love lives

Shortly after we were married, i let neil in on a little secret. Sometimes, when i felt like i needed to - i climbed all over my husband... breathing in his smell and listening to his heart beating... Holding on like a wind might pull me away - and clinging to him like a baby to it's mother...
i whispered into my new husband's ear, "This might happen every once in awhile neil... when i'm insecure - i need to be close to you..."
Since then - when i use him as a jungle gym - he grins at me and asks nonchalantly, "Feelin' a little blue?"
& i close my eyes & hold on... Borrowing from his endless supply of peace - and finding my security burrowed into his chest.

& it's funny - how love can be in a touch...

One day - after i'm sure he felt like he had never had any personal space in his entire life - he picked me up & put me aside, "Leave me alone..."
& i did - the little hole in my stomach having been filled already - but i grinned at him as he walked across the room to get away from me, "You like it though... i know you do."
"We'll figure that out another day..."
& i guess we will - we have months & years to figure out the pleasures & the sacrifices that went into letting the other know they were safe...

My wordless man had to be told that i needed a verbal 'i love you' - "Once a day..." i specified - throwing caution to the wind & daring to ask too much, "With eye contact."
"We'll start tomorrow." He grunted - and fell asleep with his back to me.
The next day, he made me wait till 5pm...
The day after that, only till 7:30am... hazel eyes brimming with hilarity as he caught me wet from the shower, "i sure love you, paige..."
& Love lives...
and moves...
and breathes...
in our home - giving and taking -
Love lives...
making her home among us...
Love lives...
taking hurt & harsh words - & softening them with her tenderness...
Love lives - in words - in touch - in acts of kindness - in sacrificial silences...
Love lives.