angry juice

i was having a nasty Tuesday morning...
The day was only hours old and i had already seen two children cry over their school work, i had refereed too many fights to count, and i was trying to organize the house after an impromptu night away at my sister's house.
Finally, it was Ephraim's nap time. i folded his tiny body in my arms to carry him upstairs to get him ready for his snooze.
But he was angry. He kept flailing his body away from mine and crying out as he smacked me with his chubby little starfish hands.
We peeked into Cai's room to say g'night as we usually do if she's working up there when he goes down for a nap.
i smiled at her, "Ah, Ro - i'm having a hard day - i've lost my patience way too many times already & it's only morning..."
She smiled back, "Maybe when you nurse Ephraim when you're mad, it just feeds him angry juice 'cause he seems pretty mad too..."
& i think she's onto something.
Mothers have this inestimable impact on the mood and the atmosphere in the house. When we give in & like a child, allow ourselves to be tossed and turned - swept away by the tempers and exasperation that surround us - we're not doing our job...
i know we're not perfect... but i see us as a kind of a greenhouse... sheltering from the inclement weather and protecting tiny buds so that they are fit to bear fruit.
i smooched Cai - and whisked my tiny boy away to my room. It was tidy - a haven - and i shut the door. i crowed over my little one as i changed his diaper and wrapped him in his sleep sack. He spat out his soother in anticipation as i took him in my arms, and fed him...
happy juice.