New Year's Resolutions

1. 40 Days for Life begins at the end of February... i want to go at least 10 times during the 40 days.  Wanna join me?  Check it out HERE or follow our blog HERE. 

2.  i need to be more intentional with some areas of our homeschool... This January, i hope to build on the good habits we've already formed & beef up our homeschool day just a little. 

3.  i'm not gonna quit bugging God about that whole, "unloved" thing... i had this dream - & i was walking, making my way along in a city?  the country?  through a town?  i was walking, walking... thinking to myself, "How'm i ever gonna get there?" (wherever "there" was...) when suddenly, WHOOOSH... i was picked up by something like a great cloud... It was so mighty and thick, that my face was squished right into it, and i couldn't see where or how i was carried to wherever it was i was going...

i'm hoping that my healing is something like that dream... where God picks me up & we cover a vast distance that i never could have navigated in my own strength... He's able.

There are some nameless, faceless ideas for resolutions too... i would like to run a bit this spring, i have an idea for nanowrimo that is a possibility, the sweetness of my marriage is on my mind - i'd like to be intentional about my relationship with my husband, neil is gonna be travelling a lot this year... i want to do this part of life *well* - even when it's hard...

i love the freshness of a new year - the opportunity to glance around, wake up a little, shake off the weariness, change direction, choose better....

The picture that i am carrying into the New Year is of soil being tilled and made ready.  Hosea 10:12 says, "Sow righteousness for yourselves, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the LORD, until he comes and showers his righteousness on you."  i like that... 'break up your unplowed ground..'  There's gonna be work this year - & i'm ready for it.

bible - how we do it

Mama's often ask me how we do "bible" in our house.  i'm fairly certain i've blogged about this before, but i felt like giving it another go today as we head into the New Year. 
Over these past good years, we've sure done a lot of different things to hide God's Word in our hearts... We used picture bibles when our littles were all little, telling stories from that Good Book in our own words.  i even remember Neil acting out David and Goliath when the kids were really, really little. 
Later on, when Cai started grade 1, i moved bible from bed time - to a part of our school.  i found i was too tired at night & i felt like i wanted to be more intentional about it.  We used different devotionals (many that came with homeschool curriculums) - some of our favourites for really little ones were: Leading Little Ones to God or Right Choices.  i love simple, child-like language and lessons that aren't trying to be "cool"... We purposefully chose books to read that would invite thoughtfulness and discussion about our faith - things like Little Pilgrims Progress, Patricia St. James books, the Narnia Chronicles... Every day, we would do "bible" - which was really more of a devotional with bible reading in it - and also do some read-alouds.  These read-alouds weren't always faith focused, but sometimes they were.  Regardless, reading aloud good, quality books has been a long established tradition in our house & it helped to be able to use this habit to further invite discussion about the things that really matter. One of the first "chapter books" my emerging readers would conquer would be the Beginner's Bible - (which would also be a good choice for a mom with little ones to read aloud). 
Eventually, as my little classroom got even bigger and older, i moved away from devotionals... (and to be honest, this has been one of my favourite seasons in our bible teaching in homeschool... away from any curriculum) & instead i would pull out my big brown bible & read out loud to them... stopping to read certain verses again.
It got so that i would pass my big bible around that breakfast table, but i found it was cumbersome for my littler emerging readers... my older girls would pull out their own bibles, but the small differences in translation were often confusing and frustrating to little ones trying to follow along.  Finally, i decided to buy a little stack of inexpensive bibles used solely for family bible time. i have seven children - only 5 are "school aged" & must sit quietly - the other 2 can do what they want.
Now, honestly - anyone with 2 preschoolers can tell you that it's a rough go trying to have bible reading with little ones who can't sit... but if i waited to do bible with Cai till i didn't have little ones anymore... we would have run out of time.

& this time has been so worth it.
 
