2 quotes from The Kite Runner:
Sometimes, Soraya sleeping next to me, I lay in bed and listened to the screen door swinging open and shut with the breeze, to the crickets chirping in the yard. And I could almost feel the emptiness in Soraya's womb, like it was a living, breathing thing. It had seeped into our marriage, that emptiness, into our laughs, and our lovemaking. And late at night, in the darkness of our room, I'd feel it rising from Soraya and settling between us. Sleeping between us. Like a newborn child.
I remembered when we used to lay forehead to forehead, sharing afterglow kisses and whispering until our eyes drifted closed, whispering about tiny, curled toes, first smiles, first words, first steps. We still did sometimes, but the whispers were about school, my new book, a giggle over someone's ridiculous dress at a party. Our lovemaking was still good, at times better than good, but some nights all I'd feel was a relief to be done with it, to be free to drift away and forget, at least for a while about the futility of what we'd just done. She never said so, but I knew sometimes Soraya felt it too. On those nights, we'd each roll to our side of the bed and let our own savior take us away. Soraya's was sleep. Mine, as always, was a book.
Now, i know that the desire for 'fruitfulness' in marriage doesn't seem to be universal among couples of childbearing age... but i thought this author captured a bit of how i feel about intimacy. Not that i *must* constantly be with-child ~ but it's that i want to hold nothing back ~ to throw all caution to the wind & trust that the Creator knows better than me... i guess choosing to impose the state of sterility on my marriage that the characters find themselves coping with in this book seems counter-intuitive to me...