loveliest comment you wish to hear and pretend I wrote it on them all, ok? haha Anyways, I'm a mess about homeschool stuff this year. But a bit more peaceful mess. We're in the middle of a move, doing some serious reno's on our new place and with my hubby working out of town it's been stressfull trying to paint, pull carpets, pack and still get the normal stuff done. Then, homeschool season is upon me and... ack! I still don't know which school board I'm going with. I have no clue... But I bought a good bunch of my materials at the convention this spring, so when we finally unpack... we can start, something. I seriously considered sending them all to school this year and my hubby reminded me of the same thing you're saying. This is more then educating... This is what we do, how we raise our kids. Thanks for the reminder too :)


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