We have learned so much in these good growing years.  My 2 big girls have chosen to read through their bibles independently too - & i believe that the small seeds of hunger that have been planted by a really flawed, but consistent habit of prayer and study - are going to cause my little ones to continue to grow and learn long after they leave my little nest. 

the checkmarks are last year, the dashes this year

So now with children in grades 10, 8, 6, 4 & 2... we get up in the morning.  If you get up early enough, you can have breakfast & a shower, but when i call, 'bible' (around 8am)... everyone finds a spot in the living room.  We open to whatever book we're reading, and we've fallen into the habit of reading until we hit the next chapter mark after we've flipped a page - so, roughly one page.  When we reach the end of a book, we take votes on what we'd like to read next.  Right now, we're finishing Joel, Amos & Obadiah.  i'd like to have finished the whole thing before Cai graduates (!)

Some things to consider:

*i think it doesn't really matter what you do for bible time... i think it's just an awesome habit to get into.  Reading one proverb a day for a month would be a great place to start & then you could go back do it again!  (or check out the books i linked above.)

*Prayer is a giant part of our bible time... i want to understand what we read, i want our hearts to be soft, i want the change to be internal - not just an external habit.  Prayer for us is sometimes a halting affair sprinkled with petty arguments and criticisms, "Don't pray like that!", "Mom!!  Don't let her steal my seat!!" Don't let these things discourage you... keep on - the habit will bring fruit... i promise.  A good place to start might be to memorize the Our Father prayer (Mt. 6:9-13) with your little ones.  We pray for our daddy, for our neighbourhood, for Sadie... & we bring our requests to a Faithful Father who hears...

*If you feel guilty for starting & stopping & starting again... don't.  Realize that it will get easier the more times you start.  Choose to do it at a different time.  Maybe like me, you're too tired at bedtime - maybe mornings are too busy.  Find a time when it feels comfortable... maybe when the baby is nursing?  During lunch?  With daddy - or without?  Change what you're reading - or how you're doing it.  Maybe if your littles are tiny, a devotional or a children's bible would make it easier... Gagey loves his tiny bible with 1 paragraph stories much better than our family bible time. 

*Pause if you find a gem & take the time to memorize it.  My littles have memorized chapters in Luke or Hebrews, Proverbs or Psalms... Worth it.  Worth it.  Worth it. Cai memorized Psalm 23 when she was 3.  That's a good one :) Most often, i print out the chapter i want them to memorize & then highlight their verses - it's so much more rewarding to memorize in a group!

*Yeh, i know... parts of the bible are a little x-rated.  It's a hard book!  It's uncomfortable & sometimes not appropriate for all ears... Don't pause and memorize those parts just yet :) ... read them if you want - but don't dwell on the stuff that will be way over their heads.  You won't be able to explain it all - & that's ok.   

*Don't think that i've got it all together.  i don't.  My kids have seen me cry a lot lately & i often feel like a bitter failure :)  Just so ya know... this post is meant to encourage - not discourage.  Take what's helpful & discard the rest. 

*Bible time is only worthwhile because God is who He said He is... He... is everything. 

How to start a riot

Riots aren't that hard to start. 
Neil can start one with a prayer. 
"Dear Lord, thank you for this food, for a safe trip and for some of my kids.  Amen."

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If you are sick of my morose, boring blog, it's not my fault.  My 15 year old daughter has made, "calling" blog posts pretty much an olympic sport & she beats me to it everytime something funny happens in our house. 
Her blog rocks. 
You can read it HERE. 

that christmas

Hey little ones...
Dad & i were talking in the van on the way home from Auntie's the other day about some of our favourite years.  One of mine was the year Gagey was born.  That's why i call him sunshine boy.  It felt like for some reason - life breathed warm breaths, no clouds restricted the sun's access in my life & the year as a whole brought good things... Daddy's was the year he went from production manager to mill manager.  He said he felt like, "the man", his efforts were all fruitful and his talents were recognized.  We've sure had a lot of good years, your daddy & i.     
i gotta tell you though, little ones, there will be seasons of sorrow in this life too. 
This summer... i felt the season coming on... like a sailor will notice signs in the sky.  A streak of darkness, a sinister snap of thunder... the storm clouds began to move in. 
& my Father provided for that time. 
He brought me to a new place of prayer.  One that i had never been to before - & one i never plan to leave. 
& the rain began - just as He put that covering over me... and my parents filed for divorce, my niece began chemo, and the things i thought were strongest proved weak. 
& that's what brought us to experience, "that Christmas" this year.  The one in the midst of the storm.  The one where Sadie had to go to emergency with a fever.  The one with only half of us there. 
& your feisty auntie sent me a text before we arrived & i smiled as i read something to the effect of, "i want to weep on your ample bosom". 
i told her she's welcome to whatever i've got.

