His Eyes Watch the Nations

"... but God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer. Praise be to God who has not rejected my prayer or witheld his love from me." - ps. 66:19&20

i remember being struck one time with how many times the Bible says, "God heard"...
& then not only does He hear... He sees.
& then not only does He see... He has compassion.
He is moved on behalf of His creation.
Sometimes i sit and feel Him far off... & by His silence, i begin to wonder if He walked away from me, and my whispered prayers are offered only to an empty room.
But no.

"You answer us with awesome deeds of righteousness..."

Remind me again, Father...
My prayers? They don't fall on deaf ears...
They're caught up by the Father of Lights... & "Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live." - ps. 63:3&4a

What's Happenin'

* So... i have been working a little on my "Reviews for _40 Weeks_" tab at the top of my blog. i'm hoping to be adding to it in the next couple of months, so keep checking back - but considering the book has only been available for about three weeks now, i'm *so* blessed by the positive response.

* My friend Jen is hosting her first giveaway in honour of Mother's Day & the prize is a copy of _40 Weeks_ - go check it out if you're interested!

* i'm speaking at a ladies' event (a chocolate buffet no less) at McKenzie Towne Church in SE Calgary on Friday, May 6th at 7pm. Come one, come all... but only if you're a girl.

*Maybe some of you noticed the button on the left hand corner of my blog... Circle of Moms is putting together a list of the top 25 homeschool blogs. As i scrolled through the list of many, many blogs, i found a few gems - such a fun little treasure hunt! If you wanna vote for me, but don't feel like scrolling all the way through to find me, here's a direct link!
(ps - you're allowed to vote once a day until it closes on May 11th!)

i get the point...

neil's not a reader. He reads sparingly - for information.
Recently, someone he respected lent him a book to read. He plowed through it, using time on flights to get everything out of it that he could.
When he got home, i asked him how he liked it & he said, "Do you know why i hate books?" & i said, "no - why?"
"Because they say their point, then figure out a million ways of saying the SAME thing... i get the message already."
i don't think all books are like that - but i have noticed that on occasion... my Father uses the same technique with me.
He'll bring a thought to my head - then reinforce it by making it the focus of the next devotional i'm reading - it'll come up in my conversations, or will be the topic for the sermon at church.
Sometimes i wanna say, "ok, i get it... now let's move on..."
He has been doing that for a couple of years now...

Hey, paige... guess what? People.... people matter to God.
Your Father? He loves people.
Do you know how much He loves people? He loves you too...
And children... they're pretty special people. And God? He loves children too.

There are variations on the theme - different ways of learning the same lesson - as it gets plowed into my mind... and hopefully my heart again and again.

entering in

Some people are *too* empathetic... They get so caught up in the needs and wants of hurting people that sometimes they could almost drown themselves...
This post is not for those people.
It's for the rest of us - those of us who hear of hurts, aching sorrows - and we lack the words to comfort. We know the needs - but are unable to fill it. We hold back - claiming to be afraid of barging in on someones private pain - but relieved that we have an excuse to say - and do - nothing.
My cheeks burn even writing that paragraph because i know... i know that people are important - and that God gives me opportunities to *enter in* - to His precious lambs' sorrows... and i have squandered them. i have been afraid to make eye contact - or to listen... *really listen*. i have been too engrossed in my own journey, too exhausted by my own needs - too busy, too tired, too happy...
i remember one time, being almost blown over with the enormity of a friend's loss. i told Neil that she couldn't possibly want to hear anything that i had to say... and that even if she did, i had no words for what she was going through.
Neil *so gently* scolded me.
"You gotta at least throw a lifeline, paige... She can take it, or leave it, but you gotta at least throw one, so she knows it's there..."
And so... tentatively, i went to my computer - and wrote a brief message.
Obedient to the soft chastisement of my husband, but more so to the whisper in the wind that prodded my soul.
Scared? Yes!! i was really terrified that my words could possibly cause even *more* pain... but i bathed that little email in tears, love and prayers - and then pressed 'send'.
This is a really, really hard thing for me. i don't know what to say - or how to say it. i'm not good with gifts, nor do i have the ability to physically *be there* - sharing in painful silences. i'm not overly social - and just getting out of my house takes me beyond my comfort zone. i know that i can't be all to all - and i need to be here for my little ones - despite the fact that there are angry waves of hurt and pain happening in the lives of people that i love...
But...
i pray for softness, for courage when those opportunities arise - for willingness to sacrifice my own comfort, my own laughter (for a moment), my own satisfied soul - and enter in... gently - to the pain of another.

baby fever & the PGA

i grinned at him one day & told him i had baby fever.
He looked at me solemnly before grunting, "You can have another baby when i make the PGA..."
i smiled.
Then i started praying for his short game.