She's funny & sometimes she can make you laugh till you cry...
& other times you cry till you just have to laugh too. 
It was that christmas for us this year.
The one that just had too many strikes against it to be normal.
But, it was also the one that brought us together with giddy joyful little ones who squealed and stayed up too late & made every effort worthwhile.  It was the Christmas Ephraim wasn't quite 2, and he loved baby Eva & they ran into each other's arms after her nap.  It was the Christmas that we ran out of chocolate, the Christmas of the Operatic Turkey Play and the Elevator Fart.  It was the Christmas we got those blinking reindeer noses, the Christmas the barn was finished, the Christmas Daddy awkwardly stumbled through his job change.  It was the Christmas Auntie jess got, "it's Friday" stuck in Daddy's head, and we listened to Dancing in the Minefields in silence while we waited for our toast to pop.  It was the Christmas of the comforting husband, the perfect weather, the song Hear Our Praises. 
& yeh, we cried... ample bosom or not.
& neil chatted with exclamation points all the way home. 
& this Christmas becomes, "that christmas" as it ends with a Silver fox pulling out of a friendly farm yard & i'm blinking back tears as the sun hits the snow and my husband murmurs, "You want a coffee for the road?"
& we wonder if those big extended family Christmases are maybe coming to an end?  These good years, sorrowful seasons - they come & go.  Some things you wait on your whole life & they never come.  Some reconciliations aren't yours to make.  Sometimes the seasons pass too quickly & we realize that in 2 years Cai will be in grade 12... & the winds of change are springing up all around us.
i'm grateful for this Christmas.
Even if it goes down in history as "that Christmas". 
Because the blend of the beauty and the sorrow - and the Faithful Father over all & in all... is a lesson i don't want to miss out on.

driving miss daisy... ahem... paigie

i'm posting this on Christmas Eve... when most people aren't probably reading blogs.  i'm posting it for the ones who are hiding in their rooms, avoiding the festivities, or who just need some alone time.  i'm posting it for the introverts, for the ones who need a teeny grin, for those who will be glad to welcome a New Year.  i'm posting it for the ones who feel invisible - bleeding and dying on the side of the road - the ones who are crying out for Immanuel, "God with us"... to see them.
Hey, you know what?  i'm thinking of you this Christmas...
1.) Here is a verse that has been ministering to me... Hosea 2:14 “Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her."
The whole context is a disobedient nation that needs to be punished... but He's going to "allure her... and speak tenderly to her..." because God?  He's like that. 

2.) Here is a post that might make you smile... Merry Christmas... now get back out there & Praise the God who speaks tenderly :) 

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i was out with Cai the other night running errands & i had to laugh at my courageous 90lb daughter fearlessly driving our 12 passenger. 
She did great, navigating Christmas traffic and trying to muster the courage to actually go the speed limit.  We were working on breaking before a turn & hitting the gas midway through the turn and making wide "farmer" turns with our big vehicle into parking stalls.  She seemed to be absorbing every word i uttered (i turn into an auctioneer whenever she turns the key in the ignition).  But we were doing well, my little chauffeur and i, & i felt like, "k, we're getting the hang of this..."
We were all finished our errands & were coming out of that busy little shopping center on 130th when she took a turn just a turn just a touch too tightly and ran over the curb. 
"Whoops..." She barely whispered - nonchalantly under her breath as i gripped the seat and added in a shrill drone, "It'salrightkeepgoingjustalittletightontheturnyoucandothis!!"
As we continued out of the parking lot, i noticed an even larger, pristine 15 passenger - being driven by a Hutterite man.  We made eye contact & he had just the slightest smirk on his face... like he has likely been in my very seat at some point in his life. 
i saluted him as my daughter hit the gas, to take us home.